Reception age child falling behind

[kezziethecat]

Feeling a bit disheartened after a parents consultation for my reception aged child (he turned 4 in July). My ds loves school, has enjoyed going every single day and wants to do any homework straight away. He's so eager to learn and please. The teacher said he was a lovely, caring and kind boy so I'm really proud of him for that. However she said he was behind in all aspects of learning. To be honest I don't think he is especially academic, although obviously difficult to tell at this age, and has resisted any attempts I have made to teach him explicitly at home but he has been so enthusiastic since starting school. She said if he doesn't catch up before Christmas it may be difficult to catch up at all. Has anyone been in this situation and what did you do to support your child?

Well what was her suggestion? She can’t just say all that and then leave it there!

The statement if he doesn’t catch up by Christmas he won’t at all seems extraordinary! What did she suggest they did then? There’s a well known difference in summer born performance but they do tend to catch up over the years, I’m amazed at a Reception teacher making such a gloomy statement this early on.

Catch up with what ?????????

He's four FGS, try not to worry.

He won't leave me. He's literally been trying to get back to me since we split years ago.

I simply cannot imagine any Early Years professional saying this sentence, are you sure yoy didn't misunderstand her?

Of course he will catch up he's only 4 years old, just enjoy the fcat he likes school and is eager to learn and continue to nurture his enthusiasm and he will be fine.

Goodness, in reception. What an odd thing for her to say when it's supposed to be playbased learning of basics. He's 4 ffs. I work in primary 1 and although we have some that are clearly not at the stage they should be, that's more practical things and learning of basic routines. There no academic expectations at this stage of a play based first year of primary.

He's 4! No one is "academic" at 4! School for the first few years is about enjoying it, learning the rules and making friends.

I find it utterly bizarre that any teacher would say that a July-born child might "never catch up".

Relax, keep being a nice normal parent to a happy child and ignore crazy teacher person.

She said if he doesn't catch up before Christmas it may be difficult to catch up at all.

Appologies I meant to copy this sentence apparently my copy fiction hasn't quite woken up yet this morning.

Is this person a qualified teacher? Your ds is four, not 14.

Behind in what exactly. Speech? Co-ordination? personal hygiene? Small motor skills? At four and four months if she has any legitimate concerns she should identify them individually and arrange support to address them.

Continue to play with your child at home, encourage his enthusiasm, and complain to the head teacher. If you don't get an apology and a sensible conversation, I'd consider moving him to a better school.

LittleMissLockdown cut and paste fail? That isn’t a line from the OP

X post

I know it’s easy to say, but please don’t worry. He’s 4, and a summer born child. I’m sure he’ll be absolutely fine, this year isn’t about lots of formal learning just play.

She said that the class would move onto new material at Christmas and if he didn't know the basics he wouldn't be able to keep up with the rest of the class. She did give lots of suggestions - basically practise the phonics/words and the numbers - out of context and not just from the sheets - and practise the handwriting sheets. We do all of that but he will often seem to know them and then won't remember next time we do them. I am also aware of it becoming a chore for us all if we do it too much and really don't want to kill his enthusiasm for learning. Some of the others, particularly the older girls, are so bright and articulate already and fluent readers so the difference must seem quite stark but I do believe he will get there in his own time, I just don't want him to fall behind in the meantime.

When she says he won't catch up at all if he doesn't catch up by Christmas she is worrying about her data and projection of attainment by the summer. It's wrong, but sadly she has been forced into doing this by the system. It isn't true, unless he turns out to have SN, that he will never catch up (and even then he could if he has the right support). Children used to be able to develop at their own speed but the constant testing and assessment of small children ends up putting stress on the teachers, the parents and, worst of all, the children. (Elderly retired early years teacher who ended up hating the system I was forced to work in)

I'm also astonished that the teacher said this! Is she quite an inexperienced teacher? Lots of children make massive progress in those first couple of years, especially the summer born children.

Apparently he has amazing concentration and behaviour and good personal and social skillls so it was all academic - reading, writing and maths mainly.

Your little boy sounds an adorable child

Agree with other people here, that is a very stupid strange thing for a teacher to say about a 4 year old. My DS has SEND and was at the bottom of the class by a country mile in reception but 2 years later has made huge progress. So the idea that it is impossible to catch up is utter nonsense. Some kids just take longer than others to find their stride.

For now, celebrate the fact that your son loves school and try not to dampen that enthusiasm. If you are concerned maybe you could chat to someone else - the Head? The SENCO?

@kezziethecat I could of written your post when my son was 4. He is an August baby and the youngest in his year. At a Y1 parent's evening his teacher told me 'He is failing in all areas'. I was young and inexperienced (and 8 months pregnant) at the time and burst into tears.

My son is now 19 and is doing well at uni. He is not very academic but has excelled in art and music. He has always seemed younger in some ways to his peers but his emotional maturity and empathy has always been huge!

Looking back I wish I hadn't worried so much about him and didn't compare him to his peers so much. You're right don't make learning a chore. Just try and fit it in to your daily routine I.e reading signs, finding numbers on houses etc etc and enjoy your little boy for the person he is.

I didn’t read until I was 8, it held no interest to me. I have an A level English, and a degree. I’m not convinced the teacher is correct. Unless there is an underlying issue, this is crap.

I did wonder if it was to do with data and projection of achievement. I just hate the idea of him being unable to keep up in class as I know that this would damage his love of learning and confidence in himself. He is such a shy introverted child that it has amazed me how well he has settled into school and made friends so quickly. Thank you, you have all reassured me a lot. I'll try not to worry!

hopewardrobe thank you for that. So glad your son is doing so well.

I’m astounded that a teacher would say that. And that your reception aged child is getting homework - that seems bonkers unless it is just a book home to try reading (or describing the pictures if your DS isn’t there yet with phonics to start on the first level - which is FINE). I really doubt there’s multiple fluent readers (by which I take to mean free readers) in the class too. Sounds like you have been given a skewed view of what’s going on in the class.

Wow, are you in the uk?
I'm in wales and the foundation phase is based around social and personal development, like it should be for 4 year olds. If I was hearing this from a teacher I would be going to the head.

I have had a teacher say this.
But at Primary 2, not reception!
The exact words were "I can't keep differentiating downwards forever" I was gutted as you can imagine!
It was also a phonics issue and I did manage to turn it around with practice at home.
I completely take on board your concern about making it a chore and turning him off learning though. He's 4, poor kid!
You could try Reading Eggs. That's pretty engaging and fun.
But try not to worry too much. Your son will learn to read in the end. And next year he'll have anther teacher who'll hopefully be less of a dick.

@SocialBees

I'm also astonished that the teacher said this! Is she quite an inexperienced teacher? Lots of children make massive progress in those first couple of years, especially the summer born children.

My youngest grandson's Reception teacher started putting pressure on, like this, urging my daughter to do more work at home him. Fortunately, she is a more experienced Early Years teacher, herself, and took no notice. He was diagnosed with dyslexia in Year 2 and, with help, has caught up.

I am strongly of the opinion that small children should be allowed to be children and the culture of target setting at this age is harmful. The teacher is not being horrible but is caught up in this system, if she was trained recently it will be all she knows.

I would speak to the head about this. A reception teaching telling a parent two months in that soon her four year old is going to be beyond catching up with the rest of his class for good is fucking ridiculous.