DS one of four boys in class of 30

[toririra]

DS has just started in Reception. There are 4 boys and 26 girls in his year (single form, state primary). I'm keen to hear from other parents who have observed similar situations for their DC. He knows two of the other boys from nursery and while they play together during break time, he isn't really close friends with them per se. DS' best friend from a previous nursery is a girl (who's gone to a different school), so I'm keeping an open mind here re: gender and friendships. But the gender imbalance in his class is more significant than I would have imagined.

How have other parents seen such a situation play out for their DC who is in the gender minority? I suppose I'm just looking for some reassurance!

I’ve experienced this. The boy circle grew to include girls who were outside of the girl clique. It worked nicely having a mixed sex friendship group. Some strong female male friendships.

The plus point of being a small group of boys in a large group of girls is that the boys are calmer and more studious

The plus point of being a small group of girls in a big group of boys is that many issues will be out on the open, over quickly and visible (Physical) instead of calculated and mean out of sight of teachers (therefore trickier to resolve).

Sadly you cannot turn boisterous boys who don’t sit still for 5 seconds into studious little academics. I think you will have to take a view on the other 3 boys and see if your DS fits in. If any of them move away it could be very disruptive. Loss of his few friends will he felt. I haven’t seen many boys and girls do the same hobbies outside school and the boys don’t stay close friends with the girls in great numbers. The large number of girls will form friendship groups based on their personalities and hobbies. They don’t need the boys for close friendships. I hope a few more boys appear!

I hear you @bigbradford! Really hope the class doesn't lose any boys! Just spoke to a male friend who recalls being in a male minority class, he was quite bookish so was happy to keep his own company at break times whilst other boys played football and the like. It doesn't appear to have done him too much harm. I guess it also really depends on the child's personality whatever the gender - DS is able to concentrate for relatively long periods of time to learn when he is interested in something, so fingers crossed that help rather than hinders in his current setting.

I agree. It is down to personalities and some DC are happy with their own company. Others would not be happy reading at all! Especially in YR! So playing with a like minded group of children is important to most young children. I hope it goes well for him and he finds friends although these can change quite a lot in primary school too!

I’ve been awake since the smaller hours worrying about a similar thing.

DS has started back in his school to find it’s just him and 1 other boy. The rest of the very small class are girls. He’s so upset and we’re lost with what to do. Moving is a big decision so we keep going around in circles, discussing the pros and cons.

Before the others left, the boys seemed to be split into two groups - those that liked more physical fun (football, play ground games etc) and the boys that preferred roll play and toys. The later have all left. They didn’t particularly get on - no issues, just kept to their mates at play/lunch time. It concerned us before now that there wasn’t enough of a social group but our view was that our DS seemed happy and that the smaller class would be a benefit. However, now all bar one boy has left, he’s not happy and that could impact his education. We need to let things settle but we’re very mindful that a move could be on the cards.

One thing I’ve learnt from this, is that when one parent goes, others can follow. So if your fellow parents aren’t happy that their son is one of a few, they might well leave, which could then encourage another to go for the same reason. If I was you, I’d consider looking at other schools now so you can keep your options open.