Milbourne Lodge or Danes Hill for moving school halfway?

[Surreysorry]

I'm moving to the Elmbridge area in the summer holidays, and need to move my children from a small (two forms of entry), nurturing, all rounder type private school about a 45-minute school run car journey away. DS will be Year 6 (so moving at a terrible time for 11+!) and DD will be Year 4.

DS is academic, reasonably athletic but dislikes getting stuck in. Needs to be engaged in the right manner to get him enthused. DD is an all-rounder, enthusiastic and will probably fit in anywhere. The school they've been attending probably hasn't been pushing them hard enough to get into the right sort of school (I'm thinking Epsom College or St John's Leatherhead), but at the same time, I don't want them simply hothoused.

The schools we've been considering are Milbourne Lodge and Danes Hill, very different schools with the right results. I like the ethos of both, but I can't work out which might handle the tricky school transition better. There's a risk of culture shock just as exams are approaching. Milbourne's approach seems to be "they'll settle in just fine on their own", which may be true, or may be a little hands-off. Danes Hill is very big for children coming from a small school.

The traffic also seems to be a nightmare for Danes Hill, so finding somewhere to live that works for the current school and potential senior schools is also a question.

Is anyone able to give a view, please?

Is there really no way you can either move your son earlier or wait until after he's taken the 11+ as that first term in Y6 is a dreadful one to start at a new school just when they'll be writing references for the children but won't know your son properly at all.

If you really have to move, have you also looked at places like Ripley Court if you want co-ed?

Good luck!

Thanks for replying!

Well, it's a balance, isn't it? If I move them earlier, then their school year is disrupted. The main thing I want is not to unsettle them, so it's six of one and half a dozen of the other.

I don't know how references work, but perhaps in the circumstances they'll involve the current school in that process? I'll have to check how that point would work though, thanks. Moving earlier is possible, but of course we'd need to get moving on house sale and purchase, and that then means Summer Term at the earliest.

I did consider moving later, but actually I'm a little worried that their current school isn't doing enough to prepare them, and they seem to set their sights a little lower than the schools I'm targetting. I've resisted the dreaded tutoring so far, but now I've had to start that up just to prepare him a little.

I've heard of Ripley Court, but isn't that near Guildford? That would then a longer journey than their current school from the areas I'm considering: Esher/Claygate/Oxshott/Cobham. Ideally I'd like to live close to Epsom and Leatherhead to plan for the future schools, but I'm not sure there's an area there that's as nice, has good rail links to London, and also has a good prep school nearby.

I tend to think of Elmbridge as Weybridge and the bit near the A3 at Guildford so Claygate is a bit far from there.

Have you looked at Downsend too?

Yes, but with them going up to 16 now, they're a little less inviting, like they're stuck between two worlds.

Hi, I have friends with kids in both schools. You're certainly right when you say there are very different schools! I think the traffic is a nightmare everywhere & Milbourne has 2 other schools close by (my son is at Shrewsbury pre prep) so know how bad that gets. Hence don't traffic sway you.
Milbourne is v traditional & pushy and all about the academics. Unless your child is very academic and you're committed as a parent to that, your child can lose confidence. Although they do sport every day, they don't have very good sports facilities and will encourage children who are falling behind to reduce sport / music etc. Their tech etc aren't great. That's why we ruled out for our son as we didn't feel it prepared him for life.
Danes Hill has first class facilities. It is big but is divided up into 3 parts. I thought all the teachers were v engaged. However you are missing that small school, know every pupil aspect and so when they said the HM will meet with you to recommend schools as they approach their end of their time here, we thought how could he know them well. There tends to be a lot of celeb kids who go there and I have had heard stories of that being a bit clique but I also know nice down to earth parents there too.
Have you considered looking at Felton Fleet - a definite in between of the 2 options you outlined. smaller in size than DH and more all rounded than Milbourne. Other option is Downsend which would be great for you in Leatherhead/Epsom. Small & very good reputation. They will easily then get into St Johns.
If you can manage 2 school runs - why not look at Rowan for girls and Shrewsbury for boys. Both academic but will nurture more than Milbourne and have a broader curriculum.

Thanks for the detailed reply!

Both my children are academically strong but DS is a bit unmotivated. Milbourne is therefore either perfect for him, in terms of a kick up the behind, or it'll eat him alive. It may be great for them, but it feels like a bit of a gamble. Living near that school does seem to be the best location for us though, we love Claygate, and it would be easy to walk to school.

Having said that, getting the right school is probably more important. If we see Danes Hill and they give confidence that they've got a well-thought out way of helping transition, then that might be the clincher.

On Downsend, I don't really know what to make of the expansion up to 16. It means the school is undergoing change, which is a bit of a risk, and perhaps changes their focus away from feeding other schools, but it also doesn't cover sixth form, which seems a poor compromise, really. I may be judging it unfairly though; hopefully a Downsend parent could weigh in. Oddly enough, it seems to be owned by the same company that owns Milbourne, not that that makes much difference.

I've seen Feltonfleet but don't know much about it; I'll check it out. It's obviously viable for living in Cobham, but perhaps even Claygate and Esher too. I'm guessing that the A245 just by there is murder though - I've been stuck there a few times in the past, once at school run time. I know I'm obsessing about traffic, but I'll be moving in with my partner, who has a daughter at senior school, so day-to-day logistics really does feel like an important factor!

I thought about Rowan, but at this point I'd like my children to go to the same place if I can. They'll be experiencing a lot of change - new home, new parent, new pets, new step-sister - and we'll be moving away from a lot, including family. They're very close and it helped them in the past to be at the same place, even if they only check in with other occasionally. I also worry DS might struggle a little at a boys only school - he can be introverted at times.

Does anyone know Aberdour school, out of interest? It's just been mentioned to me and looks very interesting, albeit only up to 11 years old.

Have you considered Claremont Fan Court in esher?

Thanks, yes, that's a possibility, but it feels like it will focus on getting people to stay on for their senior school, rather than prepping children for other places, and we want to keep our options open. Do you know if the Christian Science background of the school is now fully left in the past, though? That would be useful to know as it's a possibility for senior school.

Having visited both of our original choices now, I must say I'm leaning towards Danes Hill. Is there anyone at all who has had children transfer to Danes Hill halfway through like we're planning to do?

I know DH well. It's a fab school.

The headteacher definitely knows all of the children well by the time they are in year 6/7/8. It doesn't feel like a big school really, even though it absolutely is. It seems well run and very well organised.

Plenty of children join at different points in the year and in their school careers. It's a fairly fluid population around those areas so I suspect the other schools also experience plenty of new starters at various points.

Thanks all for your suggestions and help. We're going for Danes Hill, they do really seem like they've carefully thought through how to help people ease in.

Hello, just wondering if you’ve considered Weston Green School in Thames Ditton? It’s a small, nurturing, friendly school where I have two very happy children!

The school seems to balance the academic achievement/well-belling of the child just right and gets fantastic results (children each year go to Epsom/St John’s as you mentioned you may be interested in.)

Anyway, I know it’s a massive decision and all the best with the move and settling in wherever you decide to go!

Thames Ditton is that little bit further than we're looking but thanks! Decision is made! :-)

I'm probably too late to help you, but my DS moved to Milbourne abruptly in 2016 and has never looked back. It's a small school, incredible teachers and a real firecracker of a Headmistress in Judy Waite.

In the last 3 years I've watched their pupils go to Eton, Winchester, Tonbridge etc with scholarships, not only because the kids are smart but because the teaching is just absolutely on another level. Having been through COVID and homeschooling, Milbourne has a full day from 8am -5pm for DS, including sport and he smiles , laughs and runs back to his laptop all day.

Milbourne might not have the facilities of Danes Hill, but every teacher in every year knows every single childs name and its the most wonderful environment for a properly academic school I've ever seen.

Maybe late too, but I want to echo what confuseddad wrote. We moved ours in Y3 and he has been thriving. My lovely boy is very shy, but they welcomed him in no time, an advantage if a small school.
He is academic, but lazy, a nightmare if you ask me! But ML doesn't allow you to be lazy, their real motto is "work hard, play hard" ... he is now in Y6 and so far every school we have applied has come with an offer and recommendations to sit academic scholarship.

It is pushy, but that works for us. It also had an amazing music peri team and although sports is not their strength, at least the children get to do sports every day up to Y8.

Highly recommend ML from the inside out. Very established school with good reputation.

Hi Surreysorry,
I just wondered how your Danes Hill journey is going ? Are they preparing them well for 11 + ? Have you heard good things about the new head ?

+1. I'd love to hear a "How it ended up for up" post having now left!

Sorry, I somehow missed the previous notification that someone had asked for an update, but here is the update five years behind schedule!

Danes Hill was a success. It was good stepping up from two forms of entry to five (I think ML is two), because they were in a very nurturing, gentle school before, and I wanted to avoid too much of a culture shock. DD benefited from having to compete to be in good sports teams, having been in the only girls team by default before.

The school handled DS's autism very well when it was diagnosed, and one teacher in particular really got through to him, which made a big difference to his motivation levels.

The head teacher situation was a bit messy: they joined after the previous head had committed suicide, and the next one didn't really work out. I wasn't in the right circles to know why, but I do remember the sports organisation went to pot for a while, so maybe she just didn't get a good grip of the place. Then there was an interim head, so I don't know the new fellow.

The preparation for 11+ seemed good, although I added a year of tutoring to that, and I believe many parents did more. DD got all three offers and DS got two out of three, missing out on Epsom, which was the stretch target, and not necessarily a good fit for him anyway.

The traffic was indeed terrible, as was the car park, but we did a term of school bus to get them used to doing that at secondary and it was actually really good, coming to each pupil's road and having a really good tracking system. I wasn't big on the social side, but people seemed nice, maybe I would have felt differently if I had had my finger on the pulse!

With the caveat of now knowing what the new head is doing, I can recommend Danes Hill from my three years there.