Teacher getting involved in whstsapp

[bettycat81]

My DS (yr6) came to me last night and showed me a conversation in a WhatsApp group that he had been added into. He was not involved in the conversation.

Basically child A and B were being awful to each other and using some very horrid language. Both as bad as each other. Child A's non household relative, who is also a teacher at the school, left a voice note, via Child A's phone, announcing themselves as teacher X and telling child B to apologise.

Should they have got involved outside of school? It stinks of nepotism to me. Also the teacher has unwittingly revealed themselves to be breaking tier 4 rules which my Son picked up on.

@Dominicwestsscooter

I’d be more concerned with why a year 6 child needs a mobile phone.

My DC were traveling (over a mile), on their own, to school from Year 5. They had a mobile phone (granted a brick phone, not a smartphone) in case of both emergencies and so they could let us know that they had decided to pop into X's house on the way home. Not unusual for children of this age to be doing this and why wouldn't you give them a phone?

WhatsApp (and specifically unsupervised WhatsApps) for a Year 6 child is a different question.

Perfectly normal for kids to get phones in Year 6. DS was pretty much expected to have a phone right from the start of Year 7 (for school email/homework app, sometimes learning in class etc), plus it's invaluable for coordinating with me over transport/pickups, and it's much better if they have a bit of time to learn to use their phone before they start secondary. Also, sometimes they start to meet new secondary friends at open days etc and can then start to chat a bit over the summer.

As parents, regardless of the excuses a d talks the op has given, it's unreasonable that apps and social media means for 16 year olds is in use since the CHILD was 6 or 7! Imo that is neglectful and totally inappropriate Co duct of the parent.

Those saying report the teacher. WTF. The teacher was trying to resolve the issues a d maybe actually reduce the potential for future issues if the instigators realise adults are reading the messages too.

I'm sure the op sounds the sort who wants to report as let's face it that's the whole slant of this post. With no acknowledgement that she has permitted her child to agree to ts and Cs for a programme not designed for children and she's worried whether the teacher is breaking a covid rule? Not even beginning to imagine the pore tial reasons for why they could be together, such as childcare or whether the message was forwarded.

As a governor for a number of schools, I'd look down on the parent for reporting this and actually be so inclined to suggest this is referred to social services as if using apps for an inappropriate age group who knows what other inappropriate materials are being viewed.

@MotherExtraordinaire

As parents, regardless of the excuses a d talks the op has given, it's unreasonable that apps and social media means for 16 year olds is in use since the CHILD was 6 or 7! Imo that is neglectful and totally inappropriate Co duct of the parent.

Those saying report the teacher. WTF. The teacher was trying to resolve the issues a d maybe actually reduce the potential for future issues if the instigators realise adults are reading the messages too.

I'm sure the op sounds the sort who wants to report as let's face it that's the whole slant of this post. With no acknowledgement that she has permitted her child to agree to ts and Cs for a programme not designed for children and she's worried whether the teacher is breaking a covid rule? Not even beginning to imagine the pore tial reasons for why they could be together, such as childcare or whether the message was forwarded.

As a governor for a number of schools, I'd look down on the parent for reporting this and actually be so inclined to suggest this is referred to social services as if using apps for an inappropriate age group who knows what other inappropriate materials are being viewed.

As a governor you should be able to realise the difference between a year 6(y6) child and a 6/7 year old.

Also you should know about safeguarding and professional conduct.

If she wanted to react as a carer/relative she shouldn't have used her authority as a teacher.

If she wanted to act as a teacher she should've used the proper actions and channels.

She can't have it both ways.

I think social services would be overwhelmed if they got referrals for all under 16s using WhatsApp. I hope you're a bit more pragmatic as a governor in real life.

As a governor for a number of schools, I'd look down on the parent for reporting this and actually be so inclined to suggest this is referred to social services as if using apps for an inappropriate age group who knows what other inappropriate materials are being viewed.

I don't believe for a second that a govenor of a school would genuinely do anything so stupid. You're saying you'd report to social services the entire class because they're all using whatsApp. Whatever the T&Cs all kids use whatsapp by year 7, SS very obviously would not welcome you wasting their time with such a ridiculous complaint.
The teacher in question could have insisted that their nephew removed himself from whatsApp if that was her concern then, instead she decided to take sides in an unpleasant playground dispute in which her nephew had also acted badly.

OP has nowhere suggested reporting it but like most posters seems to find it inappropriate.

Unprofessional, inappropriate and could be a form of intimidation ie; ‘I’m a teacher, I’m going to get you into trouble if you don’t apologise’.
HT and governors for a complaint should suffice.

But every time parents undermine other adults (particularly adults in authority) the seed is sown in children not to listen. Look at what is going on here a young child is being taught it is ok to break rules (What's Ap), it is ok to report a teachers for trying to intervene in name calling ( however clumsily), it is ok to question his teachers adult behaviour ('re covid). Be very careful, he will be a young adult soon and this attitude may be directed at you.

@Emeeno1

It's not at all undermining the teacher for a child to show their parent a worrying WhatsApp message. Adults in authority won't always be right and children should absolutely be encouraged to tell their parents if they think something which has happened is wrong. I would always encourage my children to tell me if their teacher did something that worried them. (The eldest is 9 and so far the only time they've told me anything where I agreed the teacher was wrong was the answer to a maths problem which the teacher had got wrong. I'll still always listen and talk about it though).

Like it or not many rules are broken universally. The teacher in question obviously wasn't concerned about underaged children using whatsApp as her nephew was on it and she actually got involved herself rather than insisting he leaves.

@Emeeno1

But every time parents undermine other adults (particularly adults in authority) the seed is sown in children not to listen. Look at what is going on here a young child is being taught it is ok to break rules (What's Ap), it is ok to report a teachers for trying to intervene in name calling ( however clumsily), it is ok to question his teachers adult behaviour ('re covid). Be very careful, he will be a young adult soon and this attitude may be directed at you.

The WhatsApp age thing you may have a point. I'm not getting into that debate.

However not all teachers are always right, professional,acting in the best interest of the children ,appropriate etc. Sometimes questioning is ok. Sometimes reporting is appropriate.

No , just because she dealt with name calling it doesn't mean that anything goes.

As for Covid rules,a lot of the children know them, they have them drummed into them on telly,at home and at school. Realising a teacher might be breaking the rules is not a failing on the part of the child or their parents.

I don't think it's right or healthy for children to (be forced to) believe teachers are perfect,infallible and always right.

@AccidentallyOnSanta
The op stated her y6 child has had WhatsApp for several years. So he was 6 or 7 at that time!

She hasn't acted as a teacher or a relative. The two are inextricably linked. She has merely identified who she is.

Professional conduct etc, means that she equally shouldn't be standing by St the start of a two weeks holiday complicit to obvious cyber bullying.

And I agree it's all inappropriate use of social media. And yes as a governor if a parent of a child using an inappropriate app came to report a teacher in this scenario, I would be hoping the HT reported this inappropriate neglectful behaviour. The potential safeguarding implications are huge. So yes it would backfire big time on any parent bringing this my way.

Are you sure it was the teacher? Not another child with a fake name announcing themselves as the teacher to try and win the argument?

Inappropriate by the teacher. All teachers I know refuse to get involved with children on social media - and for good reason. Totally unprofessional.

And as for the poster that claims to be a school governor - well words fail me. No governor I know would take the position you have ( I was one). It's a reminder that not everyone on here is who they say they are.

I’m sure the teacher would already have flagged it up to the head teacher. Cyber bullying is a serious safeguarding issue. I would imagine you and the parents of the other child, together with the teacher will be contacted by the head teacher in the New Year.

[quote MotherExtraordinaire]@AccidentallyOnSanta
The op stated her y6 child has had WhatsApp for several years. So he was 6 or 7 at that time!

She hasn't acted as a teacher or a relative. The two are inextricably linked. She has merely identified who she is.

Professional conduct etc, means that she equally shouldn't be standing by St the start of a two weeks holiday complicit to obvious cyber bullying.

And I agree it's all inappropriate use of social media. And yes as a governor if a parent of a child using an inappropriate app came to report a teacher in this scenario, I would be hoping the HT reported this inappropriate neglectful behaviour. The potential safeguarding implications are huge. So yes it would backfire big time on any parent bringing this my way.[/quote]
You do realise OP's child wasn't the one doing the name calling or bullying right? He just told/showed his mother what happened which is fair enough and pretty mature for the kid. Also it's just this year that he was allowed to add friends to it, up until now he used it to communicate with his father.

The OP also says both children involved where calling eachother names, so who decides who the bully is?

So you'd report the parents but not the teacher who not only deemed the WhatsApp use acceptable but got involved in it herself? And make the other child(who might be a victim,a bully, or equally guilty) apologise using her position in school?
If it really was cyber bullying she could've taken screenshots, advise the child to leave the group/block the other child, inform his parents and inform class teacher/head/pastoral care over the holidays. There are ways to deal with this.

Seriously, priorities.

A teacher should know better. End of.

@Fluffyowl00

He was not involved in the conversation.

Why would OP be contacted?

Basically child A and B were being awful to each other and using some very horrid language. Both as bad as each other.

I'm less inclined to throw around accusations of cyber bullying or assume who the victim is ,if there is one based on nothing much.

Sorry, My bad. I forgot mumsnet is full of experts who went to school once.

@Fluffyowl00

Sorry, My bad. I forgot mumsnet is full of experts who went to school once.

Do I have to mention I'm school staff for my opinion to be valid or something?

My Son has had WhatsApp since he was aged 8 or 9 for reasons briefly explained above but also after other "child safe" messaging apps kept being closed down or proved harder to use/maintain. He added friends in March this year, aged 10.5 for reasons also previously explained. I standby my decisions.

Both child A and B were as bad as each other and I know that B has been reprimanded by their parents. I also know that child A's family have consistently broken rules around covid which is why I may possibly have jumped to conclusions about the source of the message. I do know that it was the teacher talking due to some distinctive features of the message.

I am not going to report this to the school, it is not my circus nor my monkeys and I no longer have evidence of what went on since deleting the group, but it didn't sit right which is why I asked for opinions.

Not all schools have the same social media policies or similar.
What is unacceptable in one school is different to another.
The group may have its own rules and admin to administer them.

@cabbageking

Not all schools have the same social media policies or similar. What is unacceptable in one school is different to another. The group may have its own rules and admin to administer them.

It's a kid's WhatsApp group.

The children were behaving awfully to each other.
This should be the focus. Not who addressed it.

@cabbageking

The children were behaving awfully to each other. This should be the focus. Not who addressed it.

That already has been addressed. The issue was that both kids were behaving badly and the teacher took the side only of her nephew (who also behaved badly) when it should have been left to the children's respective parents.

Teachers are often asked to sort out WhatsApp stuff. They have to do all sorts of stuff that is really out of school/parents responsibility.

I would delete the what's app account immediately. Why dies a yr 6 child need a phone and even if they do they don't need WhatsApp. If the child has no mobile this problem wouldn't have occured in the furs place .