Teacher has nothing positive to say

[mumof32015]

My son is in reception at a school I have been a parent of for many years. At his first parents evening online, I was surprised that the teacher couldn't say anything positive about my child. The only positive thing she had to say was that he had settled in well to school. The rest was that he doesn't blend his words when reading, he always gives a blank look when he is asked to do something, he is too quiet and has made the wrong choice of friends because he lacks confidence but the friends he has are confident. I decided to just forget about it, I know that my son is very shy and I felt he was progressing well. During lockdown I did a lot of phonics work and he finally got the hang of blending and was confidently reading simple books. He also took an amazing interest in Maths, and started to confidently count beyond 100, he also started counting in 2's, 5's and 10's he started adding up and taking away. I was so proud of how far he had progressed. Then he went back to school, and I wanted to know how he had settled back into learning at school. Again I didn't get one positive remark. All I was told was he constantly talks about minecraft. Yes, I let him play minecraft and I don't really see the problem, because his favourite thing to do is build number blocks up to 100 in colour co-ordination. I find it quite amazing that a child of his age can do that. I explained to the teacher that this was what he did and she told me I should buy lego instead. I felt she implied that all I do is let him play video games all day, which is far from the truth. We have strict limits on how much he can play on a device. The rest of the time he is out playing in the garden, drawing or going to the park. Again I thought I would just let it go, and forget about it because at home he was still doing well. Then this week came and she told me that in the week he said playing minecraft makes him happy, and he finds some of the work at school boring. She said she told him it's not boring it's just too difficult for him, and she then told me I need to buy more things like lego and board games to stop him playing minecraft. It's really put my back up, because we have plenty of other educational games that he enjoys playing. I feel I have a good balance. But what has really annoyed me is the statement of the work being too hard for him, I asked my son if he felt it was hard and he said the opposite. He especially said the maths is easy and boring. My daughter left this school for grammar school, and in family conversation my daughter told me she was bored all the way through primary school because she felt the work was too easy. This particular teacher told me my daughter was lazy also and that if she carried on the way she was she would fall behind her peers. I just don't know what to do about it? I am thinking of waiting for his end of year report and if that is very negative then I am contemplating talking with the head teacher. Do you think that would be unreasonable? I just don't want him to be labelled as lazy like my daughter was.

I’m sorry that the teacher is coming out with these comments.

I let my 3 year old play Switch games. He talks about Super Mario loads, but he’s also playing running games being Mario, drawing characters etc at home but I bet it sounds like we just let him play video games all day. I’d feel pretty annoyed if a teacher made a big thing of this and then didn’t accept my 30 mins max explanation.

I also get your concern at how your really young child is being dismissed. For most of the points mentioned there’s a positive spin, and if you think your child is making progress they probably are!

Do they have this same teacher next year? If not, I’d probably send the head my concerns once the term is done. It sounds like they have a problem giving positives and constructive criticism, and maybe they need to review how they run parents evenings. I don’t mind hearing a ‘negative’, but I want to hear how THEY are trying to work on it and also what WE can do at home (as well as some positives to balance out the negatives!).

I was also marked as that lazy child in primary school - my mum was called in to the head teacher to talk about it. So the next day instead of doing the three pages of maths in my work book that we were supposed to spend an hour a day doing, I did maths for the full hour and did the entire workbook, thinking she would be pleased. Turns out she was really cross - the workbooks were supposed to last a full term not an hour and it meant she needed to find other things for me to do. ANd it did have the effect of showing that I wasn’t lazy - I could do things and was unchallenged so had become very drifty in class as I didn’t need to listen to get byso would daydream instead as I had nothing else to do...

I would suggest finding some more advanced worksheets online (especially if they are mine craft ones!) that are the right level for your ds. Get him to do them, time him so you know that they represent eg 10 or 20 minutes of work, then ask to have a chat with her, say that you are worried about your son being left to fester, bored and unchallenged, and that this is the sort of thing he can happily do on his own in a normal homework time, that the stuff being sent home was only taking a minute or two, so please can she ensure that your dc is given extension work to ensure that he isn’t left to languish like your dd was.

I wouldn’t wait for the end of the year - I’d do it now as that’s half a term of education your ds is missing out on. If she doesn’t do anything then take it to the headstone rather than later.

And shame on her for not understanding that minecraft can be a fantastic educational resource for all sorts of subjects. Both dc used it quite a bit for lots of things in primary school, encouraged by geeky teachers who understood how inspiring it could be for kids!

Regardless of how a child is progression it is absolutely awful to have comments from a teacher than are only negative. None, but no one, is motivated by constant criticism.

Did she tell him the work was too hard for him? That seems like an awful thing to say to a child. All the teachers I know would say something like “that’s something we need to keep practicing , or we know we need to practise that again”....and also give positive feedback.

I don't know what to say, OP, she sounds awful What do other parents say?

After your experience with your DD, why are you still at this school? You have had one child criticised and you cannot surely be surprised your son is having a similar experience. I would seek out another school. This one clearly doesn’t assess the progress children make or have any idea about how well they are working. You should have had good reports about your DD. You didn’t seem to realise she was bright but bored. Don’t subject your DS to the same mediocrity. Move schools ASAP.

@PresentingPercy I have been seriously thinking about moving him, especially as he has the same teacher next year. The school has been struggling recently because the intake has gone down considerably each year, so they have just brought in a new headteacher. Me and DH are talking about going in to tell the new head about the issues our DD had, and how we are concerned that the same is about to happen again. This new head is an experienced SENCO, something I know the school had been lacking in.

I had a similar experience to your son and pp in school. Used to race through work (making silly mistakes but wanted to get it over as fast as possible) and read my book for the remainder of the time we had to do a task. And if the teacher told me to put my book away I would just switch off my hearing aid without looking up from the book and ignore her. She hated me 😆
Could you look at getting your son moved up a grade? Then he'll have a different teacher too, and next year wouldn't have this teacher either. And you won't have to change schools.

Please do not get him moved up out of his cohort. He probably does not need anything extra except good quality teaching. I do not really see what good a SENCO head is if your DC just needs great teaching. It is the ability of the head to get rid of dead wood and ensure DC have the best teaching that’s the question. Falling numbers tell you everything. No one has confidence in the school. SEN children will always be a minority so if your DC are bright, they need teaching to match their needs. Moving up a year without the foundations being secure is pointless and certainly rarely entertained in a state school. I have seen Cambridge mathematicians taught in their correct cohort but the teachers really must know how to teach very bright DC (who also have needs). Lots of extra extension work is what they need..

When you see a teacher, ask more searching questions. Such as: How has he met his targets? There are loads of them. Look at the curriculum: ask for details about how different aspects are taught. How is pro grass and attainment assessed? What will they do if he needs a bit more help? How can you help?

I would, in all honesty, gets away from the Minecraft references. The teacher will take inferences from this. Instead, talk about books, maths puzzles and how you can help him progress in ways other than online learning. My main recommendation is to be fully aware of the curriculum and do things at home to complement it. So weights, measures, length, area, shapes, poetry, rhymes, read more challenging books to him, paired reading etc. Even going out and adding to general knowledge all helps.

I would start looking for another school now, this does not stop you from addressing the situation at his school anyway by meeting with a head or deputy head, someone higher up than your teacher.
have you seen the actual school books ?
we do not see our children's books at the moment at all. but if you can access them and present in comparison what he is able to do at home it may be helpful (and objective).
your teacher sounds rather incompetent and I would not want to put up with her another year. I think conversations need to takes place at a different level, while you seriously consider other school options.
Good luck !

Can you arrange to have a meeting with the head expressing your concerns?

I used to be a teacher and met teachers like this who seemed to seems to label kids from the get go. Those types of teachers are the lazy ones imo and don't have what it takes to make a lasting difference to kids from kids to a variety of backgrounds.

Sometimes a lack of engagement is mistaken of laziness but if his marks are good the results should speak for themselves. Have you seen any of his classroom work? Lastly I was a shy child and still remember my primary teacher that helped me grow more confident fondly today. I certainly wouldn't put up with this.

@Lizzie523 yes, I have decided I am going to talk to the head and see what can be sorted. I haven't seen any of his class work and I have asked her how he is doing academically and all she focuses on is how lazy he is. I have asked her a few times now if she has asked him about numbers, I have asked her to ask him to show her how he can do addition and subtraction and every time she just says no he's not forthcoming with it. It just makes me feel so downhearted. I feel if he could just have some one to one time with someone then they would get the best out of him.

I don’t your DS showing there’s her anything is the point. Look at the curriculum and ask for assessment on whether he’s meeting the requirements. Just being fobbed off isn’t a professional approach to teaching. She must be assessing what he can do. That should be the praise element. Then there’s the bits he needs to improve. That’s where you can help.

What curriculum documents have been shared with parents? What maths are they doing? Possibly not books to look at in yr but the teacher must know what he can do well! Or is she just getting away with no assessment at all?!

This would be the basic questions to ask the head.

My DS had a teacher like this. I really tried to listen to what she had to say and I tried to look at my son through a critical lens even though she was unable to link her comments to the curriculum. I didn't want to be the parent who thinks their child is perfect etc.

The bottom line was she didn't like my son and wasn't good enough at her job to hide it. I would never have wished for circumstances but it was a relief for DS and I when school closed last March and I home educated him. I would have struggled on for the rest of the year with an unhappy DS otherwise. He's never had an issue before or since.

How does your son feel about it all? My son was so unhappy in this teacher's class. I couldn't even see just how down he was until he was out of the environment. He must be the only child with mental health that improved during the first lockdown.

@PresentingPercy

I don’t your DS showing there’s her anything is the point. Look at the curriculum and ask for assessment on whether he’s meeting the requirements. Just being fobbed off isn’t a professional approach to teaching. She must be assessing what he can do. That should be the praise element. Then there’s the bits he needs to improve. That’s where you can help.

What curriculum documents have been shared with parents? What maths are they doing? Possibly not books to look at in yr but the teacher must know what he can do well! Or is she just getting away with no assessment at all?!

This would be the basic questions to ask the head.

This is great advice. I asked for this rather than the vague 'he does this, he doesn't do that' and she simply couldn't provide it. It cemented my view that it was a personality clash.

@PresentingPercy I asked him last night what he does for Maths and he said they watch a video and then point at numbers on a board. During lockdown I actually gave up on doing the maths that was provided because it was just so simple. I think it was the time away from school that has helped him progress to be honest, but obviously that's my unprofessional opinion and I know I made plenty of mistakes trying to help him, but he just seemed to come along so quickly. He is so much like my DD, however she had an excellent Reception teacher who saw her potential, and she would give her extra work that kept her focus. Unfortunately that teacher is no longer there, if she was she would have really helped my DS.

@LemonCake79 yes I know what you mean, I know he's not perfect at all, but I know this teacher didn't like my DD at all and I now get the impression she doesn't like my DS for very similar reasons as DD.
Over lockdown I must admit things did improve in his behaviour and how he was in himself. Before the Xmas holidays I was beginning to think he was behind his peers, but I soon realised he wasn't. I know for some it was a really hard time but for my DS it was actually a blessing to have him out of school for that half term.

I found that through my 3 kids schooling i came across the odd teacher with a similar attitude , the majority were fine , interesting , interested , good at their jobs.
But even though i knew my kids were doing ok it still leaves a hint of doubt when you get negative feedback from a teacher, you are the one that knows your child best and it sounds like you do a lot to help your child.
I have never made a fuss or been one of those parents ! but i don't think i would let my child spend another year with a teacher who perhaps isn't that keen on them.
Just to add as time moves on you will look back and think how narrow-minded teacher was as you watch your child soar .

I agree with @tsmainsqueeze. My DS went back to school in June because he was in yr1 but the way it worked with bubbles meant he got a new teacher who was great with him and really helped him to learn to love school again. His yr2 teachers are the same.

Comparing him to the child he was back in March 2020 I'd be very wary of letting him carry on with a teacher in the circumstances you describe. Hopefully the head will be able to help.

Many apologies for the typos earlier! Not sure my brain was in gear.

When you see the head, ask to see the YR curriculum. Good schools share this at the start of the year anyway. (And indeed every year!) What are they covering in the main topics? Watching a video is not acceptable for teaching maths. How is the class work differentiated? How does the teacher know what each dc has mastered and plan work for them accordingly? This is assessment and good teaching.

Does the head monitor teaching in the classrooms? How does she/he know how good teaching is or is not? Has she had time to evaluate this? What does the school see as the most important things to improve? What do their KS1 assessments look like? If this is the poor start dc get, Y1 and Y2 teachers have a lot of catching up to do. I really would try and move and ask any new school the same questions.

You do have, unfortunately, a poor teacher. What you have to decide is if you can face this for a further year or whether you trust the new head to improve the situation. If you believe this teacher is continuing in y1 the decision to move becomes a no brainer in my view. Good luck.

What a cow. Your son is, what? 5 years old? What does she expect him to talk about, Of Mice and Men? His thoughts on Brexit?

I don’t think what a child is doing in their free time is any business of the teacher.

@DoTheNextRightThing this is exactly what I was thinking. Yes, he is 5 and has spent the best part of a year, seperated from our family and friends. It was only because of being in a lockdown did we discover how much he enjoys minecraft.

I think lots of use of Minecraft shouldn’t be a substitute for phonics and learning concepts for maths. It’s fun but it’s not necessarily going to help with the school curriculum. It’s a hobby but it’s not a substitute. My DDs liked dancing but it didn’t substitute for school work. It’s still important to find out what the curriculum is and what he should be learning.

I just thought I would just give a little update, we were about to go and have a look at another school. However this week the school has announced that my sons teacher is leaving at the end of this year, so thankfully he will have a new teacher in year 1. It is someone I am familiar with, she has taught my other children and she has also been going into reception and teaching them for one day a week. This morning my son told us that he really likes the teacher that he has one day a week, so I know he will be a lot happier next year. I feel so relieved.

So am I - for you and DS. Good result!

That's a positive update.

My ds year R teacher had nothing positive to say about him. It was awful. I even asked her once if she had anything nice to say and she looked confused!

My ds is no angel but from year 1 to year 11 most teachers said he was the polities and most caring child they'd ever met. So I've always doubted the odd one or 2 who say different have had a different child - rather they have different opinions on what makes a child they like!