Should my summer born boy start school a year later?

[PaleGreenAndBrightOrange]

Hi all,

DS is a June boy. I know that summer boys have some poorer outcomes than their peers born at other times of year and that they never really catch up. I also know there are lots of exceptions and not all summer babies struggle. I was an august baby and did not struggle at school.

But another thread has really made me think about this for the first time. I have no reason to think that DS is going to struggle at school, but I have noticed that his friends in his school year born in sept/oct are bigger, more physically well developed, better at drawing etc (as you’d expect, with them being nearly 4 years old to his nearly 3) and I’m wondering if I should consider holding him back. I’m worried he might decide he’s bad at school because he finds things harder than his peers. I know the impact that low educational self esteem has on behaviour, attainment and future quality of life.

I honestly have no clue if he’s average, above or below normal development for his age which would help inform me. If I had to guess I’d say he seems bright, but I don’t really have a reference point. The only other thing is that nursery have commented that his speech is well developed for his age. Other than that, no idea.

What are your experiences/opinions on this?

Thanks!

I have a summer born boy, now a teen. I think I would only consider it for a July or August birthday with a delay in at least one area, or earlier with significant delays. DS struggled with speech in his first year of school, but had caught up by year 1 when he was able to access speech therapy. He was fine starting his correct year though, I think he would have made less progress with his speech if he had spent the year in Nursery.

Our system is different in Scotland so my January born daughter was in the same position and started school last august. Ideologically we always planned to keep her back, agree with Nordic approaches that believe in kids starting school much later than we do. However, DD is unusually tall, and has always been very verbal. She had a peer group in nursery who were all going up and it just didn’t feel right keeping her back. She would’ve towered over her peers a year later.

She’s coped well academically, is at the upper end of ability in the class and I’ve no worries there. But I worry about the emotional and social immaturity compared to some. She gets very upset about friendship things that some of the older ones seem more able to shrug off. I sometimes wonder if we made the right decision. But it wasn’t clear cut. I think if you feel your son would be happy with another year in nursery then it would not do him any harm. Although I’m now thinking of a friend who has kept her boy back, but has done a lot of home schooling type work with him. He can read and write as well if not better than my DD, so I do wonder if he will be really bored and out of place when he starts school. Good luck with your decision!

My experience is thats you need to look at the whole child to make the decision - all the different areas like how they learn, how they communicate and interact, self care physical skills, personality. My august boy found that the academic side was harder for him - phonics and reading in particular (he failed the phonics test). I got quite stressed about it, but luckily his personality was not to mind being last and he naturally was good at keep trying with enthusiasm. Another personality might have lost confidence and given up. In other areas my son was tall for his age so he didnt look small and if id kept him back he'd have been a giant . He found cutting and writing harder to begin with but his social skillls like sharing and understanding how people feel were very good. He could dress himself and sit and pay attention really well too.
He is in secondary now and there isnt really a gap academically for him now and actually things not being easy academically at the start really taught him resilience in how to learn. Some of the older children who found thing easier really struggled when they hit their first hurdle at an older age. im glad i didnt keep him back but i can see how other children might benefit a lot, especially if the social skills are not so good and they get discouraged by not being in the same reading band as peers for example.

I started a thread about this a while back. My grandson (I parent him) is late July - now nearing the end of Y1. His speech was very well developed from a young age and all the indicators from his childcare and nursery settings was that he was ahead in practically all areas. Advanced but not off the scale mumsnet style. He was comfortably reading CVC words at 3.5 years but then I am a primary teacher and naturally do this sort of stuff with him.
TBH reception was a bit of a nightmare (covid aside). A very traditional teacher in a very traditional school where they sat down doing worksheets for the most of the day. DGS hated it, wasn't ready for writing and couldn't sit still on the carpet etc. He made practically no progress with his reading and I seriously regretted not deferring him.
Fast forward to the end of Y1. He is now beginning to achieve his potential. One of the stronger readers and in the top group for maths (his aptitude for maths was only noticed when he did well on a standardised assessment test and literally catapulted him from the bottom group to the top group overnight - I am specialist maths teacher and told them in the first term he had an aptitude for maths but because he struggled to record anything akin to a recognisable number on a piece of paper, he was consigned to the bottom group). He's still wiggly on the carpet and still struggles a bit with writing but I can see things coming together for him now. He is happy at school now and just this week has started talking about school and what he has been doing. I think be the end of Y2, he will no longer stand out as being 'young in the year'. I no longer regret the decision not to defer.

Overall this is a good option, the more time they get to play before school the better, and being older at the end of school is also better as they are more mature when making choices. They get an extra year of development time before GCSEs, A-levels and University.

For me it isn't about 'do I need to' so much as 'why would I send my child earlier than necessary'.

I have a June ds and an August ds...
Never crossed my mind to hold them back.. August ds was sometimes asleep when I picked him up but soon managed a whole day!
June ds absolutely excelled..

My late summer born dd is in year3 and good I’m noticing the difference in emotional maturity between her and her older peers. She looks and seems so much younger despite being very academically capable.
In retrospect I think I might have deferred a year, I’m dreading her starting high school in 3 years as a tiny only just 11 year old

Have t read other replies, sorry, but my June born boy started in reception with everyone else and was, and still is (about to turn 13) fine. If you hold him back he doesn't get to start in reception does he? He starts in year 1 when everyone else has done a year of school. Honestly, teachers are well trained professionals, they know how to cater to a wide range of needs and abilities.

My best friend has a July boy, also nearly 13, and she laughs now at how she thought he wouldn't cope with school.

I would 100% start him and see how it goes. If he really can't cope (I'm sure he will though) you could always look at him doing half days.

I have a June and August sons and never ever thought to held them back even though my eldest had speech problems. Come year 1 he caught up and now in year 5 is doing well. Don't understand why people always want to hold back summer children if there isn't any serious problems. Send your child to school as normal.

No, there will be many other summer borns in his class. Reception is very play based and it’s amazing how much they learn in that year. If he has a delay of some sort then maybe, but I do think there is a lot to be said for being in with the kids you were meant to be. He might have to go straight into year 1 next year, or he’ll be much older and more grown up than those in his class if he starts in reception. I have a may born and lots of his friends are June born. They change soooo much between now and school-start!

Never crossed my mind to hold them back It is not holding them back, it is giving them an extra year's advantage at the end!

Worth bearing in mind that while you have a right to defer, it is the admission authority that decides whether he can then start in reception or in year 1. That loss of reception year could be quite significant.

A very traditional teacher in a very traditional school where they sat down doing worksheets for the most of the day. DGS hated it, wasn't ready for writing and couldn't sit still on the carpet etc. He made practically no progress with his reading and I seriously regretted not deferring him.

Agree with @Oilyvoir about the impact of style of school my younger DS (late May) went to the most boring infant school. So old fashioned and dull. It really didn't suit him at all. But that wasn't because he was young in the year, it was just a crappy early years environment. Look for a school that really believes in a play based learning environment in reception and as much as possible in year 1.

By the way one of those friends never even did a day of nursery and he was fine. Another friend put her son into school VERY gradually, he was doing half days until about Christmas! These kids are all at different schools. Schools are pretty accommodating and communicative IME.

@GingerAndTheBiscuits

Worth bearing in mind that while you have a right to defer, it is the admission authority that decides whether he can then start in reception or in year 1. That loss of reception year could be quite significant.

I thought now you can request? In my area I have never heard of anyone being forced into Yr1.

Only if they can start in reception, which they may not be able to do. Also while the gap may seem big now, I promise you at 12/13/14 you won't know who's born in October and who's born in June!

Nope, it’s the admission authority’s decision about which year they would then go into. They can’t refuse to let you defer, they can say no to starting in reception. There are lots of things they’re supposed to take account of in making the decision but it’s not an automatic right.

Oh sorry was commenting on @picturesandpickles post above

The thing is someone has to be the youngest. I had a very late August born boy. But he wasn’t prem etc. He did lag behind a bit in nursery /reception but that may have been his personality as well (basically lazy)
But once he got into upper ks1/juniors he was holding his own or ahead of his peers.
The worse thing for him wasn’t being able to drink on A levels result day as he wasn’t 18.

At our school they have yr class and y1 class and y1 and y2. Its a small school my dd whom struggled with reading and writing etc stayed in the yr class and was a mixed yr and y1 class. She has done amazing. Reception is play anyways. Y1 is hard work. But she has learnt it differently and she's done amazing

Hello OP, really feel for you because it's one of those things where irs really hard to know what's best.

My youngest is a boy.... He should have been a sept baby but came early so very late Aug. As already had children at school I spoke to the Early years lead who had been teaching that age for 20 years plus about what was best choice...

I think it depends on the child... Emotionally and academically as well as the school ethos and expectations for reception.

My son was on track for his age.. Ie beind average in class but where expected to be at age... He came on well each summer term. He caught up properly in all areas by start of juniors.he was never made aware of issues.

My sons friend is a late July baby... Struggled far more at a school that didn't account for age, didn't see children come on at different rates, far pusher school...
She therefore kept 2nd child back a year but now says he probably didn't need it.

One added complication she hadn't considered is that sport clubs often have to put them in the year based on their birthday... So will play football, cricket, rugby with the year should be in on birth date... Rather than year friends are in. Less of issue with things like scouting.

Mixed age classes are also great for those at either end of year... My son enjoys mixed class yr1/2 as not youngest and middle of group but pulled out for top maths which he excels at

We deferred our august born boy and it was the best decision we made, he’s coming to the end of year 1. When he started reception at just turned 5, he was ready, but he was not ready a year earlier.

There is a Facebook group called Flexible Admissions for Summerborn Children that are really knowledgable and helpful.

@Oilyvoir wow you could have described my late July-born ds. He started reception this year, so it's encouraging to hear that your dgs is now doing well. Fills me with hope.

So many really interesting and informed replies - thank you. I am going to think really carefully and make a decision as late as possible so I can see how he comes on. I’m guessing I have to apply as normal by December and note somewhere on the form that I’m applying to defer... can anyone confirm? Or do I need to make a separate type of application?

Thanks so much everyone