Preparing for reception in September?

[Spainintherain]

Can anyone tell me if they did anything in particular to prepare their child for reception? I'm nervous as my child has some special needs (sensory) and still won't poo on the loo. So she holds her ooo and dies it in the pull-up she wears after bath time. She can't use a knife and fork properly although she tries and doesn't dress herself and undress herself independently without tears (I am sure she could do most of it if she didn't cry!)

She is very shy and anxious and doesn't enjoy going to nursery and just wants to be at home. I'm worried about how she will be compared to others in her class and if she just won't be ready for it all. I do keep trying with everything

You have identified the right things to work on, so just carry on doing what you are doing. Whilst it is preferable they can dress themselves etc there are always some who need help. Think about what uniform you buy to make it as easy as possible, particularly on PE day e.g. trousers might be easier than tights.

In terms of the anxiety, that is harder. Are there sensory things she is struggling with, or social things she finds hard? Some children do do better with the increased structure of school. I would let the school know nearer the time so they can work with you on settling.

She still has five months of learning, maturing and developing to go before she starts. That’s a lot of time to gently work on her confidence, self esteem, social skills and personal care skills. Remember while it might not sound like a lot of time to you it represents a lot of time in terms of her overall life experience.

Dressing and undressing will soon become much easier as the weather warms up, if you can encourage her with easy to put on clothes like t shirts, pull on shorts etc she will start to develop skills to deal with more complicated clothes come the autumn. You can also help her to improve her hand co ordination skills and muscle strength using things like play dough , threading beads, sand castle making, duplo, jigsaws etc.

Learning to do up buttons and zips is a skill, sometimes easier to learn on toys or other objects than clothes. Put markers on her shoes so she can put them in the right orientation as a first step to putting them on independently. Encourage her to take responsibility for hanging her own coat up ( on a low hook) putting her shoes tidily and her dirty clothes in a washing basket, tidying up her toys and books, picking her pjs off the floor, clearing her own plate and cutlery from the table. Lots of praise and encouragement for being a clever big girl. Extend the responsibility to doing things like putting table mats out, finding the salt and pepper shakers, giving the cat his biscuits etc and other little jobs that she can perform independently .

Walk past her school if you can, and talk about what you see very positively, it’s all a bit different as there might not be many opportunities for settling in sessions. Might be worth contacting the school when they go back to see if it is possible for you to visit. If it is, take lots of photos of the school so you can talk about the classrooms, the hall, dining hall, the toilets, the office so it becomes familiar.

If the toileting hasn’t improved naturally ( which it could well do) then make an appointment with the Senco at the school to discuss it , maybe ask for a meeting with someone from the school nurse attached to the school.

I am sure she will be fine, reception teachers are used to having a wide spectrum of children in the class, from the super confident to the super shy. Try not to let her sense your anxiety about her, we often take cues about our expected behaviour from others.

A great tip for teaching her to put her coat on:

Lie it on the floor with the hood/collar facing her. Get her to kneel down and put her arms down the arms of the coat. Then get her to move her arms above her head and round on a circle. The coat goes on magically!

We used to teach children to do this in nursery and they loved it!

Thank you so much for the advice!

The only thing she will put on is her coat. I'm more worried about her dressing for PE.

I have work to do with her!

The one that jumped out at me was wanting to be with you and being shy. Don’t worry about this but try to work on this (it’s hard at the moment). If you’ve got any friends with children you could suggest meeting up. Go to parks where your child can play near others (if you are comfortable with this). If you can, get her used to being away from you.

They’ll all have their challenges, try not to worry 😊

@Spainintherain the school should clarify pe arrangements in the transition letter. At my dcs school reception class do movement and music for pe for the first two terms which only involves shoes and socks on and off. Usually they transition to changing into pe kit after Easter but they are wearing pe kit to school instead of uniform on pe days due to covid.

I would definitely seek help for the anxiety both from the GP and the school. One of my children really struggled with separation anxiety.

Starting reception is still quite a long way away so try not to worry.

Is she summer born?

Thank you! I didn't know that about pe. I think we are the only ones who can't do things and get so worried! She is winter born so not young for her year.

Does she go to Nursery ? Or even a playgroup or Stay and Play ?

She goes to nursery twice a week which she doesn't like since she went back in September after being home for six months due to lockdown. There has been a lot of Change with her favourite teachers and friend all leaving ang the COVID restrictions they put in place.

Usually on PE days they go in dressed in PE kit for the day. Sometimes they do PE in school uniform.

@HedgeSparrows

Usually on PE days they go in dressed in PE kit for the day. Sometimes they do PE in school uniform.

This. In private schools too and especially now with Covid. It's one thing to get them into PE kit at that age but think about how many inside out uniforms have to be sorted before they can get dressed again 😂

5 months is oceans of time. We resorted to outright bribery for pooing into a loo.
DD was obsessed with the Meg and mog cartoons (YouTube) but was limited to one per time. We randomly got a pebble in the loo one day, made a huge fuss and a rewarded with about 10 cartoons back to back. Never looked back after that.

You will need to label everything if you ever want to see it again. All the girls will have near identical shoes for example!

This time last year I was extremely anxious about DC1 starting reception. They seemed to do so much growing up in the next few months (despite not being at nursery for a few months). A few months is a long time in the life of a 4 year so please try not to worry.

I decided to concentrate on life skills, similar to the things you have mentioned. Getting dressed, cleaning up after a poo and eating better were the main things. I was worried about them not eating and being hungry mall day. DC1 is still rubbish with a knife and fork but I really don’t worry about it now.

With getting dressed we turned it into a competition and used to set a timer. Still do that on tough mornings!

If you contact the school, the YR teacher might do a home visit to assess her needs. I would contact the school ASAP so they can consider what her needs are and how they can meet them. They might visit the nursery too (if allowed). They should certainly get as much info as possible on her needs before she starts and it’s ok to contact them now.

She has just been diagnosed with autism now

So will she be assessed for a EHC plan? Who is involved with her educational needs?

I dont know about EHCP as we just found out.it would depend on how things go in terms of struggling at school. I have a lot of meetings to set up now.

Just do what your doing!! My little boy is exactly the same as your dd and he's in reception! And honestly he isn't the only one so I wouldn't over think it but a lot of them thrive from the kids around them doing it and I'm sure you'll see a difference. But as you have the splints. I'd tell the school so they are aware also and maybe get some support for her at the start. I wouldn't worrrh though as you aren't the only one xx

Just seen your post to.
I applied for an EHCP in June last year before my son started reception and it still isn't complete and my son is terminally ill.... the school have had to fund it themselves!
furious doesn't come close to how i feel about it so I'd honestly start now as they don't rush them !! Get it in place and you'll be fine
Lots of meetings now though! Xx

Hi spidermomma firstly I'm so sorry to hear your son is terminally ill. I wish him all the very best, I really do.

I don't know what you mean about splints?

I don't know if child needs an EHCP yet but will get on the case!