Missing a day of school (reception)

[zanyj]

DD is in reception (she's 4) at an independent school in London I'm trying to book a trip for half term we can't find any tickets except leaving Friday or coming back Monday... I am wondering how awful it is to miss a day. I know it's strictly prohibited-- but what can they do? And if I call in sick for her, it's painfully obvious, isn't it, when it's the day before half-term...

But she's just 4.. I can see not missing any school later on, but I'm paying the tuition, and it's just a day. As a non-English person, I just wanted some feedback about how this is handled.

Write a note, saying DD will not be attending that day.(If they get arsey, tell them you will not deduct it from your fees. )

End of.

My DS is at a very tightly run Catholic school in Surrey.

We are allowed 14 days authorised leave, the HM has no real problems with it.

He is in YR2 this year(exams ), and as it is shaping up/looking for this year, he will have .5 day to allow us to go to France for the weekend and 1 day to allow us to go and see family.

France fits in with the curriculum, and the one day is family so it is important. IYKWIM

When DS was in reception, I applied for a day off for DS to go to Legoland with his visiting cousins. I was quite upfront about it, and the HM wanted to know if he could come along as well.

Our school is supposedly very strict about it... In the parent's handbook it says "no authorized absence for extended family holidays"-- but hey, why not be unauthorized?? I think giving a quota of days you can miss is a superb idea.

I could argue that the day after half term is a momentous birthday for me and I want my dd with me!

of course I mean "authorised"-- I have given away the fact that I'm not English!

Missing one day in reception is going to make absolutely no difference to her education. While its good that schools are tightening up on people taking their kids out for a week or more just to get cheaper deals, if you really can't get any other tickets there ought to be some flexibility.

My DD really has been sick on the last day of a term - it does happen you know ! And I bet sometimes kids miss the first day back because of delayed flights, tummy bugs etc.

it is completely irrelevant in reception
one of the joys of independent school is that you can write letters saying "Just to inform you that tabitha won't be at school on Monday 20th May as we will still be in France".

End of.

Enjoy!

You have to get more English about this.
If anyone questions you, look at them as though they are slightly mad, smile vaguely, say "yes, isn't it a pity" and waft on.

I love your advice minty... thank you! I do need to be more English, or just more confident. I tend to yammer on and on. So, better to be up front about it than to make up an illness? I think if we're a day late, I'd be more tempted to say flight cancelled, missed flight, etc.

yes yammering is bad
you must be a yank
don't lie (what message would that give your children etc etc)
key is Not to Ask, but to Tell, and to Explain Hardly Anything. I find that if direct questions get too difficult a roll of the eyes and a "eugh! you don't want to know!" can stave off most things if you then scarper fast enough

Yes, a yank, I confess. I can't even hide it online. You are 100% right-- must tell, not ask, and not explain. (as hard as that is). All good advice, thanks.

I would of course love to hear more 'success' stories like yours for further inspiration!

also on a practical point, you do know that your legal obligation to educate your children only starts in the term after your child turns 5, in the UK?

so I don't think your school will make a peep if you take her out for 2 days or longer, actually

enjoy

Oh, thanks for that! I had heard something about the age 5 issue (maybe here on mumsnet?), so that's great to know. Now the issue is that for the ski holidays, most everyone runs sat to sat or sun to sun anyway, but we may sort something out on our own. Thanks again!

If you add that the trip will be of enormous educational benefit they cant refuse!

Dont worry if its not an educational trip, I have just been to a workshop about childrens writing and children need experiences to be able to write interesting stories later in life.

She doesn't have to legally be there until the term after she is 5.
If you're into avoidance, just don't send her and send in a note when you get back

Do you know that they call you if your child doesn't turn up in the morning? This is normally a good thing. Well, I found flights that work with the holiday schedule but not a hotel, in the meantime.

She'll be 5 in a few months. I need to be naughty and miss a day by then.

Its the term AFTER she turns 5. You are probably safe until the summer term!

Anyway my original thing still stands. You are paying fees, she is teeny tiny, if you want to take her out of school, take her out. Just tell them.

When my dd was in reception I didn't notice that the half term in the summer was only three days (mon tue wed). I turned up with her on the monday after half term and they said "where have you been?" "France" I said airily.
Didn't realise until some weeks later that we'd missed 2 days of school and that it wasn't purely a social question. Ha ha hahahahahahahaha

Hilarious! As I said, I like your style...