Do all kids put up with stuff like this?

[EmmaJW1976]

My DS1 is in Year 4 (is the youngest in class, would be in Year 3 if wasn't born really premature).

We were having a little chat tonight because he never tells me anything that's bothering him, never, I literally have to drag things out of him.

Anyway, he tells me his head hurt and I keep digging to find out why and a lad had punched the back of his head in the dinner line. He said he told the teacher but the lad denied it and then asked DS1 why he was making things up! I asked if he had done anything else and he said that in the line last week he spat down the back of his neck.

I asked what else he had done and he said nothing, he is okay with me most of the time. I asked if he was bothered and he said no. After a while he said 'well maybe I am a little upset'.

Now as DS1 never tells me anything, I am quite worried about this.

Do all lads put up with this or should I be telling teacher/lads mum/keeping an eye on it?

Any advice greatly appreciated!

Oh by the way, this lad in question was bullied himself about a year ago and wouldn't go to school but now he is really popular.

My DS1 is so little, naive and innocent, he would never retaliate.

Oh bless him! Our year 4s certainly do behave like this - it doesn't sound too unusual - but I would also be mentioning it to his teacher. Our class teacher is brilliant at nipping problems in the bud. In the past I have tried speaking with the other parents, but you get mixed reactions - some supportive, some decidedly not. It is a school matter, give them the chance to deal with it.

My ds doesn't tell me much too, but in the end has always appreciated how adults can make life easier for him. It would be good for your ds to know that you will back him up - and to see that problems can be resolved simply with someone sensible/sensitive dealing with them.

Best of luck.

Thanks NQGU.

I just know it must have bothered him for him to even mention it to me.

A while ago he had a problem with a little lad who kept saying 'are you my friend?' repeatedly over and over and asking him questions a million times a day. I spoke to the mum then as I knew she would help and although he still is on at my DS1 all the time, DS1 has learnt to just smile and say yes and then carry on with what he's doing.

We have parents evening next week, I think I will just ask the teacher to keep an eye.

That would really upset me and I would be quite tempted to have a personal word with the boy in question but I suppose that would be the wrong move on lots of levels.

Definately bring it up at parents evening though.

That's it binkle, I would love to say something but I don't want to make things worse for him.

If I had actually seen him do it then I would definitely have said something at the time.

Mum is in the school 'clique' so I don't really fancy approaching her either although obviously I would if necessary.......

I wouldn't wait until parents evening, if it were me - especially since it is the second incident. I'd ask for a quiet word after school - then you can prevent it escalating, if it is going to and on parents evening you can focus on talking about his work.

Best of luck.

I wouldn't wait until parents evening, if it were me - especially since it is the second incident. I'd ask for a quiet word after school - then you can prevent it escalating, if it is going to and on parents evening you can focus on talking about his work.

Best of luck.

I'd speak to the classteacher asap.

And definitely don't raise it with the boy or his parents.

Yeah I think you are right. I will speak to her on Wednesday (my mum picks him up tomorrow).

Speak to the teacher. My ds had similar things happening to him. He's in a Yr3/4 class. His teacher was very quick to put a stop to it and ds was much happier as a result.