6 Year old suddenly crying at school drop off

[Joesmummy2]

My 6 year old (Year 1) son has always been happy to go to school, had a few wobbly moments when he first started reception but since then we've had no issues. A few weeks ago he started being a bit clingy at drop off but went in ok, but this week he's crying and the teacher is having to pretty much drag him in. Bit of background is that he went back for the end of reception after lockdown (was fine) and his year group had to recently self-isolate for 14 days due to a confirmed case. He doesn't say he doesn't want to go to school and he runs into the playground on the way in and chats away to his friends, it's literally when he says goodbye that he crumbles. Am hoping it's just a phase and related to the current environment we're in and the constant changes etc but its obviously very upsetting for us all. He said today he was going to try hard not to cry but I feel for him as he just can't seem to help it.

Just wondering if anyone else has been through this, has any words of wisdom etc?
Thanks for reading

Had the same thing with my DS. Firstly I established with the teacher and with him, that there was no specific issue at school. If that's the case with yours and he's generally happy as soon as he gets to class (as was the case with my DS) then it's just a habit that needs to be broken. The staff were great with my son. They told me to leave as quickly as possible - one hug and then quickly go type of thing. Don't go back if he keeps asking for 'just one more hug' as I was! That plus a small reward each day for going off smiling (ie bribery!) worked to re-set the situation and break the habit. I totally empathise though. It's awful. Stays with you all day whilst the little beggars are more than likely not giving you a second thought!
Obviously the above only applies if there isn't some kind of latent issue there.

My little girl did this a couple of weeks after starting reception even though she was fine when she first started. I think it was a novelty at first then she realised she missed pre-school.

Her teacher said she was happy when she was actually in school so I just persevered and talked on the way to school about all her friends. It did stop again after a few weeks but it’s so upsetting to leave your child upset.

Thanks for replying. In lieu of face to face parents evening we've got a call with the teacher on Thursday so I can check with her if any issue in class but he seems so happy to go every day I don't think it's that. Problem is that the teacher isn't outside the classroom at moment so hard to do a quick leave as no-one there to guide him in! Yes been guilty of too many hugs so I know I need to do a quicker cuddle and leave. He had his birthday recently so thinking of using bribery in terms of using his birthday money to buy a toy if he manages to go in without crying so we'll see! Yep he's no doubt fine in 5 mins but I spend the day feeling rotten!!

He really doesn’t need guiding into the classroom in Y1. I’m sure he really does know what’s expected. Maybe bigging him up and expecting him to be a bit more mature might help. My DDs never had me near the classroom from day1. Parents stopped guiding after nursery (Not allowed in the classroom!) and I think it gave the DC a strong steer that they were expected to do certain things themselves. They liked it.

I have seen parents trying to kiss dc through windows, never ending goodbyes as if dc was going on a long trek across the Sahara and even mums crying! Just expect him to be able to achieve going into himself. Make it brisk and purposeful. Reward him and stay positive.

Really advise the brisk but kind approach. Kiss, have a lovely day. You'll be fine when you get started type approach. I have a tearful y6 child in my class and often after a weekend, holiday or illness he is similar. If I spend too much time being sympathetic, it seems to make it worse!

Thanks everyone, waiting to speak to the teacher tomorrow as to if any other issues but think it's just the goodbye that he's struggling with, just come out of the blue so thrown me a bit as prior to this he ran in with barely a goodbye! Was a very quick drop off this morning due to the rain - pretty much shoved him in even though he was crying and reaching out for me but did quick love you have a great day and walked off. Hoping will be easier after half term as we won't then be allowed into the playground, will have to do drop off at the main gates so will be much brisker!!

Without seeming horrible, it’s the send off on school premises that causes issues. It’s too easy to get involved. I do know this is difficult but it will get sorted.

I think maybe it’s become a thing and to some (but not complete extent) he’ll be aware that he’s getting a concerned (and natural) reaction from you and will be playing to this. My DD was similar at 6, lots of tears at home and it was hard getting her into school - really worried us that she seemed so unhappy. When we spoke to her teachers (she had 2 as both were part time) they were completely & utterly taken a back as from their perspective she was a popular, happy & very involved child! So do speak to them - it does sound a similar scenario & that he’s fine when he’s there. The way we dealt with it was to minimise the amount of time saying goodbye & asking her at the end of the day ‘what was good about school today?’ and kept it to the positive. It’s just a phase, please try not to worry too much - hard I know!