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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

DD sitting on her own at playtime

7 replies

DZM · 18/10/2007 10:28

Hi,

My little girl has just started reception. She is very shy but seems to be enjoying school and making friends. We are worried because she has told us she sits on a bench on her own at playtimes because she is scared that the boys will chase her and she is terrified of the older children in the playground.

I'm really upset for her and not really sure what to do. I'm worried that if I don't do anything she is an easy target for getting bullied. Any suggestions.

OP posts:

quickdrawmcgraw · 18/10/2007 10:29

Can you talk to the teacher and ask if there's someone in the class who would be a good, gentle friend for your dd and then invite them round to play after school?

muppetgirl · 18/10/2007 10:30

Talk to her teacher and share your concerns. She will probably observe her in the playground and if this is happening she could give her a playtime 'buddy', ask other children if she can join in their game ect.

Original poster

DZM · 18/10/2007 10:53

Since she started school I have had kids over and she has a birthday party for her whole class to give her the opportunity to get to know the other children.

Spoke to the teacher about it this morning and she confirmed that she is popular in class and the other children do come over to try to play with her, but she refused to leave the teachers side. She told us that it is because she is scared of the older children and the boys who will chase her.

The teacher has suggested setting her up with an older girl to act as a playground buddy.

OP posts:

indignatio · 18/10/2007 11:02

Last year I watched my ds and his peers move through reception. WRT the shy children, without fail they came out of their shells at the beginning of the third term. It was great to see. IMHO both shy children and "the watchers" will learn to join in in their own good time. They have to feel safe and confident to do so, which takes time. Is your dd unhappy about playtimes or not ?

Original poster

DZM · 18/10/2007 11:05

She doesn't seem unhappy about them, although she did say she get bored at playtime and has said that she doesn't like the playground.

OP posts:

indignatio · 18/10/2007 11:10

I think the buddy idea is great if she is happy about this. Otherwise, just give her time.

slalomsuki · 18/10/2007 11:12

Funnily enough I had the same yesterday with DS2. DS2 is a very confident little boy who plays mostly with his older brothers friends. Yesterday I was in the school at lunch time for another reason and walked past a window where I watched DS2 just wander aimlessly round the play ground with nothing and no one. I watched for say 10mins and then had to go to do what I came in for.

I was actually quite upset because DS2 is the child who goes in to the room first and everybody loves, is much more sociable and confident than my other two and is very caring so to see him like that was distressing. He knows all the kids in his class since they have without exception been at nursery for the last 2 years together and his brothers friends were all in the playground too so he had no reason to be wandering aimlessly. I asked him and he said he has no friends to play with and he just fills the time.

We have playdates and also meet up with some of the kids on a regular basis and it is a small school

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