Should I send my child to a CofE school even though I don't believe in God?

[claraquitebignow]

My dd is only 2 so this is a way off yet, but we may be going abroad for a few years next year so we have started to think about which primary school she should go to when we return.

Our local school is literally about 4 minutes walk away and has an excellent reputation - one of the best in the town we live in. However, it is a CofE school with a "Christian ethos", the children attend church services, the local vicar gives assemblies and is on the board of governors etc.

Neither my husband or I believe in God, neither of us were raised with any religion and the best thing I would like to teach my children is to be open-minded to all cultures and religions. If she later becomes religious, then that is fine. But I don't really want it forced down her throat from the age of 4.

There are other good schools in the area, but none within walking distance so I would have to drive her (and Number 2, who is on its way any day now) to school every morning. Which doesn't exactly appeal either!

I am sure she would be very happy at the local school, it seems excellent and the children there seem very well behaved. But not too sure how I would feel if she was made to pray every morning

Anyone had any experience of this?

Slightly off topic, but we are anti-religion, would never dream of sending Dct o a church school. Our DC go to a secular state school, however they do get some religious eduction there thru' the NC. They are aware the DH & I do not believe, but that some people do - we have left it like that. After a school trip to a local church, there was a quiz and DS2 (age 7) won a children's bible as a quiz prize.
He was very proud of it, insisted on carrying it home himself, and now reads a few chapters each night in bed
We are pleased he is reading something, but it is ironic that he should be reading the bible - the first bible ever to have netered our house...

if you've got a bit of time to spare, this is a very interesting but long discussion on religion in schools - among other things!

Blimey seeker, I can't believe it got to 1000 messages. Admire your fortitude!

I know - I was there to the bitter end - e3ndlessly repeating myself, endlessly being told to get over myself...(in the nicest possible way). It was like deja vu all over again!

Well had a good read of the school prospectus last night and it does say that you can withdraw your child from church services and RE if you want. So that is one option (although I also don't want her to "stand out" so I guess this will depend how common it is to do this). Also talked to DH about it. He said he was sent to a religious primary school but has turned out the most un-religious, actually anti-religious person I know. So I am not too worried that she will be brainwashed as such (I also remember being taught about Jesus and being nailed to the cross as an impressionable 8 year old; it didn't turn me into a believer but did scare me a bit!).

Haven't read the thread so apologies if its already been said but round here to get your child into a church school you need to attend church every week or fortnight for about 2 yrs before starting school to have any hope of getting them in. And also have a supporting letter from your vicar/priest. I would check the prospectus.

Merlini - no it's a state primary but is a CofE school, has a "Christian ethos", the children attend church services etc. Don't ask me what the difference is - I'm new to all this education lark (yesterday when I looked round the school was about the first time I had stepped foot in a primary school for about 20 years!), but as it is state funded I don't think they can refuse you entry even if you believe in the anti-christ!

Mis-read the OP as Catholic and thought NO! However, (and I hope I don't regret typing this) isn't CofE 'religion lite'?

Nearly all primary schools in our town are CofE. Personally, I'd like to see church/religion and education kept well apart, but have had to accept that they are as they are and hope they will embrace my DS's right to love his atheist mummy.

Village school is C of E - big links with village church. Dh & I are not into organised religion, but it is a great school. They are taught about lots of different religions and I certainly don't feel as though they've been brainwashed. The local town has 5 schools - 3 are CofE, 1 is RC and 1 is secular.

I actually see the religion aspect in a positive way as we don't really do religion at home. They make up their own minds anyway. Ds1 very sceptical about everything whereas ds2 is very into God!

Clara - each state school has a list of criteria for entry. Usually things like distance from home, older sibling in the school. But in the case of a CofE school number 1 priority is usually CofE family, number 2 priority to other christians (forget the wording, think its to cover other protestant denominations like methodist, URC). In our village, proximity was 3rd on list. Popular oversubscribed school, therefore get people from out of the village turning up to church for a few years till their kid is safely installed. It really is a complete travesty. (I know they aren't all like this but tis so here).

So you will need to check entry requirements.

my DS goes to a (very sought after) CoE school which is close by. We are not Christians and have told DS we don't believe in God (that's why he isn't baptised). But the school is religious and has prayers and a regular sermon. DS has mentioned a number of times that he would like to go to church and be baptised. We just say he can wait until he is old enough to decide for himself. And we are also very clear about evolution, etc - in fact DS loves going to the Natural History Museum and looking at the early humans section (did cause a slight mix-up between Jesus Christ and Darwin in his mind though which was a bit embarassing when he called JC Charles Darwin). Personally I love having a good school within walking distance and if I don't have to pretend to believe in God, I don't mind if DS gets a bit of prayer on a regular basis. His belief in God despite our obvious disbelief is very touching!

emsmum - it's fine, the criteria for entry is 1) siblings already at the school, 2) medical needs 3) proximity to school and 4) others. No mention of religion at all. I was told we would no problems getting her in as we live so close.

I'm a churchgoer but have been surprised at how much religion is mentioned in school.
My DD comes home singing hymns (constantly) and talking about God constantly.
I don't think it would be possible to just 'withdraw' from the religious activities. Every day they have an act of worship, hymn practice, religious stories and discussion and prayers before meals and at the beginning and end of the day. I think you would need to be removing your child several times a day, rather than a few times a term.

I think there's a distinction between CofE 'aided' and CofE 'controlled' schools - aided schools just get a bit of money from the church but controlled schools have their curriculums decided by the church to some degree (obviously also in line with gov curriculum) - so sounds like this school is an aided one hence not requiring you to be church-goers etc?

Skid - I think you are right. It's not a church funded school - although I think it was originally built and paid for by the church. But now their grants come from the Council, and you have to apply to Shire Hall for admission.

I just wish they would keep faith out of state schools all together (although I do agree with religious education - it's very important for our children to understand the differences in people's beliefs and how this affects so many things in the world today). In my opinion, faith should be something taught at home if this is what parents wish for their children.

Clara - if they've got sensible, non discriminatory entry requirements than that, then hopefully this is a pleasant and moderate sort of church school. I'm sure they vary enormously. Do you know any parents with kids already in the school you can gently quiz?

Emsmum (which by the way could be my name as my daughter is Emma and gets called Em by me quite a lot!) - yes our next-door-neighbours children go there so I think I will speak to them about it at some point, in as subtle a way as possible in case they think I am being critical. I don't even know if they are church goers but if they are I would not want them to think I was criticising the school for being religious.....