Do schools not distinguish between children whose parents help with homework and those that don’t?

[NellyJames]

DS has been upset as they have a HW ladder where they sit on certain rungs depending upon how the do in their homework. He’s middling and hasn’t really been moving. This is fine by me as it reflects where he is/should be I guess. However, he’s getting upset as he keeps asking me to help (answers not explaining concept) and says everyone else’s mum helps. I’ve been telling him this isn’t true but talking to some other mums they’ve confirmed they always help otherwise their child would get 4/5/6 questions wrong each week. I often see DS getting the wrong answer but I never correct him. The most I’ll do is encourage him to check them. Anyway, DS tells me these friends are up in the ‘clouds’ which is apparently the top rungs of the ladder. Now I feel bad but I still don’t want to help as surely his teacher needs to see which ones he doesn’t understand so she can target those with him? I emailed to ask earlier this week and she’s just emailed back confirming the ladder is used as motivation. Today one of his friends got the gold award for consistently ‘excellent standard of homework!’ I don’t know if I’m being unreasonable.

@Whiskyinajar, thank you too. I think I’ll speak to his teacher again.

Every child learns differently. It may have worked with your dd, but maybe you need a different approach with your ds.
I agree, maybe communicate with his teacher to see what support he needs.

I would reply to the teacher that it isn't motivating at all - or at least, only is for the children whose parents are doing their homework for them.
I am a teacher
There is no way I would have a public chart on the wall showing who got top marks in their homework.
Some dc would never have the chance to be in that top little section.

I would also expect - or, have always expected - my dc to do homework themselves.

What is the point in homework if it is being done by parents ?

I’m surprised by the responses. I think this ladder sounds shit!

My DS is same age. I make sure he does his homework (a challenge). When handwriting is awful I will ask him to try again, a little smaller, tidier, straighter. With maths he does it himself. And sometimes if he is rushing and sloppy he will get some stuff wrong - I will tell him and he can check / correct or hand in with mistakes. They need to learn to take responsibility for themselves at a level that’s age appropriate.

Teacher too here.

I wouldn't do a homework chart like this either. However, it actually does seem to be working to motivate your DS. He wants to get full marks. It's not the best form of motivation, but you can't deny it is working.

So help him to understand so that he can get full marks, and so that he can learn.

Primary homework is usually consolidation of topics taught. In some cases, maths topics are taught just once per year. So children who haven't fully understood in class can only usually fill these gaps by working out of class.

Thanks everyone. We’re going to start going through everything he gets wrong but then writing the new correct answer underneath his original incorrect one rather than rub out and write the correct answer so his teacher can see we’ve gone through it and that he needed help. Thanks

As a teacher I find this bizarre. I have never come across this type of reward system
In over 16 years teachers! Do you think the system could be rewarding other things such as: independence, handed in one time, over all effort and neatness. For me, homework is the lowest thing of importance during my week. We give it to keep parents happy really. I would also w courage your son to start the homework earlier and to go back with any problems to see the teacher; this is what I encourage my students to do. This system of the teachers can't just be about right and wrong answers.

What I would do it, you work in a different colour to your son's work so the teacher can see if you have written the answer or the steps taken to help him with the answer. Then just write a comment at the end of the task; even state how long it has taken it and his effort shown during the task.

*How I would do it:

Sorry for mistakes, dealing with a baby as I type! 🤦🏽‍♀️

The ladder is a dreadful idea.

My ds school make them stay in if they don't read 3 times, 30mins maths app and learn spelling and I think that's shit, but a fucking 'success' ladder!

My eldest ds' primary was brilliant - they always encouraged him to do homework but didn't penalise if he didn't. They also encouraged children to work independently- nowt worse than a man over invested parent. My eldest ds is now at secondary and really good at just getting in with his homework.

OP you are being too particular about how homework should be done and whether you are telling him too much. I think you should focus especially on his "wrong answers". Point out to him where he got it wrong, explain, try again. That is the important thing, who cares about the clouds and ladders. You are letting your child fall behind just for the sake of following some rules that are only in your head.

our school makes parents sign on the actual HW to confirm the children have been working independently, I think, it starts in year 3 or 4

this being said they don't mark it, nor look at it as they are not touching the books that come from home

so it's all a bit ridiculous, disheartening and disengaging

I don’t like the ladder idea but I always supervised homework for my primary aged DDs. It helped reinforce what they had learned at school and showed where I they needed a bit more help.

As a teacher, I always said to the parents who asked about helping that the goal was for the child to learn - it didn’t matter who gave help if it was needed.

One of the advantages of homework (for some children) is that they can get 1:1 focused support in a way that isn't necessarily practical in a class setting of 25-30 children.

For example, I have had a look at a few questions that my DD has got wrong in maths recently. She has twice written a 0 badly enough in a multi-step calculation to have then read it as a 6. A teacher could have found that, but they don't mark everything in the kind of depth that would pick things up like that. They don't have the time to do so.

If you can spend some time working out what your DS doesn't understand and scaffolding him to get the right answer, he will gain more from his homework than if you just leave is as wrong.

The homework ladder thing sounds like a whole load of nonsense. I don't think it does anyone any favours. Of course kids are going to be experiencing different levels of help at home and will be at different stages in different subject areas. Why publicise the whole thing?! Not helpful.
However, regarding helping your DC or not, I don't think teachers look on parents helping as a negative thing. I always gave a lot of help to my two through primary. In a busy class of 35, there was no way they were going to get much one to one help, so homework was a good opportunity for me to make sure they had understood basic concepts. I could break it down for them if they hadn't or drop a note to the teacher if they were really struggling. I used to put a note at the end so it was clear the level of help they'd had. Eg. "did question 1 independently. Needed significant help to complete the rest." I never had a teacher come back at me and say I shouldn't be helping. Ultimately it's about their education, not about jumping up and down a homework ladder.