My DC (Y5) has fallen behind…

[PerplexedPerplexity]

How do I source a tutor, what do I look for in a tutor? DC is 9 years old.
I am worried that despite years of mentioning my concerns to the teacher, apart from getting DC’s reading to an acceptable level, nothing else has been done.

My DC struggles with maths too. Takes a very very long time completing any activities/homework which even then have many mistakes.

I really want to help, but do not know how.

First I would speak to the teacher properly, maybe request a meeting if that's possible, and find out more details about his ability.
Is he really that behind that he definitely need a tutor, or can it be remedied by doing some work with you at home every day?
My dc's primary school had subscription to the maths and reading website that children had free access to as well as teacher setting homework. Do they have something like that you can help your dc with?

Thanks for your reply.
DC has access to maths website, but seems to ‘forget’ times tables all the time.we have to keep repeating a lot.
The reading is ok now as school helped and I also get books for him that he enjoys reading.
Writing is terrible.
Comprehension is not great.
He thinks for so long before answering a question.
A 5 minute piece of work takes easily an hour and even then it’s quite basic.
DC does however have a great vivid imagination and is great fun. I am just worried that he is falling behind with his peers and I think he sees that too.

I would join a Facebook home Ed group as they use lots of tutors. Ask for help there.

Has he been tested for dyslexia? I would push hard for that the basis of what you have written. If you can go private then do so quickly. What you describe rings a lot of bells for me as my daughter is mildly dyslexic. Some early interventions and support can make a huge difference. Silly stuff in some cases. They had to write the question down from the board and then the answers. She'd spend the whole time just on the questions as it's hard to look from one to another and get it down without losing the thread. So she gets a handout or it's out on a laptop in front of her.

Does he love time with an iPad (like most kids)? Hit the Button is a great app for times tables. You can focus on specific groups and then ramp up to combinations (even / odd numbers) and so on. It's a game. TT Rockstars and Mathletics are other apps used by schools.

Reading and comprehension. A kindle helped as you can make the font bigger instantly. Large print books can get expensive but your library should have some. Harry Potter in large print was a turning point in her reading. She was utterly hooked and never looked back.

Repetitive, learning by rote activities are often very hard for dyslexics. Short term memory issue. Same with instructions.

Go upstairs, make your bed, wash teeth, get your sports gear and come back down. Far too many instructions.

Thank you for replying @TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams
Will getting tested better equip the school to help my DC?

Will my DC be able to catch up?
In his reports, he has never ‘met’ targets except for in reading.
I really don’t think it’s because he is incapable, but there seems to be a ‘block’ and I just can’t figure what it is.

With writing, I remember he never used to get beyond 2 lines and teacher’s comments always said that he should have written much more in 30 minutes or so.

In your first post you said he has fallen behind, but later on you say he’s always been behind the expected standard, except in reading, where he’s recently been assessed as meeting the standard (which is great – well done to him and you and his school for that great progress!) So, it sounds as though this is a general pattern throughout school, rather than a new thing (so it’s not specifically down to the impact of the Covid pandemic, for example).

I have lots of questions (not necessarily questions you need to answer on here, but things you might want to think about).

Has he been at the same school since Reception? Have you had a look at his school reports over the years, to look for trends in terms of what specific things he has found difficult or any approaches that were helpful? Did any previous teachers express concerns or suggest ways to help him to catch up? Did previous interventions work?

Can you have a chat to your DS to find out a bit more about what he finds hard, and why. For example, with his writing, does his mind wander and he loses focus? Does he have lots of great ideas for what to write, but struggle to get those thoughts down on paper? Can he ‘tell’ you the answer or the story coherently? Does his hand hurt when he writes?

How is his co-ordination, generally? Does he find it easy to sit up straight and still, or is he wiggly?

How is his spelling?

Does he have siblings? How are they getting on at school? Do you or his father have any difficulties in any of these areas?

I think you could do a bit of ‘homework’ yourself, to work back through reports and comments from previous teachers (I make notes from each parents’ evening so I can refer to them). You could make a list from all of that, and from any other observations you have.

Then, as rogue said, request a meeting or call with his teacher.

State schools have to meet the needs of SEN children out of their existing budget as I understand it. When a child has a formal statement of needs they are legally obliged to find the money. Dreadful system especially for very small schools. I regularly see threads where schools will drag their feet and not put forward kids for testing proactively as a result. This is where the famous pointy elbowed middle class parents who will nag and nag will work the system until their kids get what they need.
You could spend the whole of Yr6 waiting for a state assessment. But better to have it before he starts secondary as you can then legally insist on help there.
My recommendation would be to start the wheels in motion with the school - there are basic tests they can do themselves for starters and if funds allow get a private test done. At least then you know what you are dealing with.
Made by Dyslexia is a useful group on Facebook

www.bdadyslexia.org.uk

How is he in the classroom? Does he speak out or put up his hand if he doesn’t understand? In year 5 they do ramp up the amount of writing they need to do. My son struggles with writing and won’t speak in class. His year 4 teachers said he was being lazy (or words to that effect) and refusing to talk to them but he was too embarrassed to ask for help. He is currently being assessed for selective mutism. This year he goes out of the classroom to work in a small group and it’s really helped him.

I will try to answer the questions @LetItGoToRuin

Yes, it is correct that he has always been behind.
I queried this a number of times but I felt it got dismissed as DC not being interested and me not supporting with homework.

Has he been at the same school since Reception?
Yes

Have you had a look at his school reports over the years, to look for trends in terms of what specific things he has found difficult or any approaches that were helpful?

He struggled with everything to begin with. When I queried more, they put him in extra spelling sessions which helped reading a lot.

Did any previous teachers express concerns or suggest ways to help him to catch up? Did previous interventions work?

No teachers expressed concern until I did at every parents evening. I told them DC doesn’t seem interested in reading or homework and takes a long time to complete tasks.The reading interventions worked. I still have concerns with maths and don’t know what can be offered.

Can you have a chat to your DS to find out a bit more about what he finds hard, and why. For example, with his writing, does his mind wander and he loses focus?

He tells me he enjoys geography (loves maps and exploring) and art (not good art work, messy, but imaginative) but finds english and maths ‘boring’. He has great imagination but finds it difficult yo write it out. Yet, he creates these amazing little books with really funny anecdotes and stories. Writing is messy though.

Does he have lots of great ideas for what to write, but struggle to get those thoughts down on paper?

Yes and yes

Can he ‘tell’ you the answer or the story coherently? Does his hand hurt when he writes?

Not coherently, but he tries.
Yes his hand hurts

How is his co-ordination, generally?

Not great. Not good balance either.

Does he find it easy to sit up straight and still, or is he wiggly?

Can sit up straight, yes. Not too wiggly.

How is his spelling?
Improved a lot after intervention, but not great.

Does he have siblings?
*How are they getting on at school?

Siblings (younger and older) are bright and motivated. He really feels it but pretends it doesn't bother him. For example, he will ask if ‘address is spelt with one or double d and his younger sibling age 6 will give the answer. Siblings are really close and caring with one another. He has been trying extra hard with maths but ‘forgets’ time tables all the time.

Do you or his father have any difficulties in any of these areas?
No

DC is absolutely loves Ancient Egyptian history and loves looking at pictures and reads short extracts. He wants to go to Egypt to see all the sites (has been saying that since age 6) but this is not something we will ever be able to afford so I try to show him virtual tours online which he loves.

I feel that I am failing him

Hi Perplexed - sorry for the delay. I'm once again struck by how lovely your DS sounds, with his enthusiasm for history and art and making his little books.

I am only a parent and therefore no expert, but seeing as he's the only one in the family who is struggling with the traditional 'three Rs' I do think you're justified in pushing his teacher a bit more, and, if you can afford it, getting some private assessments to speed things along.

I'm struck by the conflict between his enthusiasm for history, and his lack of engagement with writing and maths. I wouldn't be surprised if further testing showed that he's brighter than he is displaying in class, and that there is therefore something there, whether it's dyslexia or something else.

He sounds just like my son who is in Y4. It’s heartbreaking as he tries so hard but really struggle.

Have you had your son's eye tested? As a child I was a voracious reader and could learn maths verbally, but was an atrocious speller and severely struggled with maths.

Turned out my vision was terrible, I didn't realise that teachers wrote on the board! After getting glasses and 6 months of one on one tutoring, I was at the top of the classes for spelling and maths.

Any ADD concerns? A close friend of mine has a child with ADD with similar challenged and is using diet and exercise to help manage the symptoms rather than medication, and it's working. A run every morning before school, and after school a walk which they run through spelling and times tables. For homework they work in 15 minute sprints with a timer so her son can see how long he needs to sit for, before having a short break.

Have you looked at dyspraxia?

My DD1 has dyspraxia:

• poor motor skills
• poor working memory (eg times tables)
• poor organisation (doesn't know where to start when writing things down, work lacks detail)
• other tells sensitivity to texture / taste

When she was y5 (and undiagnosed) we found the following helped: she dictated homework paragraphs, I wrote them down, she copied them out. This decoupled the thinking from the writing.

Later at secondary she used a laptop for essay based subjects.

With maths
a) mental maths has continued to be poor
b) lots and lots of practice with written maths paid off eventually. We did maths more or less daily every summer from y4 onwards all the way to GCSEs. Things just took longer to get into long term memory.

(Oh & she eventually passed 8 GCSEs with Bs&Cs. In fact she narrowly missed an A for her maths.)