I have lost all reason. Tonight I am in tears because teaching DD1 to read is so fckg hard.

[TheDuchessOfNorksBride]

She is 6yo & in Year 1. She is not progressing at the moment. She hates reading and behaves badly when 'forced' to do it (feels like force anyway). I am beginning to lose patience. I'm sure it will all click blah blah in time but it's fucking frustrating right now and I want to kick and scream.

The situation is probably not helped by her 4yo brother, who started Reception in Sept, learning letters & words at a staggeringly fast rate.

Anyone else want to scream?

I'd add to others' comments that it is incredibly frustrating - DD1's reception teacher said to just stop forcing reading at home and concentrate on other things - in fact she loved the CBeebies website and started spelling out words from that ('stop', 'next', etc.). And it's true that they do 'click' - 3 weeks ago, (she's now Y1) she suddenly said in the kitchen, 'I can read now, look!' and started spelling out the words on a packet of biscuits, a street sign, etc. She's regressed since - other skills are coming in and she's "forgotten" that interest - but it's been a great relief that that 'click' has happened.

My DD was a nightmare with reading but another one who just literally "clicked". It was during the Christmas holiday in Year 1. She went from randomly guessing words to reading those Daisy Meadows books in 2 weeks. I found it absolutely amazing as I had completely despaired of it happening, hang in there, it does improve.

Could you start reading a really engrossing book with her, get her hooked on the narrative, and then say, well, you have to read a bit every now & then?

There are book reviews on MN, grouped by age-group, so you could look at a few there.

Other ideas for reading/writing:

• making her own storybook - e.g. see the photobox link from MN homepage (10% off) - you could take photos and write text together with her, get it published & use it as a reader. Or do a cheaper version at home with photos & a notebook.
• encourage her to write a "diary"/keep a scrapbook - wouldn't need to contain much writing, but she could put tickets/photos/postcards in and write a few small details.

HTH

havent read all the things said before, so V sorry if I'm repeating stuff

Dd took to it all like a duck to water. Ds really struggles. Advive that his SENCO (and mine in school!) gave me was. Read alternate lines, so they get an idea of the 'flow' of the story. Otherwise they are just struggling with none of the reward of finding out what happens in the story. You could also read alternate pages. This really helps them to get into the staory.

You can give them a prompt at the start of a word, this helps them allong.

Read with them, at the same time. This helps to build their confidence, feeds their enjoyment and also (for you!) speeds things up.

Of yes, and a penny bribe for each double page read! That one really works for ds

Thanks for listening. I am in calmer frame of mind today. I've spoken to her class teacher again today who has told DD1 that she must keep trying to read at home but told me to only read a few pages of her school books and if reading our own books at home, to read easier ones than usual until things improve.

If and when her reading really takes off, you can all expect another thread from me bemoaning the utter shite that are Daisy Meadows' Rainbow Fairy books. They're terrible!!!

The books that really got ds1 going were the Dr Seuss ones, because they fitted in with the phonics teaching, and were also REALLY funny! There are a couple of books with shorter stories which may be easier going. Or something like Green Eggs and Ham which is so repetitive. And that will be way beyond what they are doing in reception, so she will feel superior!

Or can you try the game Silly Sentences? Ds1 really likes that too!

awww - don't 'teach' her to read and don't force her - try to step back from it. Ds1 was/is like this and the turning point for him was when we told him it didn't matter if he got words wrong. He would cry (and he's not a cry-er) and get so upset and fed up about reading because he was so frustrated he couldn't do it. We told him it didn't matter and that if he read 1 book a week (mostly a page a day, sometimes more and sometimes none at all) he'd get a kinder egg on a Friday. Worked a treat.

So in the evenings our routine now is that he reads a bit/some/all of his school book, then I read ds2 a book and ds1 a book. He's really getting there now - not sure if there's been a click, but definitely progress. He gets less frustrated because he can read the little words much quicker.

ooh yes, we also asked ds1's class teacher if he could bring home books that are a level lower than the ones he does at school - this has helped with his confidence as he can get through them quicker.

I spoke again to the school today about my DS and his writing and one suggestion was to right notes to each other, so I wrote him a Post-in note (the the shape of a speach bubble) asking "Have you had a good day?" I told him he could write me a note for me to read when I got in. I was expecting "yes" as a reply but I got a whole post-it note saying "Have you had a nice time today at Rambos" (Rainbows)
The best bit is because the post-it note was small the writing was 100% neater and smaller than his usual. I am chuffed

my DS was similar a few months back (he is year 2 but a Jul baby so young for his year).

What works/worked well for him was putting the key words on cards and doing those when he didn't want to read - that way he is learning the words and then when he tackles books he see much more that he recognises and that gives him confidence.

You can download the key stage 1 key words and make your own cards, or ask the teacher if they have any to lend you.

I also have 2 4 years olds who are catching him up rapidly and seem to find it much easier.

And screaming - yes been there too !

by the way - we also took a break over the summer and he forgot most of what he knew before. BUT it did come back very quickly in the first few weeks of this term - so it was not really forgotten - just buried a bit deeper than is useful.

I understand your frustration all too well..

Could you tandem read home books with her? ( I think that is the right term!. You read most of it and let her read a bit to you. This worked for DD2 when she was going through a similar phase. We used Usborne Apple Tree farm books and ORT read at home books and even some normal ORT as DD2 does Ginn 360 at school.

I also use to ask her to read the odd word in a normal book - that I knew she could of course [grinn]

As somebody else posted - this term is the worst for tiredness. I also found with all my children that the jump between Reception and yr 1 was the hardest. This reaction to reading at home may be exagerated by tiredness and the other stresses of yr 1.

As far as other support goes I tend to concentrate on one thing a week. As an example provide support for "time" this week, numbers to 100 next week, number bonds the week after etc... I have found that the journey to and from school can be used quite effectively for supporting things like this as well

as the mother of a dd who struggled horribly with reading until last week (year 3!) can I just say in response to your post "There seems to be so much that I need to do with her at home: reading; letter formation; telling the time; numbers to 100; numbers that add up to 10"

concentrate on one thing at a time and tell the school this is what you are going to do . forget the time, is she in year 2? dd1 still has no idea (year 3) and it doesnt seem to be a problem.

Numbers to 100 and reading OR letter formation would be my advice - letter formation is a good one as writing properly helps their spellling and therefore reading esp if you have a kinesthetic learner like dd1.

i gave up the struggle in year 2 and hired a private tutor - she listened to her in a way she would never listen to me

I have Dt boys , summer born so the youngest in year2 and Dt2 reads painfully slow. He has a poor attention span and after about 8 pages he starts to make up words , looks too much at the pictures and there is frustration from both of us. He knows the words and isn?t bad at spellings but getting him to stay focussed is difficult. Its even harder because Dt1 is a brilliant reader. With Dt2 I have started to take ?hug? breaks after about 8 pages where we both take a moment for a break and have a cuddle. It seems to help and he can keep going for another while. Sometimes I give him a treat like a sweet after 8 pages.

Enid, I am interested in your tutoring story. I remember reading your posts in the past about your DD and have thought about extra tuition for Dt2. He is poor at maths , having had a good start in nursery school and reception . He has a reasonable practical knowledge but has difficulty doing it on paper. We both get frustrated and by the end of a session he can hardly add 1 and 1! He finds it difficult to listen to me and think he would do so much better if he had some 1 to 1 with someone else. He gets some extra help at school but its not much. If you don?t mind me asking how often did you do it and di you did it after school or at weekends. Don?t want to overload Dt2 as he is tired after school and homework is getting more and more. Got me on a bad day today as a lot of last nights maths homework was too much for him , he hardly got any last year and suddenly there is a lot more.

Sorry for the hijack TDONB, can sympathise with the tears. I feel so bad afterwards as he is a gorgeous sweet natured boy

These are the things I find helps:

1. Cut down length of time you expect her to read- go for quality not quantity. When they have done the bare minimum give them the choice of stopping.
2. Read in a different place- I have made jungle dens with very reluctant readers and read to the jungle animals outside. Read to pets.'That goldfish looks bored... read him a page etc.' Or teddies. Or uncomprehending babies to show them how clever you are.
3. Tandem read.
4. Encourage a bit of guessing. Use the illustrations to help- that's what they are there for.
5. Pick out one or two words per page before you turn over 'Show me the word that says 'elephant' 'How do you know it's that one?"
6. Stick spellings, special word, number bonds etc. on the back of cereal boxes to be stared at over breakfast.

stillaslowreader - what some brilliant ideas and hints.

She saw the tutor every week for about 6 months. Saturday mornings mostly but some after school. We had some work to do at home but this was when she was in year 2 so no homework. The tutor was brilliant and dd1 was keen to go as she wanted to do better in reading and the school didnt see a problem - tbh the school may have been right and if we had just left it and waited a year or so she would have 'naturally' caught up, but she and we were losing so much confidence it seemed like the right thing to do at the time.

Thanks Enid. Great that your DD is doing well. I know I that 7 or 8 can be a time when some mature and catch up so I am living in hope and I love hearing of stories where this has happened. Your DD sounded quite like my DT2 so I remember one of your posts from last year where you were concerned about dyslexia/dyspaxia etc. Hope you don?t mind me asking but has your DD caught up to the extent that you longer have concerns.

She has caught up amazingly well. It is as though a completely different person was hiding behind her and has now appeared

in a good way not a spooky way though

she was the last girl in her class to move off the reading scheme but now that has happened she has had a huge confidence boost. She is very conscientious and the plugging away we have both done over the last few years is finally paying off. I never gave up on her .

Thats just so lovely to hear Enid

Have a read of this page. I think it will help you:

www.aowm73.dsl.pipex.com/dyslexics/should_I_have.htm

Hey maverick! I just wanted to hijack a bit here and say thanks for your great advice a few months back. We took our very reluctant (dyslexic) reader for some synthetic phonics coaching after reading your posts and it has made a huge difference. We were only able to do it over the summer (had aboout 5 sessions) but his reading has come along in leaps and bounds. Thanks - oh and for those thinking about it if you get the right tutor it can really work!

That's really good to hear, nooka .
Well done to your son, too!

As you say, it's really important to find the right tutor -they need to use a high quality, SYNTHETIC PHONIC programme.

For advice on choosing a tutor -scroll down:
www.aowm73.dsl.pipex.com/dyslexics/should_I_options.htm