What do you think of this?

[LaylaandSethsmum]

DD is in Yr 1 , she has a certain girl in her class who is constantly badly behaved and in trouble with the teachers, she has also stolen little things from school. This child comes from a particularly poor background and has noone as a real role model so, tbh, this behaviour is hardly unexpected.

However, this week DD has said that child x now has to wear a sash all day at school.she said the head came into the classroom and told all the children that " If you see x in the corridors or classrooms misbehaving you should come and get me and she will come and sit in my office"

So I have a feww questions does anyone have experience of this? It doesn't sit well with me and I feel its humiliating for her and not constructive, should I speak to the head?
I know that things may not actually be as they have been told to me by DD.

I'm just concerned , if this was my child I would not be happy.

Thanks x

Oh dear, I don't like the ideal of the sash and labelling her, especially so publically, at such a young age. Sounds like the school need to do some more positive reinforcement rather than this.

If it was my child I would be in school like a flash to "discuss" it.

that's institutionalised bullying and an extremely poor example for the other children as well as horrifying for the victim

I would get the facts from the horses mouth first though .. I'm fairly sure that teaching staff would not condone ritualised humiliation in this day and age .. there may be different issues

Sounds like bullying to me. I would check whether the head's actions put her in breach of the schools anti-bullying policy

If it is true and it happens to someone else's child I would still be in like a flash because what exactly is it saying to my child

you will be publicly humiliated if you step out of line
it is your job to spy and snitch on your peers
a child can be bad through and through
this child is a scapegoat

no, I wouldn't like that at all

if it is true

Thanks , Twigglett thats what I thought, have spoken to my mum about it who said she would be very suprised if it was true. The school is very positive in other ways so seems strange.

That poor child

If she has to wear the sash at all it should be so other children can tell the head when she is being GOOD.

Ask the teacher for clarification.

This child should not be made to seem any different form the others, no matter if she is badly behaved. There are other courses of action that the school could take to try and get the child to behave. Making her stand out from every other child in the school is hardly, imo, a good idea. It makes her different from the other kids, she will know that as will the other children in the school. If she starts to feel like she is different then the school may well find that her bad behaviour will become worse.

It's effectively like putting a dunces hat on the not so smart child. You just don't do it. Seems like a bit of a Victorian method, not really suitable for a school in 2007!

I'm glad everyone else seems to think the same as me!

I have spoken briefly about it to some other parents but I think I will see the head to talk about it.

If, God forbid, the situation is actually as DD says what are my options? I love the school in all other ways and DD is very happy there .

It does sound awful, but maybe the school are just trying to make her easily identifiable for the other children in case she wanders out of the school....?

I find that quite disturbing if it's true.

However I'm not to keen on

"This child comes from a particularly poor background and has noone as a real role model so, tbh, this behaviour is hardly unexpected."

this generalisation about people from very poor backgrounds either

QoQ I didn't mean poor as in financially poor I meant as in lacking in guidance, discipline, care, consistancy, generally a poor standard of home life.
I am on the side of this child .Given her home situation it is not suprising that she behaves as she does, that is not a generalisation.

aha - ok see what you mean now

Thanks everyone for your advice. I have finally managed to speak to DH about it and he agrees that it is tantamount to bullying.

I honestly feel sick about this, DH is going to speak to the head about it tomorrow and I just hope i've got the wrong end of the stick.

Don't get me wrong , i'm not in the least bit precious about my kids and totally support appropriate discipline in school and elsewhere.

To make matters worse the head is a friend too, I am also worried that if we complain she will then treat DD unfavourably , although I'm sure I can trust her to be professional!

I just feel that someone should champion this childs cause, her parents certainly won't, what worries me most is if the situation is as DD says then what do we do? The head won't change everything just because of our complaint.

Is there an update?

very nosy emoticon

sorry only just managed to get on the computer.

Update: spoke briefly to head today, she was running out of the door to a meeting but I was bursting and had to try and speak to her today. Long and short of it is that due to confidentiality she cannot discuss procedures that are in place for other children and the reasons behind it, of course I understand this but went on to say that the perception of the kids and parents is as I have already explained and if that isn't the case she needs to take steps to sort it out.
She said that wearing of a sash is going on but was at pains to point out that it was not a form of punishment or discipline and that things had been agreed with the education dept and her family.She said that using a sash or anything else to label a child as bad/bully whatever would never happen.

DH then spoke to the class teacher who agai reassure him it was not a form of discipline and that all the children knew the reason, she also said that the head had been over it again with the children this morning.

So on questioning DD tonight indirectly she said that X doesn't wear the sash now as was only for a week ( which is what head said) and that the teachers were worried that child x might go onto the road when there was noone to watch her. I know she has roamed before, out of classrooms etc but it may be that she has been found leaving school.

So I'm still not much clearer but I feel better having expressed my opinions and we will see what happens. The incident is also going to be brought to the next governers meeting at my request via one one the governers.

so why is she wearing a sash then?

I'm assuming it is to make her more obvious if she tries to leave school during lesson or breaktimes.

It sounds like they are trying to make her noticable so they can do a week's clamp down on the wandering behavior - maybe to try to intensively train her out of it by making sure that wandering is never positively reinforced by actually managing to get out?

oh I see