Multiples with Differing Abilities

[ViewsAreMine]

First things first, please pardon me if this is the wrong forum for this post.

I've got summer-born twin daughters who turn 7 next year. Both are doing well academically and have so far not given us or the teachers any cause for concern. Having said that, one is much stronger academically than the other which is making us think that we might end up not getting both of them into the same secondary school should they sit the 11+ exams. We're aiming for the state selective schools near us as we are not too keen on the non-selective ones as they are not as good. I am wondering if this means we are forced to go private and leave before the 11+ , perhaps aim for 7+ entry, in order to ensure they end going to the same school?

Have you thought about them going to different schools? Have two daughters with very different abilities and skills who were always being compared in primary so sent them to different secondary schools. Worked out well. They are now in their twenties having got degrees and doing well in their chosen careers. One just took longer to get to her full potential but was getting dispirited.

You are putting a huge amount of pressure on both yourselves and your children if the main focus is getting them both into the same state selective school. You are much better looking at them as individuals and finding the school that works best for them in their own right. I would hate to be the twin who doesn’t make the grade or has to always live in the shadow of the other.

Going to a prep school also doesn’t guarantee you a pass at 11+ grammar schools so joining at 7+ might be an absolute waste of time if that’s your sole reason for moving them.

I know twins one of whom went to a Bucks grammar and the other a secondary modern. You guessed it, the one at the grammar got worse A-level results than the other. The school environment and how the child fits in is what leads to success, not the list of exam results from children in the past.

I think they’d both be better going to the right school for them individually, if they are very different they are unlikely to benefit from the same school - and if one is significantly brighter, it may be more relaxing for their relationship to be apart in school hours. Sounds like the more able one will get into a grammar, and you might be taking the other one private - great if you have that option.

Why do they need to go to the same secondary school? Is it because they are twin? Many people's children end up at different secondary schools for a host of reasons. I would ensure that whatever your plan is that both of your children can go to a good school that's the right fit for them as individuals. So if the local options aren't good, I'd make an alternate plan for the child you fear might not get into the grammar schools.

If they're different academically, the same school is unlikely to be good for both girls. Many secondaries have a bus service.
If they're happy where they are just wait.

Why aren’t you treating them as individuals?

They are 6 years old!

Thank you so much for your input.
I should have mentioned that the reason we want them together is simply because of the logistical challenges that come with doing two school runs and all the after school commitments that'll come. We simply will not be able to support it. They're and have always been treated as individuals (they're fraternal which makes it even easier to remember to do soo). They're also very close and soo the thought of schooling apart may not appeal - this just speculation for now.

We have not discussed this with the girls so they're none the wiser (thanks for the reminder @Motnight about young they are though your figures are wrong). We're just trying to think ahead so we can plan for a setup that works for them and we can comfortably support. Not too long ago, it was not unusual for LEAs to place one twin in one school and one in a different one.

Thank you for the input.

School runs and after school commitments are something most people have to manage. They might want to do completely different after school activities by then anyway. Your dc are only six at the moment so it's probably hard to imagine them getting buses etc. on their own.

Virtually all secondary school pupils make their own way to school even for quite complicated journeys in London. Unless you live really rurally I'd be surprised if this wasn't the case where you live. Do a straw poll on the secondary thread and you'll see that almost everyone's kids would be mortified to be picked up and dropped off at school everyday.

So they are 5 years old?!

I have a friend who had identicals one of whom just passed the 11+ and the other just failed ...I think about 5 points between them. They went to two different schools and each flourished. Actually I think the one at the comp was head boy in their last year.

OP

I have twin daughters (15), both academically bright but with different interests- one is science and one is arty. They go to different secondary schools and we've not had any logistical problems. The school are actually in different directions but as secondary school kids tend to get themselves to school there's no problem with lifts etc.

Also, parents' evening is on different nights so no trying to juggle appointments for both of them and squeeze in 10 appointments each on one night!

They're both happy with their choice of school (both schools are Ofsted rated outstanding).

If it’s a grammar county you might not like the secondary that’s not the grammar. Some are excellent but a few are not. So they might not be comprehensives at all.

I think it’s fairly normal in an area where there are 11 plus exams for twins to be split. Transport is no doubt available and you make the best of it. Like everyone else. If you accept a grammar place for one, the other, if not getting the pass mark won’t get to the grammar school. You could send them both to the same school that’s not a grammar. Some people do. Or, as you suggest, pay for one or both.

Lots of time left to worry about this though!