Help! Eight-year-old having trouble with friends

[SW3]

My son has had the same two friends since Reception, but for some reason it's all gone wrong this year. He comes home daily with tales of woe - they say they don't want to be friends anymore; that he's 'not like them' and worse. He adores these two friends and can't understand where the meanness is coming from. I've tried saying it'll blow over (it hasn't) and play with someone else (he doesn't want to). He dreads school every morning whereas he always loved it before. Any advice out there please?

I would speak (quietly) to his teacher. She would hate to think children in her charge were not being kind. She can maybe do a general 'Lets all play nicely speech' to the class and keep an eye on him at playtime.

It's really tough when your children fall foul to the meanness of others. I tried to teach my dd things she could say to the nasty 'friends' she insisted on playing with, just so she had some defence, and to help her realise it wasn't her with the problem, it was them.

It makes you mad though, doesn't it?

It's heartbreaking - and that's just for me! It's so hard seeing him going off to school unhappy and coming home worse. May try teacher chat, thanks. But won't it make the boys resentful?

I don't think so...the teacher shouldn't single them out . I think you should worry about your little boy, not those two in the gang. Good Luck!

Are you friends with the other mothers? Is it something you could approach with them?
How about having the other boys over for tea and maybe you could see for yourself what triggers negative feelings towards your ds.

This is horrible I know, for you both.

I do know the other mothers and mentioned it to them a couple of weeks ago when DS came out crying. They were horrified and said they'd have a word with their sons. Things were better the next day but after that, back to the nastiness. I just don't know what to say to him when he says: 'Why don't they like me anymore?'

Update: Have arranged a tea and a talk with the teacher. Thank you Mrsmerton and wheresthehamster. This was my first post and I really appreciate your advice.

Hope it goes ok

Good luck. In the meantime, how about inviting someone different over for tea, so he can see that there are other children,who will be nice to him? Try and wean him off the bossy ones!

You know, I think there must be something about that age because both my children had sticky spots at eight, even my hitherto popular, gregarious daughter. Perhaps it's a developmental stage they hit when they stop being little children.

My son found things much easier by the time he was nine or so, if that's any consolation. We found that encouraging him in out of school activities helped to boost his confidence.