is a mainstream school the best place for a seemingly severly autistic, definitely non-verbal 5 year old

[numbmum]

I'm only an intersted observer to be honest and have no direct experience. and i'm asking the quesiton rather than sayign wrong place. But this reception class child was freaking out in the nursery surrounded by 3 and 4 year olds with her one-to-one person and 2 of the nursery staff leaving the rest of the children to get on with what they're doing and it just seemed alittle unfair to the other children and to her

No, I don't think it's ideal for the child but I don't know what other options there are.

Inclusion for autistic children can work very well when it is managed properly.
My DS is autistic (Aspergers and very verbal LOL), and is doing well in mainstream school with the right support. There are many others on the SN board who have non-verbal autistic kids who are also doing well in MS.

It often comes down to money, unfortunately.
If the correct support is put in place, it can work well.
But to get the correct support is often a battle for parents, and one that is hard fought, and often lost, ime.

More often than not, parents have no choice about whether their child goes to a m/s school or an SN school. Even if they can get through the battle to have their child statemented it doesn't guarantee them a place at an SN school as many have been closed down. There are also no guarantees that the SN schools that are still open are actually suitable for the child's particular needs. Before I had a child with SN I just assumed that children would be given whatever help and resources they need. Things really couldn't be any more different.

my niece is severely autistic and definitely non-verbal.

There is absolutely no way that she would cope in a mainstream school.

My NT dd used to freak out occasionally when she was in Reception - it sometimes took the teacher and the TA to stop her running down the road after me. I don't think that was a bad use of their time, and I don't think the rest of the class suffered at all. Sometimes some children need more attention than others - its swings and roundabouts.

Mind you, there is a child with severe special needs in ds's year 2 class, (he has been offered a place in a special school, but his mother doesn't want him to take it) and I'm not convinced it's the best place for him. It was fine when they were in reception, but as the gat between what he can do and what the others can do is getting wider, I think he is getting increasingly frustrated and unhappy, and, in a way worse, the others seem to be getting less patient and understanding. And worse again, the other's parents seem to be getting less tolerant of his outbursts.
There are no easy answers, I'm afraid