Second move Y5?

[Rosie55]

I'd be glad of advice on whether to move DS Y5 a second time.

We moved house to a new town last summer and got a place in a school that was fairly low on our list, but were glad of a place at all in an oversubscribed area. The school actually seems fine - Ofsted RI due to outcomes and making efforts to improve - though it's hard to judge when Covid meant we couldn’t go and see assemblies etc. The home learning at the moment is quite good.

Up until lockdown he was ok at school but not really liking it. He's a quiet boy who doesn't like football or video games, and says that’s all the other children talk about and they think he’s weird. They did let him join in games at playtime. On Fridays he used to say he wasn’t going back the next week and it was a nasty school. A lot of that probably comes from missing his old friends. When I asked him once if he’d prefer to be at a different school in our new town he said no. Now he’s at home and a bit bored he’s more positive about school.

A place has just come up at a school we preferred. It looks to be more academic, which would suit him, probably with more children from a background like his (e.g. professional parents). It's also 3 miles away in busy traffic, instead of the walk to the current school of less than a mile.

Moving him would be a risk - he might not be able to break into friendship groups in the new school and it would be another disruption. If he'd got a place at the other school originally we'd have taken it despite the distance, but he's halfway through Y5 now. We haven't told him about the place yet. WWYD?

Will he be moving schools in Y6 or later (at 13)?

I moved my DS in Year 5, but only into a different form - it was a 3 form entry state primary and he was put into the 'wrong' form after the Reception shuffle, spent 3 years very unhappy and after a change of head, they FINALLY moved him in the middle of Y5 and he had a very happy last 18 months or so.

In the current circumstances, I would be wary of moving schools if he's going to be leaving at the end of Y6 anyway - who knows how long there will be virtual school for, and if he doesn't go back until September, into a final year where it's all about preparing them for secondary, whilst looking back on their time at school, I think he may suffer a bit. Breaking into friendship groups for Y6 and then having to start again in Y7 would have been too much for my quiet, non sporty boy at that point.

Sorry, meant to add if you are happy with the home school provision, look at what the other school is offering - I was stunned during the first lockdown that THE most sought after school where parents spend upwards of £1m on houses to get in (and the catchment is literally measured to centimetres in some years), was doing even less than our good, but average primary! The grass isn't always greener!!

Thanks Panicmode1. Yes he will be moving at the end of Y6, which isn't very far away. It's likely that more children from the school we've been offered than from the current one would end up at the same secondary as him, but I know friendships change anyway in Y7.

I've actually just looked at the home school provision for the other school and you're right - it's not as good (as in: not so many live lessons - not everyone will think live lessons are better, but they do help DS focus).

Also, glad that your DS had a happy time in the end - shame it took so long.

I suppose I would be asking what he would gain, given school is virtual at the moment in any case.....but I completely empathise with a non football loving child finding it hard to fit in and wanting to make it better. Mine used to be called 'The Professor' - just because he loved books and LEGO and didn't have a clue about football (we are an oval ball house).

If it's any consolation he has absolutely blossomed at his (single sex) secondary, met the most lovely group of boys on the first day, and they've been friends all the way through (now Y12).

Good luck with the decision.

Thank you. It's lovely to hear secondary school worked out for your DS.

We moved our child the beginning of year 6. Far happier all round , id go with your gut feeling. You want him to end his primary school years on a positive before moving to secondary.

Thank you greenleaves200. We've decided not to move him in the end. Glad the move worked out well for your child.

We moved twice ones in year 2 and then in year 6. It was initially difficult for by DD but in a few weeks she made friends and adjusted.
She has now realised that moving schools is not that bad but is still not fond of the idea as she has to make friends again.
She mentioned that girls initially rejected to make friends with her because they already had friends and did not want to make new ones.