Ok, I have decided to try and do flexi schooling after half term, not sure where to start!

[FlightAttendant]

Thankyou to all of you who advise me last week about sending Ds part time, you have all got me thinking. This morning I was lying in bed next to him (we are, it seems, still co sleeping! ) and he was snoring away, and I was going through the whole thing in my head.
He was only four in May. He managed pretty well on his half days at school, which they did for 4 weeks at the beginning of term.
The full days were way too much for him.

He came home angry, exhausted, then got ill and had almost the whole week off before half term. It wasn't anything specific, just a bad cough which was suppressed most of the time, but he was so pale and just tired out that when I sent him in on the Tuesday, the teacher told me after school how tired he had been, and I took that as a signal to keep him off till he was back to normal.
I've also had a lot of hyper behaiour after school, including being quite nasty to me and very awkward etc. which I'm told is very common.
I think the answer is to go back to half days, and possibly only four of them, so Fridays off as well.
I'm not sure about a few things:

How do we then stand about free school meals? I was counting on them after H?T as we are on a low income and he has a limited repertoire when it comes to packed lunches!
Might they not be available if he is only staying half the day?

Secondly, what about missing things/integrating with the rest of the class - I have a feeling no one else does half days, though they all are tired, poor things - and will it mean he can't be part of say, the Christmas play etc. as I don't want him to feel left out.

Thirdly, how on earth do I even talk to the teacher about it all? She is rushed off her feet and there is never time to speak to her, and when I do say anything about anything, it doesn't get done, or she forgets. Do I just approach the head/admissions lady, instead? And can I do this over half term or are they all at home like us!?!

Thanks for any advice etc. - I am particularly worried in case the school says no, they won't tolerate reduced hours, 'fit in or leave' -type thing. And it is a very good school and the others round here are awful.

Or could I try my luck and take him out till he's five?

I just feel that he is obviously, physically not coping with full time school.

Sorry for the typos, Ds2 is lying on my lap!

Don't expect anyone to be at school during half-term. Whilst teachers may be working in school/ at home, they will not be answering the phone.

I think you should ask for a meeting with the head & class teacher to discuss how this would work & if it is a possibility - you could then address issues such as school dinners, participating in activities etc. Some things, such as trips or rehearsals for school plays may take place during the time your DS is at home so it may be that he misses out on things for that reason.

I have never come accross a child who is in school part time so I don't know how it would work. As a teacher, my concern would be that it might be difficult to ensure your DS feels like part of the class and isn't upset at missing out on things. I also know how exhausting school can be for the little ones and, as a parent, I totally understand your desire to keep him at home.

HTH - good luck

Flight attendent

ds1 was only 4 years 1 month when he started schoool. He did 2 weeks of half days then straight into full time. He was still having a nap during the summer before he started!! ds1 gets even more 'exuberant' when tired and gets totally out of control.

The school were great but I did explain to the teacher at the outset that he was the youngest (even though he is tall for his age) and that he has very early starts (5am on light mornings). She and the head were very keen to play it by ear and said that it was very common that the younger children find full days difficult to begin with.

DS1 managed until the week before half term then like your ds, he came down with a bug. Again, at Christmas, it got to the week of his evening Christmas performance. I told his teacher that I did not think he would be AWAKE for it. That day, she rang me just after lunch and said that he was looking a little unwell and could I collect him. When I got to the school, she whispered that he needed a nap and to come back refreshed for the performance.

I Think you need to discuss it with school as with ds1, they would have allowed more flexibility had we needed it.

Good luck

I don't have any specialist knowledge of this, although I am a teacher.

I would be very surprised if any schools would be enthusiastic about the idea - especially if it's a 'good' school with a waiting list. Yes, you could take him out for a while until he is older, but would you get the place again further down the line? Again, I do understand that you are worried he is not able to cope physically, but I think most little ones are exhausted at first and he might have adapted by next term.

Good luck with whatever happens.

These two links on flexi-schooling might help
www.home-education.org.uk/articles-flexi-school.htm
and
www.education-otherwise.org/Publications%20Files/Leaflets/Flexi-schooling%20oct05.pdf
As regards school meals I would think that you still qualify for them as the school would receive full funding for your child even though he is only there part-time.
You will need to make an appointment to speak with the headteacher as it is the headteacher's decision whether to allow flexi-schooling or not. Then you work out the finer details between you both as to what you require and what the school is willing/able to do.
Good luck.

A little girl in dds school, August born, ended up only going mornings, whilst everyone else went full time.
There didn't ever seem to be a problem. The child was happier, therefore the mum was happier, and the teacher was fine about it.
I think she ended full time in the summer term.

Thankyou all very much, Juuule I have read the links and they are very helpful.
Yes, I wasn't sure if it was a good idea to just persevere as I'm sure they all adapt eventually - it just strikes me that if he'll be readier one day, why put him through the strain of it when he's not, iyswim?
I think I know where to begin now, will try to make an appointment with the head next week and see what he says (I am quite scared of him, very traditional man !)

neither of my boys did full-time in reception

ds1 arrived half way through the year from a steiner kindy (pah!) where he'd only done mornings so the head suggested keeping on with what he was used to

In the second half of the summer term he changed to 3 full days and 2 days off

he started full-time in Y1 and was fine (well apart from having TS and AS and ADHD ) - ds was being assessed for a statement so that probably made them more flexible

ds2 did mornings for the first term, then stayed for lunch in the second term then in the summer term did 3 full days, then 4 full days and again started full time in Y1 - he's just started Y3 and is one of the most popular children in the class (acc to his teacher) so obviously integrating wasn't a problem long-term

it was definitely the right approach for them

Just to add, in my LA, children who are summer and spring born are part-time (leave before lunch) for the whole of the first term. Until recently, summer born children didn't actually start full-time until after Easter.

White it may be a little tricky to organise around one child, schools can certainly 'do' things like the literacry and numeracy hour, plus PE, assembly etc etc within just the morning session.

Personally, (and I have children who aren't tired out by school - much to my chagrin), I wouldn't want more than one term of part time. I think children learn a lot in reception about just 'being at achool' and learning to handle themselves there, tiredness and all. Friendships form, you can do after school play dates etc. Plus, the afternoons are often spent doing more 'fun' stuff than the mornings - all great opportunities for a child to get positive experience of school.

Obviously though, you are the best judge of what your child is capable of. If you want part-time, then I think the school should do their very best to accommodate that.