School exclusion - is it confidential?

[ChocolateFace]

DS was temporarily excluded form school last term, for an incident which didn't directly include any other child. DH and I were upset, and chose not to tell anyone out side the family about it. I've recently discovered, however, that it's common knowledge at the school gates. Do schools tell the other children if a child is excluded?

How old is he?

I work in secondary and sometimes we (staff) are told formally about temporary exclusions, sometimes we aren't. But the student always know all about it before I do!

The other children will know and tell their parents. Thus the gossip spreads I would imagine.

DS is 8.

Well , its kind of hard to keep it a secret! Of course, depends what your son did, but usually its because of an incident or incidents that children have seen/are aware of. So then they put two and two together, or else they ask "Why isnt so and so at school today?" and then they may get told. OTOH if it was due to something that other kids were unaware of I wouldnt have thought school would make it public.

I feel for you, it must be horrid to feel your son is being gossiped about.

The school does not tell the children.

Where I work (in secondary) the staff are informed of an exclusion, although not always told the reasons why the child was exculded.

But the kids work it out, ime

Did any other chn see the incident that led to the exclusion and know that your ds was in trouble on that day? If so then they may have put two and two together

either that or children tend to put things together from an 'investigation' of an issue.

I'm cross everybody seems to know, but considering they do know, the mums have been lovely to me, and really sweet to DS.

No idea what the incident would be, but ime every other mother of boys would probably be thinking "there but for the grace of God go I" - ie the fact that your ds has been excluded is in no way a reflection on you.

Also ime they might have been less gracious if your son was the class bully.

What mb said. I've never known anything happen in a secondary school to a student that the other kids didn't find out all about, I'm afraid. They absorb that kind of information like sponges - but have no recollection of anything they've been taught

Dh does school runs at the local primary, and quite often he hears "the gossip" about what's happened at our school before I do. Because the students go home and tell their parents, who then chat about it at the primary school gate next day.

As mere members of staff we often don't get told anything formally. But as I said earlier the students all always know.