Moving house after kids start primary - bad idea?

[stillsleeptraining]

Could really do with some advice here - this is one of those horrible conflicts between what would be best for the parents vs best for the kids and I'm struggling to know what to do.

We live in what was an "up and coming" area of London (well, it was pre-pandemic, but who knows now). We absolutely love it - the entrepreneurial community feel, constantly discovering new places to go, events to go to, our local friends, the people we meet, the house we live in. We're really not ready to move!

The issue is the secondary schools. They are uniformly awful and we can't afford private schools. There's also a lot of gangs in the area. Our kids are a 2 year old and a 3 month old and our plan was always to move when the oldest was 7 or 8.

I've now realised how difficult transferring schools is once they've started, which means they might not get into a feeder school or will end up somewhere rubbish. We're also starting to appreciate how difficult it could be for them once they've got their friendship groups.

Anyone with experience of transferring kids to different schools? Advice appreciated!

Generally secondary applications are not assessed on the primary school but on where you live. But if you know you want to move then it probably is best for the children to move sooner rather than later. But they would adjust and find new friends in a new school so it wouldn’t be the end of the world. It will all come down to the specifics of the precise area and schools you are thinking about.....

Thanks @Thethingswedoforlove . I'm worried specifically that if we move to an area where the good primaries are oversubscribed, we wouldn't get in even if we were next door to the school. Also worried that we'd have to apply in just over 1.5 years and it could take that long to do the house up for selling and complete the sell/buy process!

My DDs are on their fourth/fifth school. Definitely not advocating that! But my tips...

Either move before they start (by the January of that year) or when they are Yr3+.
Chose an area with several schools you are happy with.
Check admissions criteria carefully... Area we've just moved to does have catchment areas and feeder schools. But other areas just catchments, or just select bon distance. Or even lottery.
In year admissions is basically luck. Last move we had a lot of trouble that took nearly two months to sort. This time it was sorted in days and I can see the school from my window (last time I was driving two miles, taking up to 40mins one way...)

The other option is not keeping them at the old school, but depends on distance.

@Aroundtheworldin80moves That's helpful, thanks.

Why Y3+?

You don't know what secondaries are going to be good or awful in 8 years time so I'd hold your horses.

Far too early to be thinking about secondary schools now. Schools will change. Also, whilst looking at admissions criteria is a good idea (it's worthwhile to understand if you live in an area with catchments and/or feeder schools), agian, these can change.

From Yr3 there's more flexibility on class sizes.

@DarcyLewis @UserAtRandom We've decided we don't want teenagers here for various reasons, so we're definitely moving. We'd just prefer to move later. We also want to move eventually for a lifestyle change.

@Aroundtheworldin80moves I didn't know that - thanks

The risk with moving after starting is that you can't get a space for both kids at the same school. We got close to having to do two simultaneous drop offs at two different schools and it's a logistical nightmare. How many school years apart are your two kids? Could you move after your oldest has started but before you need to apply for the youngest? That way you'd be able to apply to the same school with sibling priority for the youngest and (depending on school oversubscription) have more chance of them both ending up in the same school.

It will probably depend on where you were hoping to move to, out of London or within London. In SW London for example its quite easy to get spaces post Y2 at all the good primary schools as there seems to be a mass exodus to Surrey or to private schools at that point. But if you were moving to surrey would be trickier!

We moved for a secondary school but I am a long term SAHM and could keep the children in their original primary school and do a school run by car every day. Ds1 was year 3.

The new address was in catchment for the secondary so we knew we would get in. There were no "feeder" schools just always over-subscribed and worked on a as the crow flies once they were down to lower criteria groups. It was our "nearest" school so we knew which criteria we came under. However, as a back up the primary school was a feeder school for a "good" secondary.

They could walk to either secondary school from our house. So not a huge move but one that paid off for us.

Look at admissions criteria for any potential primary or secondary closely.

I moved my son when he was in year 1 (v unhappy at first school) and then again in year 3 because we moved out of London. In terms of having a place at a good school it was not that difficult with 1 child, its surprising how many schools have places (also by that stage I had been cured of wanting an 'outstanding' school). The second move was really hard for my son though, if I had anticipated how sad he would be to leave school number 2 I would have done things differently.

I wish we had moved when the dc were the age of yours. Once they started school and made friends we felt it was unfair to move. I would have also lost my support network of the other local mums. Definitely look at moving now

In London, there are always some good state secondaries which are either selective (e.g. grammar or grammar stream) or eg music scholarship/chorister/find religion - if you are willing to travel a bit. Where do you live? Or you move into catchment of a good secondary closer to the time and commute for the younger child’s primary years. This is if you really love your area/London

We moved out of London when DD was in Y1, but given we both commuted, we decided to all commute together so DD just stayed at her London primary.

For secondary, the school nearest our house is in special measures at was a 40 minute journey, and the other two in the area would be over an hour on the bus to get to.

Sat DD for every school we could realistically get to in London that offered music scholarships. She was offered our top choice - happily was also a lottery entry school which means that the catchment is huge and lots of kids were the only ones there from their primary. That way she doesn't feel she misses out on social life.

She's incredibly happy there with a good group of friends. She does have an 80 minute commute each way which sounds dire, but it's in a short block and a long block so she does all her homework/reading on the long train section and then she has evenings free when she gets home. Works really well for us.

I have just had a thread on this and we decided to stay in London after all. We were soooooo certain we would move out of London when we got to secondary stage, as that’s what everyone does isn’t it?! But the time came and we just weren’t ready to move out. And also the local schools have become way better over the years, as more people choose to eschew the mad London obsession with the 11plus and started actually going to the local schools and standards have gone way up. In London, areas can change so much in a year, never mind 5 or more!

Plenty of families have to move, they cope fine but yes you have to take the places available, or homeschool properly (with no support from school) potentially until you get to the top of the list or secondary.

It's more difficult to get a place further out of london. My school is very good yet - there is always movement every year. Our two year 3 classes are running with 23/24 children in each - great for the kids - not so great for the school and funding.