Help! Am I a pushy parent?

[Dandi]

probably, but wasn't trying to be! We had parents' evening the other night for ds (yr2) but we were only allocated 10 mins each and so by the time his teacher had finished what she wanted to say, time was pretty much up! I wanted to ask about the SATs this year - how they do it, how they prepare the children etc. So I made an appt to see the teacher after school today - don't often go in. She was very ehlpful and talked through how they approach it, the balance between written tasks & teacher assessment, the different levels etc. So I (quite casually) asked where ds was in relation to the levels, what was she expecting him to be graded at, but she seemed a bit horrified that I'd asked and said it was way to early to tell. Any thoughts - was I being pushy or do Mums ask this? I;m not planning to school him for the tests or anything, it's just he's had a few problems over the last couple of years due to being quite poorly when he was 3, and I wanted to know if he was getting back up to speed.

Well, children are assessed in various different ways right from Nursery, but will have been given National Curriculum levels at the end of Year 1, although it may not be your school's policy to formally report them to parents. However, levels will exist for your child somewhere, and if the teacher doesn't know them, she jolly well ought to find out. (What's more, there will be targets set for him too i.e. what they are predicting he will get in SATs). You're perfectly within your rights to ask. If you don't get a satisfactory response from her, take your request to the Head. You can explain why you wish to know - although you don't need to justify it. The school should be working "in partnership" with the parents, and this is an example of what that should mean. Good luck.

thanks, Clam - that's really interesting. I had no idea about all that. Need to give this some more thought - don't want to be too pushy, but also want to give ds as much support as we can with the difficulties he's had.

One of my best friends is a teacher and she, like most teachers, thinks SATS are a complete waste of time. Why? Because she knows the grade each child will get before they take the tests. I am sure your son's teacher has a fairly good idea, plus or minus one sub group where he will be too in the summer.

Same friend (a Y2 teacher) said she also hated SATs because some children got upset by them. She was obliged to put a test paper in front of children with questions that stretch the bright and that low ability children did not have a hope with. She would play it down to the children, saying that they may not be able to answer all the questions, but that the test would teach her what to teach them.

She also ignored guidelines about how tests should be conducted. Apparently, wall displays which may help the children should be removed from classrooms during testing. Her logic was that if kids have the sense to use wall displays to help them, they deserve any extra points they may earn. However, she did lay the children's desks out examination style.

So are you a pushy parent? No, I don't think so. Wanting to help your child is natural and no one wants their children to be the one who runs out of SATs in tears because they have not been prepared properly. We parents have not chosen to put our 6 and 7 year olds through these tests, but given they are compulsary I think we should offer as much support as we can.

Aren't the SATs more to see how the teaching is rather than the children? That was my understanding anyway. My DS is in Yr 2 and is an August birthday and I am hoping (need to check with school) that they don't make a big thing out of them.

I don't want my child to know anything about them TBH!

No I have three primary aged children and I always ask how they compare to the rest of the class. The teacher has always told me.

Im surpised she didn't volunteer the levels at the 10min meeting. When I have had those, they always sem to have the levels written down and volunteer them. They also shown them on the school report a tthe end of each year, together with a chart showing the expected acheivement levels.
When DS1 was in Y2, I had assumed they were taken serioauly, and was quite surised when the teached said htat DS1 was expected to get a level X, but it didn;t matter if he didn't perfomr on the day, as she had discretion to award him that level anyway - which seemed kind of odd..
I must admit, I am never sure whether eg a 2A is higher or lower than a 2C - I think they start at 1c, and then go 1b,1a,2c,2b etc...
I have never been cheky enough to ask about other childrens' levels, tho' Dh has , and he has been told

I don't think you are being pushy. It's reasonable to expect the teacher to know where he is at this point in the school year.

Hi Dandi,

your thread reminded me of a chinese friend I have who was educated brilliantly in china..
however, at her school the practice at parents evening was that all parents had to arrive at 6pm and you were seen in order of where your child was in the class.. so if your child was the lowest you waited the longest .. she said that this was one of the main reasons that the parents spent so much time motivating and encouraging their child with their school work.

Although there is a balance between being pushy and encouraging I don't think you have done anything pushy at all by asking the questions you did! I think she was covering her bum by not answering you incase the child didn't get the level she predicted.

Hope all goes well with the SATS when are they?

Jen x

thanks all for the helpful and reassuring messages!

yes, Madsometimes - they do take all the wall displays down, so they can't use them as prompts - that did seem a bit OTT and i would agree with you that it seems reasonable to let them use them.

MrsGuy - ds's teacher also said that if a child didn't perform as well as she knew they could, she would bump their grade up (and vice versa) - which makes you think - so why bother with the tests at all!

I'll definitely not be mentioning them to ds, unless he wants to talk about them and his teacher did say that she would be playing it down, so I hope he won't get at all stressed.

Agree, JenT, I think she was covering herself a bit - she tends to be a bit defensive. The tests are in May, though they don't know when. But they don't report their grades till July in the school report.

MrsGuy - that is appalling that your DH was told someone else's levels (I can't believe he even asked ). Presumably that means that your DCs grades could be common knowledge as well? I know I wouldn't be happy. A teacher should not be discussing another pupil at all.

Sorry - did not explain well enough - he did not ask about specific other children, but about how DS's level compared with the others in terms of top/bottom, middle, upper quartile, upper percentile type of measurement

I always get this - total shock when I ask where DS1 is in relation to the rest of the class. But I would agree, assessment is on going and they know the children who are doing well and will get a level 3 and those who are doing badly. They claim that the children can change their position all the time so they don't want to tell you. At best I get a vague idea although I knew he was a good reader and that his handwriting was not so good but the science and maths I had no idea.

In DS's school the children don't even know they are taking the tests. The teachers do them in the course of the work in a normal school day. I told DS what his results were at the end of last term (he is in Yr 3 now) and he had no idea he had even been tested and had no idea what I was talking about, which is just how it should be imo.