Quiet child

[JAB67]

I just had year 1 parents evening for my child via a telephone call.
I know she is a relatively quiet child (compared to my second at least!) but she does have plenty of confidence at home and in social situations. However they said she can’t participate in class discussions and they can’t pick her to read to the class (even though she is a good reader) because she can’t be heard. She hasn’t found her voice. I’m surprised how bad it is and I don’t know how to help her. Any ideas?
At school, they have sat her at the back in the corner and I did ask if they have plans to move her but they said no. It seems like a strange place to sit a quiet child to me.

I don’t really have any decent advice but I was the quiet child at school.

The teachers used to tell other kids to come and talk to me, I didn’t really join in with group activities. I turned out to be a normal functioning human.

Not everyone is loud and extrovert and that isn’t a bad thing.

Thank you. Yes, I agree and I’m not the loudest person either!

Girls in particular are very reluctant to put their hand up or speak up in class for fear of getting something wrong and being laughed at. My youngest DD is that girl.

Her teacher made a pact with her that if she puts her hand up when she knows the answer and uses a “big voice” then he won’t put her on the spot with questions. Likewise with reading, giving her notice the day before as to what he was going to ask her to read so she could practice.

After a couple of weeks there was a huge change in her and he had a chat again that if he let her ask her questions without her hand up first that she could have five house points. He did promise her that he wouldn’t ask anything tricky though.

That worked too. Six months in she’s still shy but that’s just the way she is. She is, however, very different in the classroom. Much more confident. Never going to be the bolshy one or the one with her hand up all the time but she has come on so far. Really proud of her.

Hmmm. Well I think I would be going back to the school and saying something along the lines of 'This is clearly a problem. What do you propose we do to help her find her voice?' And I think you say that you want to work together to help her over this issue which is clearly impacting her education. What do they propose to do about it? And you keep politely asking what they propose to do about it until you get a sensible plan of action. Sticking her in the corner is not an answer!!

The polite but firm approach has been pretty effective for me in the past in getting the school to buck its ideas up.

Thanks very much for your comments. I will definitely speak to her teacher again so we can agree a plan.

I was the quiet child in school. I was top of the class for everything all the way through to university but was always passed over for things like awards or prefect, as I was forgot about. My school reports were always “excellent student, could speak up more” and my teachers didn’t really know me as a person.

I don’t really have a problem with how it panned out however; I found my voice when I found my vocation at university and I actually work in a public facing role and a public speaking role now with no problems. I would let her be who she is whilst coming up with a plan to gently coax her in the right direction without applying too much pressure. I found singing lessons helped me as they were one to one so I didn’t have the embarrassment of speaking in front of my peers, but helped me find a voice.