C of E School or Secular School?

[Cattenberg]

I might be able to choose between two primary schools for DD. Both are “Good” according to Ofsted. Assuming everything else is equal, which would you choose?

A) A secular primary school

B) A very religious C of E school, which places a lot of emphasis on God, Jesus and Eternal Life. I went to a similar school, and found it very comforting to believe in heaven. However, like most of my classmates, I lost my religious faith as an adult, and for me it was a blow..

I suppose what I’m really asking is - is it better to be brought up with a faith or with no faith?

You can be brought up with a faith, without going to a Church school.

If you, as parents don't have a faith, I presume you would prefer your dc not to be brought up in a faith, but that is only my presumption - surely you know ?

In theory, it should make no difference. There is no such thing as secular schools in this country as all schools are mandated to hold Christian collective worship daily. All schools learn ABOUT the major world religions by following the same locally agreed RE syllabus and CofE schools will no more provide religious instruction than the community school - that's Sunday school's job, if you want it. The CofE says its schools are not "faith schools" and are for the whole community, of all faiths or none. Community schools will also have a mix of people of faith, the unsure, and those with secular worldviews. So you should be able to pick the school that is the best fit for your individual child in terms of atmosphere, teaching style, physical environment, local friends, and practicalities like wrap around childcare and transport (while accepting nowhere is perfect and you compromise).

That said...I have a 7 year old at the local village school, which is CofE. I am an atheist, my husband is of a different faith. Our son overall is happy there, but the religious stuff is a major downside and has been far more prominent than we expected from the open day. A Christian background is very much assumed and taken for granted by their language and actions, the children are encouraged by example to believe and are expected to pray, and he feels "different" in a not good way as an atheist. The hard-core teaching about Easter, which was all new to him, in Year R was extremely distressing and he had screaming nightmares for weeks - the school just shrugged re the trauma caused and DS is a convinced atheist as a result, and also very anti-religion (the school's fault, not mine, and I'm not thrilled about it).

As a side note, the CofE's schools marketing spins a narrative that they are more nurturing and do values education better than the rest, because it comes from their faith. I think this is rather insulting baloney - my experience and that of friends locally is that good caring teachers and good caring senior leaders run nurturing primary schools with decent human values, regardless of their faith or lack thereof. Ask around locally what both schools are like, what are the Head's priorities and reputation, whether kids are happy there, etc and go with your gut as to where your child would best thrive.

I'd choose whichever school had the atmosphere I liked better. For me, that was the more secular school, even though I'm a practising Christian. It felt more inclusive, welcoming and caring.

School A, without a doubt.
Don't let them poison his young mind.

Thank you for the replies. I didn’t know that all schools hold Christian collective worship. I‘ll make sure to visit both schools and speak to more parents of current pupils.

Life is multi faith and non. To me schools should be the same. I'd not want 10% of childs teaching time to be something I don't believe in

That’s a good point. The (more) secular school teaches French from reception, which sounds great to me.

On the other hand, (I cannot lie any more), I went to the very religious primary school mentioned in the OP, (no, not just a similar one). Nostalgia is confusing things.

Also, isn’t religious belief a comforting thing to have, if you can? When one of our pets died, DD asked lots of questions and wouldn’t be fobbed off. I told her that some people believe that when you die, you just “stop”, but some people believe that you go to heaven. DD instantly chose the heaven explanation and still mentions it.

You can still have those elements anywhere. Ask what % of time is spent on religion. In some schools it's a lot. Less so in others. Yes some stuff is nice but in some schools it's payers 3x a day etc

Having done both, I'd go for secular every time. The C of E school used to trot out the phrase "our Christian values" whilst wilfully ignoring lousy behaviour to the point of gaslighting. Never again.

Personally, I think it’s better to be brought up with no faith. You don’t need it to be a better person but understanding of those who have it is incredibly important.
My child goes to a C of E school (not my choice but it’s a village and the best in the area) so we tolerate the stuff we deem nonsense. At home it plays no part. At school it does. When they are old enough they can decide for themselves

Secular for me. I’m feel pretty strongly religion should have nothing to do with education. I’m all for learning about all different religions & what the means etc. But a schools should not prioritise kids who go to the local church above those who live next door to the school. It’s complete nonesense! Religion is very personal. A school should not push it on a young child. You can choose to as a family but school is school!

I’d say that you’d know instantly if you were put off a school by the religious aspect.

We live in an area with two catchment schools, both outstanding but one secular and one C of E. We knew straight away we didn’t want the C of E and chose a “worse” out of catchment school for our second choice.

As an aside, my son came back from the secular school’s nursery and recited the full Easter story (“they put needles through Jesus’ hands and stuck him to some wood” was a choice excerpt) so it’s not totally atheist in a secular school either.

If you don’t have a strong feeling either way, visit both and consider the pros and cons of each. Religion obviously isn’t a big enough factor to make the decision for you, so pick for the school.