AIBU to expect a 'well done' or smiley face when all her spellings are right

[sundew]

I'm probably over reacting big time here but the last couple of weeks DD1 has got all her spellings right (and not easy words - last week it was months of the year). She is in Yr2.

Even thought they have all been spelt right there is no comment made. I would have expected a star, smiley face or even a 'well done'. I know teachers are busy these days but even so!

I've not been very impressed with the teacher anyway - all silly little things but this is the final straw as far as I am concerned. DD1 hasn't mentioned anything.

Should I have a word with the teacher? All comments gratefully received.

[MerryAnnSinglemas]

I wouldn't mention it

[Iklboo]

YANBU - you should always praise children for doing well - and for trying hard. Miserable bintoid teacher

[NAB3littlemonkeys]

No! My son is also in year 2 and gets just a tick. He gets stickers and comments in his reading record when he has read at least the required amount or more. They are growing up. TBH It seems a silly thing to be the final straw?? Are you looking for a reason to go in and talk to her? If you did this I think she wouldn't be impressed.

[MerryAnnSinglemas]

yes, NAB has said what I was thinking - ds gets house points for good work, but perhaps in yr 2 they are growing out of the stickers phase ? Of course praise and encouragement is good, but not for every single thing they do.

[Bundle]

do you not have anything else to fret about?

[bozza]

DS gets a super speller sticker when he gets them all right. He is y2 as well.

[SSSandy2]

What other things is the teacher doing that you're not happy with?

[TellusMater]

You thread title is "Am I being unreasonable to expect...". Your dd hasn't said anything. They're her spellings...

[sundew]

Bundle - lots of other things to fret about which is probably why I'm concentrating on this one as it is the most manageable!

I don't get any feedback from the teacher at all (other than the parents evening) - it is weeks since her reading book was filled in by anyone other than me.

The less able pupils in the class are getting listened to everyday with their reading and getting a Well done - so why not DD1?

I know I'm over reacting - but isn't that what MN is for - to blow off steam and for others to put you firmly back in your place!

[TheYoungVisiter]

maybe the teacher is praising in some other way? Eg telling her she's done well?

I think you're over-reacting tbh. Tell your DD you're proud of her - that's the most important thing.

[SSSandy2]

I see, so she is focussing on pupils who are struggling and not giving positive feedback, moving along the higher achievers? Or if she is, it is not apparent to you. Well, I think that is something you could bring up in a constructive manner.

[TheYoungVisiter]

well (just to put the cat among the pigeons) actually I think that's only fair. 8/10 from a child who struggles deserves a "well done" more than 10/10 from a child who gets top marks most weeks.

[coppertop]

In Yr2 ds1 got a sticker when he got all his spellings right but it's not something that I would necessarily expect to happen in all schools or even in all classes. Some teachers 'do' stickers and others don't.

We have something similar with the reading books this year (Yr3). The teacher apologised for this at parents evening but tbh it hasn't been a problem as ds1 reads either his own books or his library books at home. (Should add that the teacher brought the subject up, not me.)

Parents generally get feedback only at parents evenings but I know that when there are individual issues that the parents want to discuss at other times, the teachers always seem happy to help. What about asking your dd's teacher for an appointment to talk about your concerns? Hopefully she will be able to reassure you.

[SSSandy2]

Know what you mean YoungVis but at that age I think they all need encouraging. Maybe dd is getting a lot of positive feedback but the OP isn't aware of it.

[TheYoungVisiter]

I do think they all need encouraging, and I'm not saying that the able children should NEVER get a smiley, but equally they shouldn't get one for every single piece of work regardless. It ought to be a reward for hard work, not just correspond to whatever-out-of-ten.

Of course if the teacher is ignoring the able kids then that's a different question and you should have a word.

[LadyMuck]

YANBU.

And if your dd can easily get 10/10 most weeks without significant effort then shouldn't she be given more difficult words? I sympathise with the YoungVisitor, but actually effort should be praised, and not solely attainment. But if neither effort or attainment of 10/10 is worthy of praise then the work was simply too easy.

Same time it depends on class sizes etc - most teachers seem overworked, or at least overadmined. No harm for you to praise dd anyway.

[yurt1]

How do you know the less able readers are getting a well done every day and being listened to everyday

[Buda]

DS is in Yr2 also and gets a smiley face or "well done!" if he gets 10/10. And if he has read his book well. They also get merit points too.

Maybe the teacher does something in class that you are not aware of? Merit points or something.

[OrmIrian]

Perhaps the teacher encourages her verbally. A comment along the line of 'well done X, you've had fantastic marks for your spellings recently' might be more useful, rather than a written comment every time she gets 10/10. We have a little award scheme in our school every half-term for thoe pupils who have improved hugely - not for those who have stayed the same.

[sundew]

yurt - because my friends have told me their children are having additional reading help. I've really got no problem with this at all - I'm lucky DD1 is one of the older ones in her year so is managing work easily - but I don't want her to start coasting (which she would be more thatn happy to do) I think a little encouragement is always good nomatter what your ability

I do praise DD1 and she likes her teacher so I wouldn't dream of complaining about the teacher in front of her.

I think what I really need is to take a chill pill and only worry if DD1 is upset about it!

[smartiejake]

Growing out of stickers in year 2!!! dd1 Is in yr 7 and she still likes all the stamps stickers and credits they give out at her school.

[Buda]

Slightly off-topic but at the beginning of this year a few of the parents of children in DS's class were a bit unsure of the teacher - she seemed to shout a lot (turns out she is slightly deaf) and was bit distant.

What a difference a term makes. I went to pick DS up from football club this afternoon and he came and and his teacher was wandering past and she stopped him and gave him a big cuddle! Made me feel all warm inside! She really seems to love the children in her class.

[LIZS]

We haven't had them for spelling either , in fact it is only since I made a comment a few weeks back that dd says they now get a housepoint for 10/10 . Think that was an oversight as teacher was new and hadn't got to grips with the reward system

[maggiems]

My Dt's are in separate classes, both in yr2. DT2 gets lots of stickers, nice notes even a prize every now and again. Dt1 gets nothing much despite being more able.However he was very excited to get a sticker when he did as its a rare thing and he appreciated it more. I know being more able has nothing to do with it as all of Dt2's classmates get similiar comments. Just different approaches by different teachers. I wouldnt complain

[singersgirl]

DS2 (y2) gets 3 housepoints every week for getting all his spellings right and a small sticker in the book. I remember from when DS1 was in Y2 that he got 2 housepoints for 9/10 and 1 for 8/10.

I think it is tough because the able children can't 'try' any harder unless they get given harder words. DS2 does his Y5 brother's words for fun though.