how much help do you give your dcs at home, with homework etc?

[paddingtonbear1]

dd started reception in sept. she was 4 in july,and is quite young for her age. her school is a high achieving state one and she's struggling a bit. she likes her reading books (kipper ones with just pictures so far) and knows some letter sounds, but really struggles with tricky words and writing. we've tried to teach her the words but she doesn't get it, maybe we are doing it wrong? she now has a pile of them, i think the teacher has just given new ones as well as the old! when it comes to writing she says she's not very good and wouldn't try and finish her number 8s last week. This week she has to write a line of 9s and draw 9 dogs in a small box! there is no chance. we try and encourage her but her confidence is getting lower and lower. atm she still prefers playing,her imagination is very good! not sure how best to help!

what on earth is she doing homework for in reception?????????? She's only 4 ffs, she should be playing at home - actually she should be playing at school too (sorry, that's directed at the school, not you)

My dd is just 5, so nearly a year older than your dd - at her school they have no homework at all until Y2 and even then it's really low-key and relaxed

Reading and writing will 'click' when she's ready, which might not be until well into Y1 - and trying to force it into her before then will be completely counter-productive.

The best way to help is to completely take any pressure off and just keep reading fun - read loads of books to her, encourage her to take an interest in books and don't push her to read herself until she's ready. Loads of kids don't learn to read until they're 6 but by the time they're 8 their reading age is way ahead of their chronological age, even if they were 'behind' in reception

fwiw, our school's philosophy is to go at each individual child's pace and to follow the child's lead = and it's just got an outstanding ofsted as a result

Of I was you I would go in and talk to her teacher

I would say exactly what you've said here,

PLease remember there is a huge whole year between the children in reception classes.

Your expectations for your dd are too high.

She will get diheartenened if you expect too much from her.

The teacher needs to know thatwhat you're feeling and cut back on the homework imo.

For reading, their task is to read to an adult, therefore you have to be involved.

For other stuff, let them get on with it, with appropriate praise and encouragement.

I would refuse to let her do it. She is 4 - she shouldn't be doing homework or getting upset about schoolwork at this age.

I would let her do any bits that she wanted to do and leave the rest. Sit together to look at it and let her decide what she wants to do, if anything.
I wouldn't force her to do anything and I would talk it over with the teacher explaining my reasons why.
Let her play and develop her imagination if that's what is important to her at the moment. There is plenty of time for writing later. As for reading, keep reading to her and let her see how interesting reading is. She will eventually want to do it herself. You are not doing anything wrong. It just sounds as though she's not ready for it yet. It will come with time.
As someone else has said, 4 is too young to be worrying about homework (or schoolwork).

When dd was in reception she would get a reading book and the odd bit of handwriting practice. She got some very simple maths as she worked in a higher year group for that so got their homework.

But if she ever said she didn't want to do the homework we just didn;t do it and the teacher back us on that decision. If kids are being forced to do homework in reception it is ,imo, just storing up a lot of trouble further down the line.

My DS is in Year 1. He wasn't interested in reading or writing for most of reception. I didn't push, I read to him every night, pointed at words, that sort of thing. Now in Year 1 he is off like a rocket. Reading has come on a bundle in the last few weeks especially.

IMO HW should be banned from reception BUT they do say it's just reinforced what they do in school and it's a bit of practice. If your child doesn't enjoy I wouldn't force it but I would read her a story or something instead.

thanks everyone for your replies! dd is my only child and I admit I got a bit of a surprise when she started school and got all this homework. I thought it would be a bit like pre-school but a bit more structured. her school seems good overall and she generally likes it, but they do seem to start formal learning quite quickly and expect quite a lot of the children.Last week dd didn't finish her numbers and we didn't try and make her, but the teacher wrote 'please finish this' on that page this week. dd isn't keen and I'm not going to make her do it. she's done well with her letters which we gave a lot of praise for, and she loves her books so we'll encourage that.I think you are right, I need to have another word with her teacher and say I'm not going to make dd finish stuff if it makes her upset. she is only 4 after all!

Good for you Paddingtonbear

Hurray for Paddingtonbear!

More power to you and everyone else who stands up against the childhood stealers!