Changing Schools In Reception Year

[HotColdHotBirthday]

My little one is currently in reception at our 3rd choice school. We're unhappy with it due to a few issues:

1 - child was on meds for toileting which school were aware of. On the first day had an accident but was scared to tell the teacher so came home dirty. The next day I asked if they could keep an eye on it, but my child came home soiled again and very upset by it.

2 - There is an aggressive child in the class. He has hit my child in the stomach and most recently given them a black eye - we didn't get so much as an incident form. Talking with other parents, he is causing their kids problems too. When I asked about it I was told 'they all usually get along great'... clearly not, because my child has been having actual nightmares about this boy hitting him :( I know we may find a bully wherever we go, but clearly the teacher is not managing it.

1. They are given reading books each week and my child has been stuck on the same very easy level for several weeks. When I asked why, I was told this is normal 'for confidence'.

1. Behaviour at home has worsened the longer they have attended, with my once very gentle, happy, confident child now withdrawn and moody.

1. My child says he does not like the school/teacher, and cries inconsolably every day about having to go (I would just chalk this up to a classic case of starting school-itis if the other issues weren't there).

So... There is another school locally with spaces, but it is not walkable, parking is difficult around the school and it also has no attached nursery for my younger child. I've discussed it gently with my child and he is determined he would like to move. I asked if he would miss his friends or his teachers and he said he wouldn't. What would you do?!

Sorry this was so long! x

Ultimately you and your child aren't happy so I would move.

@AvoidingRealHumans thanks, that's my gut feeling but something is holding me back and I'm not sure what!

You've not said anything positive about the school or your child's experience of it.
As for the other school, could you leave earlier and park further from the school and walk in? There's probably other nurseries your little one could go to.
Your child will be at the school for 7 years so it's important that they are happy, go with your gut.

I would move him, and write a strongly worded letter to the school telling them why.

Positive things about the school... ummm my child has made some friends.

Just thought of another negative, my child has just announced they watched TV again today, they seem to watch it all the time!

I'm answering my own question aren't I 😂

Move your poor son.

My only thoughts on this are:
My son watches tv every day too. They watch Numberblocks at pickup time at least (I'm guessing because of staggered pickups partly) and also at wet break times. I have no problems with this, I don't think it's excessive or pointless.
He's just started on books with sounds like ch or th as they've just learnt those. I would say at this point all you're aiming to do is get into the habits of reading without learning to hate it so it doesn't matter too much if it's easy. Also my son is a young one but maybe the 5 year olds are finding this too easy.
Certainly "before" you could go in to observe the classroom if you wanted too. I'm not sure that would be allowed now. I would definitely advise speaking to the teacher more and if you're still concerned asking for reassurance from someone more senior if that doesn't help any. I think without finding out as much as you can about these issues directly from an adult you won't be able to make a good judgement on the new school, whether it would be a better fit.
Anyway I hope some of this may help your thought processes.

Move them.

The teacher shouldn't be allowing the other child to assault yours.

It's not always possible to stop a child hitting, it happens in the blink of an eye and unless the teacher happens to be stood right there and looking in the right direction at the right time and has very quick reflexes they might not be able to stop it.
Realistically there are lots of children in school who may have behaviour issues for many different reasons and moving to another school you may find yourself in just the same situation.
Did the soiling happen just the once? Again in a class of 30 odd children with just one teacher and one TA, plus if they are trying to manage a child (or a couple) with behaviour issues, it's pretty hard for them to cope with soiling. Does your child have SEN? If not can they change themselves at all?

I have one who is on movicol for soiling - despite the school we initially picked's assurances it would be dealt with well - I've since been warned off the place by the continence nurses. We moved them before they started as we had an older sibling in Reception and it wasn't going well - similar reasons to yourself - and the TV watching was ridiculous. I used to walk the dog mid afternoon before school pickup and would walk in the park along the side of the school and you could see the TV show playing as early as 2pm (3.25 pickup). I moved them at the end of reception and I don't regret it at all - they hadn't gelled with their class at all, and I think it would have become a real problem if they'd carried on - and they just fit better in the school we moved them to.

School we moved them to also coped with DD2's soiling with kindness and caring, and were absolutely spot on identifying her other SEN issues and getting referrals in.