Please help! Ds1 (8) finds writing such a struggle, it is causing problems!

[TooTicky]

My ds1 (8) can do neat writing but finds it takes a lot of time and effort. Homework drives him to tears of rage and despair. He is expected to do neat, joined up writing (in school, any work which doesn't pass muster is torn up and has to be redone). The teacher is new to the school - his last teacher didn't tear things up.
Is it possible that ds1 has a problem which makes him find this so hard? I'm worried that this will turn him against school altogether and he started this year so enthusiastically.

blimey tooticky, tearing up work sounds harsh and extreme and must demoralise the children rather than motivate them to do better. I wouldn't be surprised if that is creating some kind of performance anxiety in your son which is causing the rage and despair at homework time. I would want to speak to the teacher about it.

I would go absolutely ballistic if a teacher did this to my DD. Does he have or has he ever had a problem with any of his other fine or gross motor skills ?

I have an eight-year-old son and like yours, he can write well but it's a laborious process. But his teachers have never complained about the speed and are very encouraging. I too would be outraged if his teacher tore up his work. No wonder he despairs over his homework. Definitely worth a visit to the teacher.

DS finds writing a trial too. Very frustrating. As for tearing up his work, go straight to the head, it is simply UNACCEPTABLE from a teacher.

my ds(6) is the same, he's been referred to an occupational therapist who has suggested a sloping table top thing (iykwim)! to help strengthen his muscles.

Ditto what Seasider said. Tearing work up is outrageous.

Thanks for all your replies
Homework has always been pretty angst-ridden for him, but then it does generally involve writing.
Sometimes I wonder if laziness is involved somewhere, but at other times I think that my writing is pretty shitey when I have to join it up because it is not easy for everybody. I wonder if we could reach a compromise where he did neat writing but didn't have to join it up?
There is a parents evening next week, I'll have to say something, but I'm not sure what. Must get details about the tearing up from ds1.

Was told this morning by DS's teacher that what they look for in the SATS is neat (smallish) writing, joined up is not essential. Good luck with all this.

Tearing up work is an evil thing to do. I think it fosters all sorts of warped ideas of how to interact with people and what is acceptable behavior in life. (sort of like spitting at a waiter who gets your orde wrong)
It is fairly normal for an 8 year old boy to not be terribly good, fast or neat at writing. In fact, I don't know too many 8 year old boys who are good fast and neat at writing. That doesn't excuse them from having to try, but certainly their efforts should be dealt with respect, encouragement and patience, not belittling and rudeness. Frankly I'm amazed that that's considered an acceptable way of dealing with a child in this day and age...does the teacher also beat them if they misbehave?

Could he have dyspraxia? That would certainly explain it. The teacher's response is unforgivable.

Oh that's a bit shocking TooT. A very strict word with the teacher I think.

I'm unclear whether you think he has general problems or whether he's just not trying very hard. How are his fine motor skills? Can he do buttons, shoe laces, get dressed and undressed easily, grip things tightly, use a knife and fork efficiently? Can he do lego and construction easily? Do hama beads? Colour in well when he's bothered? Does he enjoy drawing and painting? Is he generally quite well organised?

If yes, to all of the above then probably his fine motor skills are fine in my humble and the handwriting is under his control. But surely a softly, softly gently encouraging route is better than ripping it up??

It's easy to dismiss a genuine learning problem as laziness, but all the same best looked into I think. He sounds like he needs support rather than a telling off.

That teacher is absolutely appalling. The quality of work - the content - that you DS is producing is not taken into account? Presentation is a bit of a shambles but that can be worked on.

I don't understand schools - DS(11) has been told by HM that his homework diary is too messy FGS! Who cares? As long as he can read it what does it matter?

Anyway, back to your DS. IME take some time to work this out - hop off to a really good stationer - perhaps an independent rather than WHS - and take some time to look at and try out some pens. Has he tried the pen huggers? Does he write with the paper at an angle? Is he holding his pen correctly? And something which helped DS is getting a small ball - bit like a squash ball or similiar and squeezing it x20 twice a day - helps build up muscles in fingers etc.

But fear not - if his writing is that illegible he is probably on his way to a career in medicine!

Sorry! Apparently I got the wrong end of the stick. The work is not torn up but they are made to redo it.

100x, he does have a lazy streak, so it's hard to say. Laces he nearly mastered a few years ago, but then gave up in despair. Lego no problem. He draws beautiful pictures. I just don't know.

claricebeansmum, they can only use one type of pen at school. In fact, ds1 can only use pencil atm as he has yet to earn his pen licence this term, which he will only get for consistent neat writing. Thanks for the tip about building up his muscles though.
This neatness thing annoys me!

Oh well then TooT, it doesn't sound like it is anything more serious than being a bit crap at doing neat handwriting. If his fingers weren't powerful enough then lego would be hard for him and he wouldn't be doing beautiful pictures - I'm sure you can discount dyspraxia or similar on that basis.

Lots of boys have trouble with handwriting I think. They get it eventually - ds1 has always had awful handwriting, but now it's almost there - just turned 10 - though there is still the small question of punctuation . . . . oh and he still can't do laces and he's not the dyspraxic one.

I wouldn't panic. I'd ask the teacher though what she thinks and whether she worries that constantly asking children to re-do work means that they'll adopt low risk strategies and not bother to put so much down.

dS1 DOESN'T PUT MUCH DOWN ANYWAY! nOW, IF HE COULD DRAW OR ACT ALL HIS SCHOOLWORK...
Oh bollocks, caps lock strikes again!