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how often friends round?

5 replies

whatajoke · 14/11/2007 16:14

My DD1 only has friends round once every couple of months.

This is mainly because she does dance, swimming, brownies and drama after school.

Also, at weekends she visits her dad.

She does see her good school friend at brownies and walks home with her every night and they have a few mins play while I chat to her mum.

But I see all the other girls regularly going to there mates houses. No-one really asks my DD, but to be fair it's probably because everyone knows how busy she is.

Also, my RL friend is worried about her DS. He goes to afterschool club every evening but none of his friends are there and she worries because he NEVER has people to play and also is never invited anywhere.

Any advice for her, or me?!

Thanks in advance.

OP posts:
hippipotami · 14/11/2007 16:47

I think in both instances the answer is in your OP. Your dd is very busy after school, so not much chance for friends. If she does have a day free, ask one of her friends over, and surely she will get invited back.

Wrt your friend's ds - ime most people when having one of their dc's friends for tea will pick their child and friend up from school. So the afterschool club thing may make things difficult. If your friend is able to, can she drop the afterschool club one day a week and start by inviting a friend back? Then a reciprocate invite is sure to follow.

whatajoke · 14/11/2007 16:54

I have asked friends over on a free day. We didn't used to have a free day as I worked the day she had free and my DM would pick her up. One friend invites her back, but the others don't. DD says that they ask their parents but they say that she is busy after school and to wait til the holidays.

My friend works every day and so cannot drop the afterschool club. She wishes someone would ask to have him occasionally so he could skip the afterschool club but no-one does. The problem with her though is that because he goes to breakfast club and afterschool club, she doesn't get to know any of the mums.

OP posts:
smartiejake · 14/11/2007 17:02

I have always tried to keep at last one day free for my dds to have friends over. They are now 9 and 11 and have a friend round to play most weeks. However dd2 is rarely invited to friends houses despite some same friends coming over repeatedly. I do get a bit fed up with feeding/ entertaining same child time and time again without favour being reciprocated. Think it is very rude of the parents- I couldn't do it myself. Not parents who work either. THe worst culprit is a SAHM

whatajoke · 14/11/2007 17:09

I didn't worry about it at first because DD1 does have her best friend who she sees at brownies and also when the brownies do things at weekends.

Also, she is not bothered at all. I mention to her about inviting people round and she says okay but then she never bothers asking them!

Should I just leave her be?

OP posts:
hippipotami · 14/11/2007 18:58

Just leave her be. I find that as they get older they have less playdates (shudder at that word)

When ds was in reception and Y1 we had a friend over or he went to a friend's house most weeks. In Y2 and 3 that went down to every other week or every third week.
Now he is in Y4, and so far it is averaging out at once a month. But he seems happy with that. Plus he does 3 out-of-school activities, as well as twice weekly rehearsals after school for the Christmas play, so I am not to worried either.

Dd is in reception, and the parents seem almost feverish in trying to arrange 'playdates'. Most noticeably those mums for whom it is the first child they have in school. Us 'second time round or even more' mums appear far less eager, strangely

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