'Your skin's brown because you eat brown bread'

[Scantilydoesit]

My nearly 8 year old said tonight he felt upset because a boy in his class said this to him today.
My daughters have had similar things said to them in the past ( different school).
One was ' you can have the brown pencil because your skin's brown' and 'go back to Africa' (They were born here and have never been).
The kids are mixed race and I did mention the things said to my daughter to the old school and they dealt with it quite well.
I know kids say things and it's a fine line at this age but on the other hand, my boy is upset and needs to know these kinds of words are not acceptable.

WWYD?

School need to sort this out ASAP! Hopefully, they can do something with the entire class. Because if someone is allowed to say this stuff unchecked then you can guarantee there won't be only one child saying upsetting or racist stuff.

My primary school experience:

I was about 8 years old when I repeated something racist along the lines of the bread comment that I picked up from school.

My father (who was a teacher) was completely disappointed in me, I got a telling off and he then spent a great deal of time explaining why you can not say stuff like this, and also that he expected better of me, and how would you feel if someone reduced you to such terms.

This was a long time ago now, but he also used to point out everyday racism and sexism, such as the Williams sisters in tennis - when people used to say they were too muscly, or too masculine - or where some of the advertising had racist overtones (I remember him pointing out an advert about a chain of restaurants that was seriously dodgy and he pointed it out), and also the history of the country I grew up in (not UK).

Bless him, he also told me I had to step up and be friends with an immigrant student who joined my class at the beginning of secondary, as he explained that I needed to help this family settle, and if I was kind to her and friendly, then other children would be (again along the lines of imagining coming to a new class, new school and new country and how you would have wanted someone to make an effort for you).

My own child has also had negative comments about being a supposed immigrant (he was born in the UK but I am an immigrant) at primary school. The school was hopeless, and didn't really want to follow up on it so in the end I just tried to build up his confidence and told him the story of my Dad. My child says the day he was teased was the worst thing about primary school. He got very upset over it at first.

Not really sure if the above helps or not?

Speak to the class teacher! They need to be doing some work with the class on what is and isn’t acceptable. It’s never too early or too small a thing to start addressing.

I’m sorry you need to, and that your son was made to feel crappy x

I think you need to raise it with the school - this isn't acceptable and needs to be addressed. It reflects very badly on the culture of the school as a whole, so hopefully they will take it seriously.

This makes me so sad for your DC.

Contact the school as it is totally unacceptable. Racism is taught and it really really disgusts me.

I hope your DC are okay.

In a younger child, I think the brown bread thing could just be passed off as a misunderstanding. Children like to try and find logic where there is none, its the sort of thing my 4 year old would say. Its not malicious or negative. Obviously the child in question would be corrected and spoken to. However 8 is probably old enough to know better.

You contact the school and let them know this happened. They can then deal with it and it shouldn't happen again. Sadly children repeat stuff from parents or just make stuff up not realising the impact of their words. Schools take a hard line on this type of behaviour. I volunteer in a school and had a mixed race child report an incident similar to your son's to me and I then reported it to the head of that year group. It was dealt with immediately and harshly. Your son's school should do the same.

I hope your son is okay and it is good that he told you this happened because he needs to know it is not okay, no teacher at school will think it is okay either.

Sorry that your son is upset. Have the school not done inclusive lessons in the past? I must admit I have been very impressed with my sons school in regards to this. We live in a predominantly white area but they have done tons of lessons about how we are all the same on the inside, that it’s just skin like hair colour etc.

The only time I was really shocked was when I took my son to get his BCG (I’m from a high risk country) and they had cordoned us off in the GP surgery like some sort of apartheid thing! The receptionist was lovely and hadn’t realised how that looked.

Sorry to hear your son is going through this. I work in the SLT of a small and predominantly white primary school. We would definitely want to know so that we can handle it appropriately. We would do this by speaking to the child and parents and then doing class activities, reading stories, exploring and celebrating our differences. This is about the brown bread comment. The go back to Africa comment is MUCH more troubling to me as that has probably been learnt.

Yes speak to the teacher, they need to do some class work.

Regardless of whether or not it was racist or just an innocent child, your son and you are upset by it. I would have a word with the teacher as it’s only by making them aware that they can address it. So many things go unflagged these days, racism, the whole “Everyone’s Invited” thing. Letting things be swept under the carpet and normalised is not what we should be allowing or encouraging our kids to do.

On the pencil comment it’s the sort of thing my daughter might say though. She spends a lot of time trying to find the right “peach” colour when she is drawing herself. If she had said it, it would have come from a thoughtful point of view - “Here, look, this pencil colour matches your skin so you can do a great drawing of yourself”. I wouldn’t for one minute think she was being racist, actually quite kind hearted. I would be a bit upset if she got called out for it to be honest.

The Africa comment is awful and unacceptable. I’m sorry you and your kids have to deal with this.

Definitely need to speak to the teacher. Not just for your dc's sake but for other child too.

This sounds more like a misunderstanding to me (unlike the very horrible go back to Africa). The child is trying to understand why yours has a different colour skin, notices they eat brown bread everyday, eats white bread themselves, puts 2 and 2 together and comes up with five.

Does you son know himself why his skin is browner? When my son asked about a child with black skin at a bit younger than this I just said it's because that child has more melanin in their skin which stops it burning so easily in the sun. If he is confident enough to educate the other kids like this in the future I think it would be fab for his self esteem. Of course also talk to the teacher and ask her to educate the class - but give him the confidence to educate others because education and understanding is what is at the heart of beating racism IMO. xxx

Are there any charities or community groups who the school could invite in to talk to the children?
I think it’s great that schools are starting to be more aware of these issues but I think having a white teacher talk about them can fall a little flat. The teacher may not quite understand some of the issues or be comfortable discussing them.
The kids need to know a bit about black/ BAME/ immigration history, about how nationality and race are not intrinsically linked and British BAME people are British, about inspiring British BAME people, about how they can ask questions in a respectful manner.
It’s probably a stupid suggestion. I just think we’re missing a good opportunity for a real learning experience rather than another lecture from what white people think things should be like.
I’m going to get flamed now 😂

Thank you everyone. Comments all taken on board. All the usernames, I agree. As a white female brought up in a very white atmosphere (I travelled abroad alot later on) I didn't really have much idea about what racism 'feels' like even though I knew it was wrong. When it's your own flesh and blood, you feel it so bad. I understand what you are saying.

We live in a predominantly white area but they have done tons of lessons about how we are all the same on the inside, that it’s just skin like hair colour etc.
That's fine if there are many children of colour in the school. Unfortunately I can remember a teacher doing this kind of 'inclusivity' lesson as a topic in assembly. As I was one of only two children in an otherwise all white school, I felt totally humiliated as all the children in the school were staring at me.
That happened over fifty years ago, but I still remember the embarrassment.

One of only two mixed race children