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Primary education

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How do you think we need to handle this?

18 replies

SweetFA · 09/11/2007 08:18

A very worried couple approached me as I sat in the car with Ds yesterday morning - apparently they had been involved in a horrid incident with the head TA the previous afternoon.
It involved something that had happened during school when my son had walked into the back of their son's head in a corridor, my son had had a bleeding lip and when I went to collect him (at lunchtime) I was told this other little boy had punched him, and that they would be speaking to the boy in question later.
The man told me that the TA had called his wife forward, and in front of all the class and parents, had stated that her son had been 'vicious and spiteful' and had 'attacked' my son. (The child in question is the sweetest little thing you can imagine, not the 'type' to hit anyone)
These parents were extremely upset and I hurried to calm them down by saying what my son had reported to me, which was that they had simply collided.
The man complained to the class teacher who was going to phone them later - I will wait and see if they are there this morning and ask what was done.
But I went to get Ds again yesterday at lunch, and the TA was all smiley and winked at me () and then proceeded to 'pull up' the other child as he entered the classroom, as though he had misbehaved - he had not. I gave her a bit of a 'look' and left.
It strikes me she has a problem with her method of handling incidents, in fact I had an issue with her a the start of term when she told my son off for something.
I think she needs to be spoken to strongly - but am more concerned that she might be 'favouritising' some kids and picking on others - it could be my child next, iyswim.

What do you do if you have doubts about a TA's appropriateness?

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SweetFA · 09/11/2007 08:19

BTW these are reception children.

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Buda · 09/11/2007 08:24

Definitely talk to the class teacher. Tell her exactly what happened.

She sounds a nightmare.

AngharadGoldenhand · 09/11/2007 09:34

I'd be talking to the Head.

TheQueenOfQuotes · 09/11/2007 09:36

I'd be talking to the head too.

SweetFA · 09/11/2007 10:01

Ok. Do I just ring up and say 'I want to talk to the head'? I feel rather awkward because I didn't witness either event (the accident or the aftermath involving the parents) so not sure what my exact standpoint is.
Thanks for replying, I'm glad it isn't just me that thinks this is worrying.

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SweetFA · 09/11/2007 10:05

(I didn't see the parents today so I don't know what happened after they complained)

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maisykins · 09/11/2007 10:09

Could you speak to the other parents again - in suitably sympathetic way "is everything okay now"? I wouldnt be talking to the head about an incident primarily involving their child when these other parents might think they have resolved it with the head or the class teacher themselves if you see what I mean.

maisykins · 09/11/2007 10:10

Sorry wrote the above before I saw your last post

SweetFA · 09/11/2007 10:11

Thanks, yes that's how I feel - just the idea that my child could be next though, iyswim.

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Doodledootoo · 09/11/2007 10:13

Message withdrawn

SweetFA · 09/11/2007 10:16

Yes I'll do that. From what I gather this woman has been at the school a fair while - I wonder if she's always been weird or if people have complained in the past?

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Notquitegrownup · 09/11/2007 10:20

I'd be dropping a letter to the class teacher, stating that your son had reported to you that they had simply collided, and that you were very happy, having spoken with the other lad and his parents. Explain that you understood the TA to be mistaken in believing that this had been a more sinister incident, and say that you would be happy to go into school to discuss it if necessary. That's enough of a hint for a sensible teacher/head to pick up on, if they need to, or for you to follow up on, if you see any more strange behaviour from this TA who sounds most worrying.

shergar · 09/11/2007 10:31

I'd be writing a letter to the class teacher, which is copied to the Head. Be factual and dispassionate, but equally leave no doubt in it about the odd behaviour of this TA.

JenT · 09/11/2007 17:16

We have had alot of incidents this term with a special needs child in my DS1 nursery class at the local primary school..

the reason I have told you that is that they have proceedures about what needs to be done.

I would ask to have a chat with the teacher initially (not the TA) and ask what procedures are in place to ensure that there is a clear picture of things that happen. for both children to independently say it was an accident and for the other child to be villified is unacceptable.

My feeling on it is that the child has in the past done something and now each time something goes wrong it is assumed to be him behaving badly.

Putting things in writing seems to make things really quite like an official complaint and I am not sure from your message if this is where you feel you are at the moment. It sound more like you feel you have some questions that need answering.

I may have this totally wrong...
Good luck!

Jenx

perpetualworrier · 10/11/2007 21:40

Why on earth is a TA dealing with this?

If the school thought one of mine had been "vicious and spiteful" I would want to hear it form the teacher if not the head.

I don't really think this is your battle though, unless you can be specific about the unsuitability of this TA.

2boys2 · 11/11/2007 08:16

it is rather concerning that the TA seems to single out the child when he has only just walked in the classroom - and at reception age too. I would definatley speak to the teacher and also mention what you saw because once a child has a "bad reputation" some teachers (not all of course!!) cant get passed that label and blame them for everything. And as you say it could be your child next that is picked on by that TA. It will make the child a nervous wreck if that TA is picking on him for every minor misdomeanor

ChipButty · 11/11/2007 08:29

Speak to the teacher first. Please do no go over her head directly to the Head Teacher first.

SweetFA · 11/11/2007 13:33

Thankyou...well I still haven't managed to catch the parents to ask them whether it was resolved to their satisfaction. I hope I'll see them tomorrow.
I did mention it to the teacher on Friday and said 'I hope that was all sorted out yesterday' and she sort of vaguely said 'Oh it's all fiiine' like she says about everything - and I suppose she is bound to not give details even though my son was peripherally involved.

I think the only way to handle it now is to see if the parents themselves are complaining, (mentioning perhaps that I had seen her single out their son) and then once more offer to back them up if so.
Meanwhile I shall attempt to instil in my son the idea that if Mrs. *** says anything mean to him, he has to tell me straight away.

I really appreciate your views on this and feel better having laid it before the MN jury

Thankyou

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