Theft in primary school

[Ereynolds]

I am writing this to ask for advice on an issue with my sons primary school. My son is about to go into Primary 4 and to be brutally honest I am extremely disappointed in the school. My son has had numerous things stolen from him over the years in that school. In Primary school he had his jacket stolen from his peg and his school shoes stolen from his slot under his jacket (they have been told they need to wear plimsoles indoors), in Primary 2 he had numerous jumpers stolen (and yes I am saying stolen for everything because I have labelled every single piece of his clothing and shoes and not one has shown up in lost property) and last year alone between the time they were in till Christmas he had one jacket stole just before Christmas and after lockdown at the beginning of the year he had his replacement jacket stolen, I went to a meeting with the deputy head and the receptionist suddenly produced the jacket that had been stolen before Christmas and yes it had been stolen as the every single label that was inside the jacket had been cut out and where they had found it was in the medical room. The medical room is only used for serious injuries in this school as was explained by the Head teacher and my son has never had a serious injury. The school has been extremely lax about this and basically are dismissing it. One of the other parents in my sons class actually had to confront a parent whose child had stolen her sons jacket which was quite unique looking and the parent of the child had the absolute cheek to walk to the school with her child wearing this jacket, the parent did prove that it was her sons jacket as she had written her sons name on the inside of the sleeve cuffs and on the underneath of the hood. The parents in the school don't care as there has been numerous cases of children's clothes going missing and never been handed back. The reason I am writing this post is if anyone has any advice for me on how to make sure my sons stuff doesn't get stolen again as he is actually petrified to take anything off in that school now because of this. He won't take his jumper off even if he is boiling and he won't take his jacket off outside either. The last jacket actually got taken off the back of his chair in full view of his teacher and the schools attitude was basically so what?? I have labelled everything and written his name in permanent marker but that's what I did the last few years and it doesn't seem to make a difference. Thanks in advance.

Cheap and/or second hand clothes. Tell DC you don't care if they go missing. To be fair to the school there is a limited amount they can do other than ask others to look for missing clothing.

This happened to me at primary in the early 2000s. Someone stole my expensive school branded jacket. It was missing for weeks until one day when I was out of class at the toilet I decided to look in all the jackets for the tag my mum had sewn in. Eventually found it. It was stinking of cigarette smoke (no smokers at my home) and my zipper tag with my name on it had been ripped off. I stashed it in my school bag and took it home.

Like you say, though, the school did little about it. But I'm not sure what they could do, really. I still don't know who stole it or why, but it was so upsetting at the time.

It's particularly annoying when it's school branded stuff because A) everyone is wearing it so you can't tell who stole yours and B) it costs a bloody fortune.

If he has a coat you want to keep get his initials embroidered on the outside by a school shop embroiderer - either on the front or the collar.

Slip a few apple airtags into a few items of clothing/teddies and see if they all end up in the same house? 😅

Not had the issue of stuff going missing but when DS had a school jacket, I put his initials in permanent marker on the outside.

But I also think some kids are more careless with stuff than others.

Things do go missing all the time in schools unfortunately. Most of the time it's a combination of uniform that all looks the same, careless children and items not being well labelled enough (often they start off being named but labels wash out and parents don't notice).

We try so hard to keep belongings with children but it's so tricky. The mounds and mounds of stuff that end up unnamed and unclaimed in lost property speaks for itself.

That said, I also know that sadly some parents are opportunistic and will keep things that come home by accident.
One child in my class lost her jumper on the carpet in the last few mins of the day. We were pretty sure we knew which child had picked it up by accident (last couple of children left on the carpet) so the next day I asked his mum if he had come home with it by mistake. Mum said he hadn't.
A few weeks later I'm reuniting jumpers left strewn around the room by looking at names. I notice the name sticker on this particular boys jumper was peeling up at one side, revealing the name of the girl who it originally belonged to underneath.

Mum had actively stuck her kids name label over the top of a jumper that she clearly knew belonged to someone else.

I returned the jumper to the rightful owner and did let her know - "he's not coming home with a jumper today because that one actually belonged to someone else. They must have got muddled up somehow."

So it definitely happens, but I'm really not sure what schools can do to stop it. Most of the time we'd have no idea who had gone home with what (either by accident or on purpose) unless something like the above happens.

I'd advise naming the actual fabric of the items themselves if you can as well as the tags, and regularly check that the name is still clearly legible. Either stitch initials in or use sharpie on the inside of the collar/hem/back of the embroidered logo.
It should make things easier to reunite if lost, but also less of a target for opportunists if people can see it's clearly labelled.

Assuming that you are talking about a state school as opposed to an independent school, then from your description the school is simply not doing what is required but it is a difficult one for the school.
The first thing I would do, after labelling everything in all the awkward places where it is not easy to remove, is to formally in writing complain that the school has failed to stop these thefts and demand an explanation from the headteacher in writing. I would expect that you will get a response that does not satisfy, at which point you escalate the complaint to the Chair of Governors and then if there is still no satisfactory response then appeal to a panel of the governing board.
If I am honest I am not sure what response you will get from the school and the governing board as it will be necessary to either catch some pupils having pinched the articles of clothing and then involving the police, which the school will be reluctant to do. There is also an issue over the age of responsibility here and you could be in for a very long hard slog which will end up with you not getting any positive outcome.

You seem to have been really unlucky with this. I experienced it myself with my son’s school embroidered fleece - nicked, label cut out etc. From then on my son had the cheapest of cheap supermarket jumpers and I took a black indelible marker to every back rib. We never had a problem after that. Lots of parents don’t return anything taken in error (many of them don’t return the spare knickers and socks when their child has an accident even. It’s frustrating. Stealing can be an issue in schools but a lot of the time it’s also the problem of small children leaving their things all over the place. They leave their coats outside then insist to their parents and teachers that it’s been stolen. Sometimes parents get cross and accuse school staff of ‘losing’ their kid’s stuff. In my school we try our best to reunite children with their things. I’m not sure that being adversarial is the way to go here and involving the police is frankly ridiculous. You know it’s a problem in your school, I would ask whether the school can move to lockers instead of pegs or if your child can keep his coat in the stock cupboard or similar.

Sharpie on the inside collar of jumpers and on the back inside blazers. Also ask the school where the lost property is kept and get your dc to go and check lost property regularly.

I remember one child at dcs junior school lost one of their shoes in the first term of the year, it turned up the week before the end of the school year. That parent was not impressed.

Teachers are just normal people. They aren’t police. Do you expect them to confront the parents and accuse them of stealing?
Blame the parents not the school. Why don’t you confront the other parents yourself rather than expect the school be detective and police?

To address some of the comments, I have never once said that I expect the school to police it. I asked for advice on how to make sure that my son feels comfortable on taking things off in school without feeling like it is going to be stolen.
This school has a extremely bad reputation for theft inside school property and also for serious bullying inside the school grounds as well. The parents have basically washed our hands of talking to the school about issues as in my sons year there are 2 known troublemakers and those children are let away with murder and the parents never spoke to. One of the known troublemakers was the person who stole my sons last jacket off the back of his chair in the middle of class and the teacher watched him do it and didn't bother doing anything.
So I will reiterate I am not asking the school to police it because A. I know it is not feasible and B. because even if it was feasible I wouldn't trust them to actually do it as I have had to go above the head teacher about bullying that resulted in my son having bruised ribs and a concussion.

I experienced something similar at my kids' primary school. Eventually I got so fed up with their stuff going missing that I got myself a permanent sharpie and wrote their names in big letters on all their stuff. I basically "ruined" it for others. Names on the soles of socks, in big block letters in the linings of their blazers and cardigans, etc. Nothing went missing again.

@Ereynolds

To address some of the comments, I have never once said that I expect the school to police it. I asked for advice on how to make sure that my son feels comfortable on taking things off in school without feeling like it is going to be stolen. This school has a extremely bad reputation for theft inside school property and also for serious bullying inside the school grounds as well. The parents have basically washed our hands of talking to the school about issues as in my sons year there are 2 known troublemakers and those children are let away with murder and the parents never spoke to. One of the known troublemakers was the person who stole my sons last jacket off the back of his chair in the middle of class and the teacher watched him do it and didn't bother doing anything. So I will reiterate I am not asking the school to police it because A. I know it is not feasible and B. because even if it was feasible I wouldn't trust them to actually do it as I have had to go above the head teacher about bullying that resulted in my son having bruised ribs and a concussion.

You have lost confidence in your child's school. I think you should try and move schools if you can. You sound very negative. How do you know that these children 'get away with murder' when school cannot share information about other children with you? You also sound very sure that a teacher allowed a child to take your child's coat, knowing it was you child's and didn't do anything. With respect, it is very very unlikely to have happened like that and you cannot be certain if you weren't there. Issues like this, with parents getting together and discussing other children can lead to a very toxic atmosphere and all kinds of problems in a school. So unfortunately, if you feel like this, if you really don't trust the school, if you're unwilling to work with them to solve your problems, you should move your child.

The problem here is the school OP, going by your update on its awful reputation and issues. If you have the option of moving, then do so. It sounds like this property theft is just a symptom of the underlying issues.

@admission

Assuming that you are talking about a state school as opposed to an independent school, then from your description the school is simply not doing what is required but it is a difficult one for the school. The first thing I would do, after labelling everything in all the awkward places where it is not easy to remove, is to formally in writing complain that the school has failed to stop these thefts and demand an explanation from the headteacher in writing. I would expect that you will get a response that does not satisfy, at which point you escalate the complaint to the Chair of Governors and then if there is still no satisfactory response then appeal to a panel of the governing board. If I am honest I am not sure what response you will get from the school and the governing board as it will be necessary to either catch some pupils having pinched the articles of clothing and then involving the police, which the school will be reluctant to do. There is also an issue over the age of responsibility here and you could be in for a very long hard slog which will end up with you not getting any positive outcome.

Really??! Very extreme. What response would you consider to be satisfactory once you had ‘demanded an explanation’ ?

(I know this isn’t your opinion OP)

To be honest if you're in a school situation that bad (and I've been there - a handful of kids who bullied like mad but their parents would always be in complaining it was someone else and they got away with murder) - I'd be looking at labelling the fuck out of stuff, only sending in the cheapest you could, and getting the hell out of there.

Sharpie inside the neckbands of jumpers works well if you've got a school with the light-fingered and a red or royal blue uniform - but dark green and navy is a bit harder - if you have a friend with a vinyl cutting machine, I've done names on scraps of that and ironed it in to the point you're not getting it out this year.

Can you move schools OP? It doesn’t sound great & you are clearly unhappy with it. I wouldn’t be sticking around if serious bullying was a concern that’s for sure.

In terms of clothes - I use a sharpie or other permanent marker and write on the collar of all jumpers/polo shirts and on the inner pocket of trousers. I use large writing so it cannot be covered and it doesn't wash off.

I would suggest you buy cheap supermarket uniform as well.

Longer term, the school doesn't sound great? Can you move your son?

@PumpkinPie2016

In terms of clothes - I use a sharpie or other permanent marker and write on the collar of all jumpers/polo shirts and on the inner pocket of trousers. I use large writing so it cannot be covered and it doesn't wash off.

I would suggest you buy cheap supermarket uniform as well.

Longer term, the school doesn't sound great? Can you move your son?

Basically the above.

Forget nice name tapes that can be covered over or removed.

Don't write on labels that can be cut out.

You effectively need to graffiti the clothes in places where it cannot be removed and is visible.

For example putting your sons initials on the outside of the coat (on the hood for example or a breast pocket) or on the waistband of the jumper.

Sharpies are your friend.

Upshot is some clothes go missing by accident, but if names are visible it's less likely to happen.

But there are some parents who absolutely take the piss by not returning things or even deliberately taking them. You need to make your sons clothes undesirable to them.

I did hear from a work colleague that her DD's had a problem with this. School had limited ability to resolve. The parents turned sleuths and found one parent had a very active eBay account selling "pre-loved" school clothing....

Some children have their names machine-embroidered on the outside of their school jumpers in the same colour as the school’s logo. No denying who owns it then.

As a teacher I've known parents cut these off school sweat shirts

The stealing is epidemic in that school. I would move my son if I could but that is the closest school to us ( half an hour walk), myself and his dad don't drive and when I went to the education board about it was basically told that if I wanted to move him school that I would be responsible for getting him there on time which would mean getting him up at about half 6 in the morning to be put the door by half 7 as I have walked the route to the next nearest school and it took me an hour and a half and that wasn't with a tired 7 year old with me. Basically stuck between a rock and a hard place with it. I have got sharpies and wrote his name all over his stuff so hopefully it won't get stolen but I have come to expect it that much I have actually put money away to buy new stuff and bought another jacket in case his goes missing again.

My children have had numerous items taken in their private school. Some incidents were blatant theft (eg gave my DS some new sports goves on a cold winters day with name labels stuck on them. He put them into his sports bag on arrival in the classroom (I was outside the room when he went in with them). By breaktime when he was due to change into his sportskit they had mysteriously disappeared but a girl on his table had acquired an identical pair. Stick on name labels not on them but a remarkable coincidence! Labels could easily have been pulled off though. His gloves never turned up. My daughter’s scarf had her name crossed out when it eventually reemerged in lost property after disappearing. Someone had obviously acquired it and been using it for about a year! DS even lost a sports top that had his name written in permanent marker on the outside back of neck. I guess someone long hair got it as the name would be hidden!

Sew in woven name tapes in the obvious places, such as back of neck for jumpers, shirts, etc. or flat on waistbands of skirts, shorts, and trouser. Add another name tape inside, such as in a sleeve seam or trouser hem. Remind children to hang up things on their peg or in their locker; this works better for older children. If something goes missing, ask if you can check the lost and found yourself.

Friend's daughter has lost every single one of her logged cardigans to theft this year (they're not in any of the lost properties) - the fad seems to be to nick the logoed ones to replace their own un-logoed ones.

I'll be bloody crying if stuff gets nicked this year - logo cardigan with coloured bands through the waist and cuffs = expensive as hell and the order times on them from the only supplier is like a month and a half for the older kid sizes!