Call from teacher to say they think my daughter is dyslexic but I'm not sure

[babytops]

My daughter is 6 in year 2 at school. Her school were non existent during lockdown and me and my husband both working from home, as well as having a toddler running round. So its safe to say we were not great on the homeschooling front. Second lockdown was better and they did assign some work on an app which we did most of when we could.
She has obviously missed half of year 1 and some of year 2 so is most definitely behind. I think most noticeably in her reading as she never got all the early phonics stuff. When they went back the school jumped straight into Year 2 work with a little bit of catch up from year 1.
She can read a fair bit but does struggle with some sounds. At home we are working on her reading and spellings (as she has a spellings test every friday - last weeks words were things like decision, treasure, leisure, vision) some weeks she gets 10 some weeks she gets 4/5.
I havent been overly concerned as obviously she missed so much school I was expecting it. However it seems the school have other ideas.
She is going to tutoring lessons before school 2 days a week that I assume the school were given funding for - this is for comprehension. Her teacher pulled aside my husband at pick up last week to say she is really struggling 'she is struggling the most out of everyone in the group' and my husband had to ask what it is she wants us to do, which is keep working on her reading. Ok fine, that's what we are doing. And I have noticed a considerable improvement at home and really proud of her.
So today, I have just had a call from her about an hour ago in which she mentioned speaking to my husband last week about her and then went on to say she thinks my daughter is dyslexic. She went on to say that she sometimes mixes up letters (which I haven't noticed at home bar the occasional b/d) and is really struggling. Then went on for 5 minutes about how its a really long process to get diagnosed through the senco at school and is really expensive for the school and that we can pay privately for an assessment.

Honestly the whole conversation knocked me for six. I asked her to email me everything she had just said and she replied that I am best speaking to the senco (who has never met my daughter!)

I'm looking for anyone with experience of dyslexia because most of the symptoms online dont apply to her but some do. And im wondering how much of that could just be the missed school ?

I am also unimpressed with the teacher to be honest. She ended the call saying 'now I could be completely wrong' !?
I also think something else is clouding my judgement. Another mum had a call last week about her daughter, in which the teacher said she thinks her daughter has adhd and her mum had the same WTF reaction as she really doesn't think she has it. Has since spoken to her gp who agreed.

I feel like I'm looking for an ulterior motive for this teacher to be diagnosing kids in her class with different things with the caveat that she's 'not an expert' and 'could be wrong'

I am considering paying for the assessment privately if I can get the funds together. But surely she could just be behind? and understandably so ?

Ask the teacher how she knows that your dd is dyslexic, she must have some evidence

I doubt that the teacher has any reason for suggesting SEN, other than genuinely suspecting it. She is right to say that she might be wrong, as she is not in a position to diagnose.

It sounds like your dd is quite far behind the rest of the group. If you really didn't bother with home schooling, then it's possible that this is the reason for the delay, but it sounds like she may not be catching up as quickly as they might expect.

I absolutely don't think you should feel under any pressure to pay for a private assessment, but I do think that you should take the school's concerns seriously and try to pursue an assessment through the SENCO or whatever channel they recommend.

It might turn out that your dd is dyslexic, or it might not. Either way, surely it's better to know so that she can get the most appropriate help.

6 is too young to be tested for dyslexia - you are supposed to wait until age 7. Any reputable private tester would tell you that. My son has mild dyslexia and we tested privately.

Probably it is worth speaking to the Senco, as if s/he is any good you can have a much clearer conversation about what the indicators are, what the school's process is, and what you could do at home.

The main thing will really be your DD spending 10-15 minutes a day reading out loud to you or your husband (make sure you are looking at the page too so that you pick up small mistakes) and ideally encouraging her to read to herself too. Also, if you have a kindle, you could try changing to the dyslexic font and see if she finds that easier to read.

It is not for a teacher to put forward a diagnosis though, unless specifically qualified. Are they the senco? If not ask to meet them first and organise an iep in the meantime. Fine to suggest assessment but your dc is on the younger side for dyslexia.

6 is too young to be tested for dyslexia - you are supposed to wait until age 7.

The child is in year 2, though, so very nearly 7. If it's a long process to get an assessment, she will be 7 by that time in any case.

@paralysedbyinertia
Trust me I'm carrying the guilt of that with me. There was no homeschooling to speak of first lock down, nothing from the school at all.

I really really want to sit down with the teacher, I want to see her work and for them to show me but obviously covid not allowing.

My son had a dyslexia test in year 3. School identified and issue in year 2 but had to wait until he was in year 3. There was no mention of it being anything other than school organising one for him. Bad form of your school for dropping this on you then asking you to sort and pay for a private test.

Sounds not dissimilar to my dd at the age - who incidentally, has dyslexia

Not being able to blend words and struggling with the sounds and the whole concept of phonics. Some letter reversal (and some number reversal - i.e. writing '3' back to front). She could 'read' but it was slow and an effort. Also struggled with months of the year ('September' didn't exist), days of the week and telling the time.

If she is dyslexic its good not to delay and get an assessment from around age 7. With appropriare support (and admittedly with the small class sizes in private school) my dd got very good GCSE results and A levels. Do you have any dyslexia in the family?

Oh God, and rote learning of times tables was a nightmare for her - but your dd is probably not doing that yet

[quote babytops]@paralysedbyinertia
Trust me I'm carrying the guilt of that with me. There was no homeschooling to speak of first lock down, nothing from the school at all.

I really really want to sit down with the teacher, I want to see her work and for them to show me but obviously covid not allowing.[/quote]
Sorry, it really wasn't my intention to make you feel guilty, it came out wrong.

What I was actually thinking was that an awful lot of parents struggled with home schooling, and you probably weren't the only ones who didn't do as much as you might have liked to, by a long stretch. It therefore seems unlikely that this alone would be the cause of your dd's struggles now, because there must be plenty of other kids in the same boat. So unless you really did nothing educational during the time that they were off (which doesn't actually sound like it's the case), I wouldn't be too quick to blame yourselves for dd's current struggling. It makes sense to investigate other possible causes.

Thanks @LimitIsUp
I dont think she struggles with the phonics in the same way - its more that she has to sound it out to read it, rather than just know the word if that makes sense. So she is slow because she is still sounding out lots of words before putting the sounds together.

We have been working on sight words at home to help reading - so currently i have a pile of words and we chose 10 a week for her to learn. Last weeks words she now knows by sight and were words like which, after plus colours and days of the week. And now shes knows them all.

I just hate the fact that they clearly need to catch up and know a lot of parents have complained as the school seem to have gone full pelt into year 2 stuff without the foundation stuff in place.

There would be no harm in speaking to the senco and getting them to refer her for an assessment. I definitely wouldn't pay for one for now but it might be worth putting a few quid away over the next few months. I'd be asking for extra materials for at home and over the summer and seeing if any improvement can be made.

My dd is dyslexic.
To be assessed you need to be 7.
The school said that they had done a basic assessment and she was dyslexic but didn't have the funding to do the full assessment. We then paid privately for the screening,assessment and report. The school have a copy of the assessment which is a legal document which they have to follow. This will stay with her until she goes to high school where she will need a new one.
The lady who did her assessment is also now her tutor and has been for the past 2 years

As someone who struggled but my teachers never mentioned dyslexia until I was in 6th form I can tell you that you would be doing her an incredible disservice to atleast not get the SENCO involved.

The school never bothered with me because i still got good grades but I rarely had enough time to finish work, had very messy handwriting (not at 6 funnily enough when they were still getting us to practice) and was terrible at spelling.

As others have mentioned 6 is quite young for a formal, private assessment but there will be things and assessments that the school SENCO can do which will help her in the short term. Then if she is dyslexic longer term you can work with the school to make sure the right assessments are in place for the transition to secondary.

Are you or DH dyslexic or one of your parents? There is often a genetic component.

How are her spellings?

Dyslexia Action were helpful when I was younger and we were trying to navigate assessments etc.

Thanks @PinkPlantCase

I have sent an email to the senco at the school to arrange a phone call so hopefully she will shed some light. I think i was just so unprepared, like i need more information than 'she gets some letters mixed up sometimes' as to why she thinks this.

No, neither me or DH are dyslexic, though my husband is horrendous at spelling.

She has a list of 10 spellings to learn every week and a test on fridays, she does pretty good most of the time but most of them are spellings that you just have to remember - as in they cant be sounded out phonetically - so probably not that helpful.

Don’t worry about the guilt of home schooling, we did absolutely none with ours. My yr4 DD caught up straight away but my yr2 not as quickly, the school was very quick and identifying this group of children to be hardest in the school in terms of learning so focussed really hard on bringing them all up to where they should be. Like you I got the dyslexia call, but I wasn’t surprised. I’d actually asked in reception and yr1 and was told she was fine and it was too early to tell. She’s very bright and clever but there are definitely some barriers she hits. Dyslexia can present itself in a number of ways some may only be subtle that you may not have noticed.

I’m dyslexic and when I was at school I had no help at all I’m primary and little in high school, it badly effected me and my confidence. These days it is so much better, there is plenty of support and no stigma. Our DN is dyslexic and also has dyspraxia, it hasn’t impacted his life at all.

You can pay for the assessment but I would just tell the school you want to go through them. The official assessment I think only lasts a certain number of years, our HT told me they don’t usually do the official one till yr 6 so it takes the child into high school. They just work internally with the senco assessments until then. I think it’s the schools way of making sure the children don’t fall through the gaps at high school. My DDs been very lucky her teachers are amazing and he has one on one support from amazing staff.

My DD is similar to me, she can get letters and numbers backwards, miss whole lines/questions out, needs a little longer to form what she’s trying to do or say in her head, can’t follow a series of instructions like follow a, b, c then d, she will do d then c and forget about a & b. Sometimes she just needs things explained to her in a different way for her to understand it. I’m fully expecting the assessment to show she’s dyslexic but I’m not worried it will effect her, we’ve already explained what it is and that if she is she just needs a bit of extra one on one help with her work, she’s perfectly happy with this.

There are dyslexia groups that also give a lot of support too.

Your husband may well be dyslexic even if he has never been diagnosed.

Although school can’t assess the SENCO should be able to run some screening tests to gather some more evidence to determine if she needs an assessment or not.

We had my daughter privately assessed as soon as she turned 7, best thing we ever did. It’s a legal document and school now have to provide her with additional support, which she gets and it’s just enough to stop the gap widening even more.

If she CAN sound out even though it's slow, don't try sight words - fluent readers (especially children) are still sounding out the words, they just do it faster and often silently, so by asking her to recognise sight words you will just give her an incentive to guess by sight which will NOT improve her phonics.

Other than that it seems awfully early to say but if she is struggling more than all the other children, they may be right.

Think of it this way; for so many children no one spots they are dyslexic til much later in their school life - and they have struggled for years and years. If you know then you can have a plan and when it comes to exam time she will get the help she deserves.

We were like this with our dd and I WISH someone had realised earlier!

I'd also try and get her eyes tested by a proper optician - it might help. And a hearing test just to rule issues out with the senses.

There's loads of support now for dyslexics and techniques to be learnt to make things easier.

Apart from the comment by other posters that 7 is usually the age needed before any formal testing for dyslexia is carried out the bit in the OP that shocked me was the reference to the test being really expensive and OP can get the test done privately.
No way! This is something that the school should be organising and paying for. Teacher is well out of line in saying that.
Many LAs will not accept private test reports because they know that the report will be favourable to the parents, they insist on having their own tests carried out via the school.

Re "I dont think she struggles with the phonics in the same way - its more that she has to sound it out to read it, rather than just know the word if that makes sense. So she is slow because she is still sounding out lots of words before putting the sounds together." That's not inconsistent with dyslexia. Good phonics coaching does very often pay off, but it takes the dyslexic DC longer to achieve automaticity, so still sounding out aloud, and being slow and a bit effortful, could be exactly what you'd see.

My DS is in Year 2 as well, and has been diagnosed this year as dyslexic. He is a pretty competent reader. He's worked hard and learnt the phonics and learnt to compensate. My dyslexic husband is a pretty competent reader too :-) Dyslexia can sound scary if you don't know much about it but as said upthread, there's so much support now and understanding of what works - and assistive tech when they're a bit older. It is brilliant that her teacher is flagging the concern. It may be nothing but it's impossible to tell without a full assessment. School Senco should be able to run a screener in house which would give a better indication whether it's worth pursuing , though they're not infallible. (Dyslexic DS aced two screeners!) And if she is dyslexic, the sooner she knows the better - for reading outcomes and for her self-esteem.

DS does guess more than he appears to - so absolutely agree with not pushing for reading words on sight if dyslexia is a possibility, as the result can be that they learn to rely on shape or guessing from context/first letter, so appear to be reading well but lack the foundations. And then when demands increase as they move into upper primary years, that house of cards crashes down...

Also just noticed you mentioned she's been getting extra support at school with comprehension. That can also be consistent with dyslexia - either because the DC is still struggling to decode everything in the first place, or if they are decoding it successfully then because it's not automatic enough and working memory is also struggling, so there's cognitive overload, basically not enough desk space in the brain - meaning that having good enough recall to answer all those reading comprehension questions they get asked in school becomes a nightmare.

It sounds like a combination of shock and guilt because of the home schooling and lost learning.

I wouldn't pay for an assessment if you aren't sure but a large number of students aren't diagnosed until they get to high school so if the SENCO is willing to put her through assessment then I would take it.

If she does get a diagnosis then she might get intervention throughout her school life, assessed for extra time, a reader and scribe at High school and access to assistive technology at Uni. And if she does turn out to struggle with reading or writing she'll know why. If she isn't dyslexic then she's been assessed and nothing else will come of it.

I've had conversations with parents when I've noticed certain things about their child's work, scruffy handwriting often accompanied by complaints of aching hands and being tired or a student who can verbalise their answer but can't write it down I'm not an expert but I'd flag both scenarios up to the SENCO and let the parents know out of courtesy.

I'm dyslexic but wasn't diagnosed until I went to uni as an adult. It's great if it's picked up at a young age as there are so many strategies for managing 'mainstream education.' Even those not diagnosed yet or non- dyslexic can benefit from using these strategies.

Dyslexia is much more than reading and spelling. We think differently from non-dyslexics. Some read better than others. I've always had a high reading level but I can't visualise words so struggle to work out how to spell.
Also, most dyslexics read in context, as far as I'm aware non-dyslexics can decode words. I can't do that, and it's important that I've heard a word spoken or I can misunderstand it. Phonics are a good way to learn to read because you here the sound and usually get pictures with worksheets. Audio and visual aids are really important and something to keep in mind.