How are all the new September Primary intake getting on? Have the tears stopped, are they eating, have they made friends?

[oliveoil]

my previous sad thread

dd1 had eventually stopped crying a week before half term but this week has cried again

am hoping it is a hiccup and temporary due to a break from school and that she will be ok next week

anyone else got any updates?

DD still refuses to be parted from me every morning but the teacher and TA arer brill with her and usually find her a job to do which involves her leaving the room. From then on she is fine, she has the advantage of having a big brother which seems to give her some quodos. Judging by the games she makes her little brother play every afternoon she is taking it all in, he gwets to relive the days activities with her playing the teacher.

Hotcrossbunny, what hours does she do? I'm canvassing as Ds just went back to part time and I don't know what works best.

Dd goes 8.40 - 12.30. She has lunch at school and then we pick them up.

In the morning there is a staggered drop off. The classroom doors open at 8.40-8.55, we take them in at some point then, hang up coats, change books, put up name etc then they can do any activities laid out. We can stay to settle them as long as we like which has been brilliant. I found if I took dd in as soon as doors opened she didn't find it too overwhelming as it was quite quiet and she wasn't going into a busy classroom.

Pick up is as soon as they finish lunch so they don't have the big playground to face for hours.

Dd wont go full time til Easter if we don't want her to.

I am really pleased with the whole set up and there have been no tears from any children as far as I'm aware.

Thanks it sounds excellent. Will persevere...

Hi OO
I posted on your last thread as my DD was not settling in well at all but..... with fingers crossed we seem to have got over it.
I wouldn't say she likes it and she's not overly keen on her teacher but from chat's with the other Mum's I don't think she's on her own there.. (old school type, early fifties not at all mumsy). However they have a different teacher on a Wednesday and she absolutely loves her - she has long red hair
"Just like Ariel Mummy" .. She still thinks the day is too long but she is now eating all her lunch and there are no tears at lunchtime or in the morning. Half term was quite funny as she just couldn't believe her luck that every day was a holiday!!!
Today learnt that she is going to be Mary in the Christmas play so if I'm not in labour I shall just explode with pride!!!!!

All well with hippigirl. Had parent/teacher appointment this afternoon, the verdict was that dd was very helpful, very sociable, seems to have made lots of friends, is very good at reading and came top in the recent counting challenge.

She skips into school in the morning, and skips out at 3pm.

So I am very very very pleased!

Am I the only one with a child still struggling?

He was so confident in nursery (private - not school one) and worked so hard at his reading/writing that now he is in school he's a totally different child.

His pen control is minimal - he doesn't press hard enough, he can't cut properly, he takes too long to get changed for P.E - that was the list I got just now in Parents' Evening.

All the kids ignore him (even when he speaks to them directly - they just stone wall him... I want to say something about being rude but daren't because I'll be accused of being "precious") To the naked eye it looks like he's playing WITH them but I know he is just following them, trying to catch them up/be allowed to join in.

Also, he is getting pushed around, is far too shy to stand up for himself and ends up in tears on the playground of a morning when the more forceful brats kids push him over/out the way.

I am actually so worried about him that I'm sending him for kickboxing lessons to "butch" him up a bit.

Parents' Eve was horrendous - nothing but "he is bright, but doesn't apply himself" but why would he when he is so unhappy...

Sorry to go on, but I have noone else to tell (single parent). I apologise - please ignore me!

Oh Lewisfan, sorry to hear your ds is struggeling.

Wrt - he is not applying himself, surely the teacher can help motivate him? This is reception we are talking about.
Wrt his handwriting troubles, do exercises with him, practice drawing loops, curls, whirls and wiggly lines.
Wrt his friendship troubles, talk to the teacher. She should be able to help settle him at play in class with other children. Also, ask her which boy/girl your ds gets on with best and arrange for that child to come to tea. Once your ds has one or two friends he should find it easier to integrate.
Re the getting changed for PE thing - check his uniform is easy on/off, for instance on PE days leave his polo shirt unbuttoned so he can pull it straight over his head.
Also, some 'against the clock' dressing/undressing races at home might be a fun way to speed him up.

Hope that helps. He will settle, honestly. Some just take longer than others. Please ignore my previous post, and don't compare my dd with your ds. Dd is one of the oldest in her year (December birthday) and has an older brother, so she has seen him go to school and was very ready to go to school herself. I was just lucky, she is not some kind of wonderchild!

It will all work out for your ds. But in the meantime, ask the teacher for help in getting him settled.

Well Lewis - my DS1 (year 2) is still struggling. But don't get depressed so are loads of the kids in your son's class still are.

DS2 was very like your DS at playgroup - he didn't actually play with anyone, just followed them around. I, on playgroup leaders advice, choose a really confident kid who he idealised and invited them for a playdate. I swear this kid had no idea who my son was before the mum pointed them out. The advantage was that this kid just told DS2 to what to do and DS2 complied and so a friendship was born...

I taught in reception last year (until I went on maternity leave in May). Now I'm sitting on the other side of the fence as ds1 started school in Sept.

Imo children start school very young in this country and therefore it is no surprise that some take a little while to settle in and find their feet. But let me reassure you that it does happen. I would urge you to speak to the class teacher about any concerns.

The reception year is a big deal for the children there is a lot for them to take in. Try not to get too worried about things like lunch. Little portions of a variety of things is a good idea. Or you could try getting your dc to pack the lunch with you the night before. Children really like familiarity and it might help them to know what to expect in their lunchbox.

I don't mean to sound preachy. The issues in our house are about behaviour outside of school. (Tantrums/fighting with younger sister/pulling out his hair absent mindedly!)

I hope I have provided some reassurance this all looks a bit rambly to me!

DS4 now full time and seems to loving it. A few wobbles in week 2 but ok now.

Doesn't eat much lunch, he is a slow eater and I don't think he has time. Will make smaller but more nutritiuos lunches

Went to first parents' eve tonight, his teacher has no worries and he has settled well. She agrees he might be colour blind though so we need to test him.

Lewisfan your ds hasn't settled yet. We haven't had parents evening yet so I may not be so happy with how its all going when I hear their opinion!

However, reading your experiences so far, just made me more convinced school at four is too much too young and that nursery is a much more appropriate environment for our children. I can't quite believe that a baby (and to me a 4 year old is a baby) should be compared to any other child in the class. It is all so new and unfamiliar. Surely schools job is to enable children to settle at their own rate and grow in confidence, not expect them to hit a 'target' for dressing/undressing quickly, control a pencil etc etc. Your ds will get there when he is ready. That may not be the same time as some of the others but he will get there.

The friendships thing is difficult, because if he makes friends then the whole school thing will probably make more sense to him. Agree trying to pair him with another child in the class through a play date (hate that word) is a good idea. Did he make friends at nursery? If he did then he will when he gains in confidence. You poor thing - I bet you just want to gather him up and protect him

Do you think the school will be supportive? Let us know how things are going - I'm no help but just wanted you to know we are thinking of you

dd2 has found it very easy, like issys dd she is second child, bumptious and old for her year (oct birthday). My only concern is that they are giving her year one work to do (tis a mixed year class) and she seems a bit resentful that she often has to do the writing and descriptive part of the class project rather than the painting and making part.

Only tears on one day when I was going to london so not going to pick her up. Oh and apparently she raised merry hell during a show of Sleeping Beauty by demanding to be allowed to go back to her classroom as she was scared of the bad witch 'you dont UNDERSTAND,' she shouted at the head, 'i am only 4 and my mum doesnt let me WATCH THINGS LIKE THIS'

I like the fact that the teachers decide who goes full time after half term - this means that some of the little ones are still doing half days until xmas and those who are not quite ready yet. Dd1 did this last year and it was definitely the best thing for her.

Enid at your daughter. I think she was probably right too!

Enid, your dd sounds great!

DD doing well and got good report on teacher's night.

She is totally at ease with the 8.30 to 3.15 schedule as nursery had previously been till 5.30 so this seems like a breeze to her.

She has made a girl friend although I think it can be a bit tempestuous and she actually much prefers the quieter boys who are less prone to moods apparently.

We know in advance what lunch she is going to have each week and she says that she tries it. We suspect she doesn't eat much but her teachers would let us know if it was a problem. Peer pressure probably works quite well and I'm sure she tries things there she wouldn't eat at home.

We let her choose her own snack for elevenses (from choice of carrot sticks, grapes, cheese, cucumber) as this seems to make her happy.

She does get very tired though and we let her veg out when she gets home. She gets a reading book every evening but we don't go through it until the next morning when we do it together over breakfast. It makes mornings a bit more hectic but much better than looking at it the night before when she is tired. She is also more likely to remember the more difficult words when tested as well.

We shall have to see how she gets on when Reception start swimming classes in January but as she is used to changing herself at the swimming baths we don't see this as a problem.

Thanks for all your sympathies.

DS is an October baby so is one of the eldest (oldest?!) in his class, but he just day-dreams too much!

Have had a word with him and the teacher anyway (seperately) and have decided that a sticker chart is the way to go, along with some moulded-handled scissors and a triangular, soft-leaded pencil.

He came home today with a fireworks colouring-in sheet and the improvement is AMAZING!! I think the idea of going bowling in 4 weeks (with weekly rewards too) is what is spurring him on at the moment.

He is more than ok with the day - his nursery hours were longer, I just think that because he has these writing issues (not pushing the pencil down hard enough) that he lost interest. He is also incredibly shy and is only just reading to the teacher as well as he does at home - it is like DS has had to gain her trust (which is fair enough).

I do think that the Government of this country expect FAR too much of 4/5yr olds though - I mean, so what if they can't write THAT well, so what if they can't cut ON the line - it will come, in their own time. They spend the first 4 yrs telling us kids develop differently and don't worry, but the moment they are in school they are meant to all be at the same level, all at the same time and woe betide anyone that drops behind/can't keep up! It is a crazy country!

Oops I forgot to add; I have made a play-date before and to be honset, I don't want to do it again because DS doesn't get invited back to theirs a few weeks later.

I KNOW that it isn't really about that but I do begrudge the parents that let me cater for their kids, entertain them and look after them and then not return the invite/favour.

Oh well, will think on it a bit more when the house is decorated (I have also had depression for the past yr so not sure that has entirely helped... am getting out of it though now)

Goodness, sorry to go on!

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I know what you mean about the playdates Lewisfan, but to be honest, you need to break a few eggs to make an ommelette.
If your ds does not get invited back, then that particular child was not the right friend for your ds. I.e. there was no spark between them. If on one playdate you find that particular child who likes your ds, and pesters his mum to invite your ds for tea, then you have done it and found your ds his first friend.

My ds is in Y4 now (he wa 8 in August) and when I think of the numbers of children I had over for tea I shudder. Sometimes ds did get invited back, sometimes he did, sometimes it lead to a friendship, sometimes it did not. We don't know until we try.

I know it is hard though, I really don't like having 'playdates' (I dislike them as much as I dislike the actual word ) and dread it for weeks in advance, but the dc enjoy them and it helps with their socialisation skills, which in turn helps them find, make and keep friends.

Sometimes he did, sometimes he didn't

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