Yr6 lonely

[MrPickles73]

DD is yr 6. She has always had plenty of friends and enjoyed school. However since Jan lockdown she is lonely and upset because her two best friends seem to be avoiding her. I contacted one of the other mums and DD and one of the other girls had a chat which all went well. Turned out they were using something other than teams to communicate. So DD cheered up. Then she went for a walk with the girl and they got on fine and everything was normal. I set DD up with this same chat account thing that her friends have. So was all excited and they all hooked up. However after half a day it seems all communications stopped again and DD is again in tears...
I've asked her if she's done something to upset them and she says she has no idea. She has been friends with them for 3 years so I am baffled. She doesn't want me to do anything but at the same time is very unhappy. I've told her to call the other girl and tell her how she is feeling. What else can I do?

Nothing. It's awful isn't it? This age is notorious for this sort of thing. I've two girls...seen it and been there, got the badge.

Just continue to tell DD that she's done nothing wrong and that it will blow over. Get her involved in some remote clubs perhaps...what are her interests?

Are there only two friends? You said she had lots of friends. I would make an effort to contact the others. Two’s company and three’s a crowd. Sad but often true. My DD had issues with friendships that surfaced in y5. By y6 it had blown over but by then we had decided DD was going to a different school from them for secondary to get away. A fresh start.

Y6 is spoilt for many dc already. I really do hope her other friends come to the rescue. Do contact them! Someone else might be lonely.

Thankyou for your replies.
I have encouraged her to reach out to others but it is all via online chat and it seems it is all very cliquey (more so than usual) and they have fixed groups . There are others in this clique other than the 2 friends but they were the closest. I appreciate 3 can be awkward with girls. She is usually a happy child and it's been 3 weeks of on off crying.
I've asked her to call her friend and ask her what's going on. It's a hard time to have no friends .
Should I ask her teacher at parents evening? She's finished brownies and no interest in guides. All the sports clubs are currently shut down.

I think it's just a weird time. People's brains react to lockdown by reducing the number of people they interact with. I'm an introvert and I've become pretty rubbish at speaking to everyone other than a very small circle (triangle really ). My 14 year old has lovely friends and is speaking to them little as well. She says it's awkward, no one has anything to say. I think of it that we are just "on a break" and things will pick up once they can mix again.

We have found Minecraft and Among Us useful as something DC can do together on phones etc. It's easier than just chatting. But it obviously depends on what her friends like to do online.

No real advice but and sympathy for your daughter because mine has been here too and it's horrid. When they don't respond to your messages and yet you can see they've seen them, and then mum takes you out for coffee and a cake by way of compensation and then you see your two "friends" walking along the street together.

My DD is older, Year 11, but lockdown has damaged her friendships and she can't wait to get to college, away from certain "friends" and to meet some new people. Like your DD, it's not that she doesn't have friends, just that she's on the periphery of a group and the main characters seem to set the tone and rule the roost.

At least your Dd has that natural break of Y7 ahead of her too. Just hope she doesn't end up in the same classes as these people when she goes to high school (you could request that she doesn't).

Just an idea but... sometimes it is hard to talk when there is nothing much to talk about. These days are all the same. I agree with the other poster about suggesting calls with other children while they play video games but she might not be into video games. I have a friend in a similar situation. She had her daughter organise a virtual sleepover.. invited 4 or 5 girls to ‘watch’ a move together, got the pop corn ready.. they can also play games online like charades where they can have a good giggle. Get in their pjs. Play truth or dare. I think House Party is a good app for this? It might not fix the situation with her close friends but it is something different and she can have a good giggle (hopefully).