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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Eating/drinking in reception

25 replies

FlightAttendant · 16/10/2007 16:09

I am a bit worried and confused about Ds1's day at school, and exactly what level of attention he is receiving.

He was a bit ill at the weekend - very tired by last Friday as it was his first full day week last week.

I kept him off yesterday (Monday) as he was still a bit low, but today, although tired, he seemd alright so I took him in.

I colelcted him just now, and the teacher told me he was very tired...he looks awful, has now gone to sleep with a bottle of warm milk but I am concerned because he had had no lunch - most of it was still in the box, even the choc biscuits (only a couple, as well as the fruit etc.) which he says the teacher told him not to eat.?
I only gave him them as he was coming home having demolished everything in the box, demanding food like he'd not eaten for days!

Maybe he was still feeling poorly today but he ate it all in the car on the way home
He said he had not had a drink at school all day.
No wonder he was tired - dehydration does that - but the thing is they expect the kids (just four!) to get their own water, fill their drinking bottle and remember to do this when they can barely cope with all the new stuff going on around them.

I feel quite angry actually that nobody has made sure a (still not well) child has had a drink, between 9am and 3.30.

Very angry actually. Should I say something? not out of anger, but basically because I don't want to leave him there again if nobody is looking after the poor wee thing.

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Original poster

FlightAttendant · 16/10/2007 16:13

Please somebody? I'm so worried.

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DoctorFrankenSquonk · 16/10/2007 16:14

oh you poor thing, and your poor little ds.... I have no advice though. Have never been through this.

Perhaps a quiet word with his teacher just to say that you were concerned that he hadn't eaten his lunch and did he seem ok yesterday as he demolished the lot before you got home?

I think you're quite right to be concerned, but I don't know what to suggest other than that. Sorry

sarahlou1uk · 16/10/2007 16:14

I would have a word with the teacher. My ds is 4 and is at nursery but will start 'big' school after Christmas doing full days. He won't be having milk during the day like others as he can only have goats milk so I am depending on the teacher helping him to get a drink of water.
If he is no better tomorrow, I would keep him off again and see what he is like the second day.

Notquitegrownup · 16/10/2007 16:20

Hi FA

Do have a word with the teacher. They should be willing to help with someone who is in his first week at school. Could you put in an extra bottle of water into his lunchbox, so that he doesn't have to refill it? And offer him stickers if he drinks all of his drink before you collect him?

With regard to our experience, I can't really reassure you, I'm afraid. My dss go to a school which offers its kids a lot educationally, but I have always been very disappointed in how little care they get in these sort of areas. If they are not 100% well, I don't send them in. I did speak to a teacher when ds1 was drinking very little and they offered to encourage him, but that was when he was well and not needing extra attention.

Others may disagree, but I am not surprised at your experiences. Do talk to them and you may find the teachers at your son's school more nurturing and more prepared to get involved.

Original poster

FlightAttendant · 16/10/2007 16:21

Thankyou gals I feel better for reading your wise words...I just feel so sorry for the little chap. He's so independant at home, but school is baffling him at so many levels. I just want him to be Ok and not come home a complete wreck!
I'll have a word tomorrow and ask if they remind the children to drink or if there is a set time for it.

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USAUKMum · 16/10/2007 16:28

At our school all infants have a set "snack" time. In reception it was at a certain time each day, now in Yr 2, they are told when it is available, and can have it or not. During this time the children either get milk or have water. Most mums provide another small water bottle for the children to use during the day.

puppydavies · 16/10/2007 17:22

definitely have a word. dd1's main problem at reception is eating her lunch. she's a slow eater and her friends were finishing before her and going off to play leaving her alone and crying in the dining hall thankfully our school have been brilliant about it. they asked one of her friends to stay with her until she'd finished. when friend didn't want to wait with her yesterday and she got upset again we spoke to the teacher again. she volunteered to sit with her if it helped and said that if she couldn't finish at lunch she could have what she'd left at afternoon break. we had a word with dd to emphasise how important it was that she didn't mess around and talk but ate her lunch instead (she's been coming home starving, tired and grumpy). she finished first today

so yes say something, try to get to the bottom of why he's not eating and expect them to help sort it out, this kind of stuff really matters when it comes to settling them in. hope you find them responsive.

Nitnovice · 16/10/2007 22:36

In Reception, DD1's teacher sat with them at lunch for a good proportion of the first term and knew whether they had eaten or not. That sort of attention tailed off when they had settled in, but she was certainly on the case when the little ones first started staying all day. I know for a fact that she occasionally fed my daughter to get her to speed up a bit The teacher is my hero, for many reasons but definitely including that one!

I think it would be reasonable to express concern that they haven't noticed that a newly-full time child hasn't eaten anything at all.

Original poster

FlightAttendant · 17/10/2007 07:05

Thankyou so much for all your replies. I will definitely say something but the trouble seems to be that there are about 30 kids, two or three TA's and a new-to-reception teacher. I say things to them sometimes at the door, and obviously they cannot remember everything every parent has said, but I find my comments/instructions quite often get ignored.

Yesterday I mentioned that a t shirt they lent Ds about a fortnight ago (he spilt his water - so at least he was drinking that day )hd been in his bag for over a week, having been washed at home and returned as requested. 'Oh, sorry, we'll take it out'.

It's still there.
Stuff like that isn't crucial but you get the drift - it just seems like as long as nobody goes missing or gets eaten by a wild animal all day, they don't really have much idea what else happens while the kids are in their care. I may be making a gross misjudgment...

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Furball · 17/10/2007 07:20

I think this is a common one, but it is very tricky. I'm just glad ds (now yr 2) has milk so at least I know they are giving him some fluids, especially when it's sunny.

I've now had to start forfeits for not drinking lunchtime drink. So if his drink is not drunk then he say, can't go on the computer etc. Yours maybe a bit young for that harshness, but you could use it later.

I also make sure he has a fairly good drink before school and we both sit down with a drink and snack after school so he can tell me about his day, but that normally consists of 'I can't remember'

dooley1 · 17/10/2007 07:25

Interesting thread. My ds hasn't started yet but i thought I read somewhere that the free milk at school had been replaced with a piece of fruit? But it sounds like people are still getting milk at school?

Original poster

FlightAttendant · 17/10/2007 07:30

I think I have a letter somewhere about snack time, will see what it says...

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Original poster

FlightAttendant · 17/10/2007 07:32

Oh apparently they are given the option of milk or water...Ds one now says he had water yesterday He is a bit erm unreliable with remembering things! But one beaker all day is hardly enough, is it?

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TwigorTreat · 17/10/2007 07:35

I don't know about your school but I have to say that if you don't feel he is 100% you shouldn't send him in as teachers aren't nurses and won't be looking after him in the way you would.

That said a ratio of 4 to 30 kids is quite good and there will no doubt be specified break times with fruit, milk and lunches where they are generally encouraged to take something .. but if a child doesn't want to eat or drink then the staff simply cannot force them

I know he's incredibly young and it seems so very unfair and it is certainly worth having a word with the teachers but I wouldn't go in all guns blazing because they'll merely turn round and tell you not to send him in if he isn't well

TwigorTreat · 17/10/2007 07:36

one beaker of water all day should be more than sufficient .. because they have drink at break and drink at lunch on top of that .. there will also most probably be water available for them to top up if needed ... current edicts dictate that a child should always have access to drinking water but it is simply not a teacher's job to be telling them to drink

Original poster

FlightAttendant · 17/10/2007 07:39

Twig, he is Ok, no temp any more, just abit tired and pale that's all...I didn't think it quite right to keep him at home just for that, perhaps my comment about them not ensuring a poorly child drinks was a bit inappropriate, after all it isn't their job to nurse...however it was an attempt to make the point that he should be reminded/helped to get a drink, whether poorly or not, and emphasise the point that most of the kids are very tired by half term (according to the teacher this is very normal) and they all need a bit of help to make sure they eat or drink something during the day.

Sorry, hope to have explained better now

I think he might be at home again today, still very very tired...

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Original poster

FlightAttendant · 17/10/2007 07:41

Twig I know all that but my point is he did Not have any other drinks, just the one beaker at snack time, if that.

He is four and doesn't remember to fill his own bottle. That is what I'm suggeting he (and many of his peers, probably) need a bit of help with.

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TwigorTreat · 17/10/2007 07:46

I know FA .. I'm trying to get you to work out all the ire before you say something inappropriate to the teachers and they end up patronising you

Original poster

FlightAttendant · 17/10/2007 09:46

Thanks Twig

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seeker · 17/10/2007 11:00

In our school the children all have named water bottles that we send in every morning with them They are on a table where they can get at them in Reception and year one, and on their tables from year 2 onwards. They are allowed a drink whenever they want one.At morning break the littles are reminded to have a drink and given a beaker of water if for whatever reason they haven't got their water bottle. If they finish their water bottle they can ask the teacher or a TA and she'll help them refill it. I thought it was like that in most schools now? Perhaps you c ould ask whether that's what happens at your ds's school and he just hasn't grasped the system yet?

maisykins · 17/10/2007 11:32

I'm a little confused. Does he take his own lunch to school? If so, isnt there a drink in that lunch as well as taking his water bottle/beaker in? Is he usually a water drinker? I give mine a box of "apple juicy water" in their lunchboxes.

So he should be able to drink at snack time when they all have milk or water (in our area milk is provided to reception children if they want it), plus lunch time. For most children this will be enough if they drink before/after school especially if water fountains etc available but even if not, it is probably enough for now - different in the height of summer.
I know it is hard but possibly he just needs more time to settle in, learn to cope with the routine. My 3 all took time to adjust and I stressed about things like them wearing their jumpers inside when the heating was so high (DS had suffered from febrile convulsions previously) so I guess the teachers must get so many parents worrying about this sort of thing.
If he's only had one week full-time and was maybe not 100% then that would be enough to make him pretty wiped out.
Would be more concerned about untouched lunch. Maybe he wasnt well? Or if it continues maybe lunch is very stressful - loud noisy room full of children etc. Or he's keen to play and doesnt realise how hungry he is? Sorry - long post. Will butt out now.

Original poster

FlightAttendant · 17/10/2007 13:23

Maisy, thanks - it's not the availability so much as the reminding.
I've sent him with it full and he's brought it home full.
He just isn't big enough to remember to drink.
I think maybe it's expecting too much of the teachers to make sure they all do.

I think my real problem is just that I think he is too small to be without me all day - or someone's supervision/attention.

That is what feels so bad.

I think I'm actually angry with the school system as a whole, for expecting tiny kids to virtually take care of their own needs all day. The teachers are just doing their best. But it makes me really sad to see him out there coping - or rather, not coping

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seeker · 17/10/2007 14:09

I agree they are very little and if I had my way, they wouldn't start school til 7. But I don't think they usually have to look after themselves. There are TAs, parent helpers and dinner ladies -lots of people keeping an eye on them and looking after them. It's a worry, I know, but he's not all on his own!

pixieboo · 17/10/2007 17:04

I think you also have to bare in mind that if it's only his first week of full-time school it's bound to be having a big effect on YOU, and perhaps you are feeling very protective and uncertain about letting him go off in to the big wide world. I think that's perfectly natural. I would give it a few weeks before you make rash judgements about the school's level of care, it will take the teachers a while to get to know all the children and the care they individually need. It will also take him a while to grasp the routines. But as long as he seems happy to be going to school, and there are not too many teething problems I wouldn't worry. Just supply him with extra bottles of drink and snacks and remind him every morning to have them.

harrisey · 17/10/2007 20:08

In Glasgow all children have a school issued water bottle which they can fill up as required and drink in class. Ds's constipation has almost vanished since starting school, as he loves his water bottle but I had huge issues getting him to drink much at home!

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