School Twitter - I’m only one to decline pics... AIBU?

[DottyBee35]

Hello! First time poster here... My DD just started reception. The school has a Twitter account and posts photos of different class activities and goings on several times a day. We had to fill in a form with photo permissions and I declined. I always have (nursery, classes, etc), I guess because of the awful scare stories you hear about pedophiles taking and editing kids’ photos, or that a kid becomes a meme and is suicidal over it or bullies in high school dig up old photos from such accounts and use it to ridicule kids... Basically alllll the catastrophic thinking! 😬

I’ve now realised (since my child is the only squiggle in pics of her particular class) that I must be the only one who’s declined. So, I want to know, AIBU? Or is this something many of you feel uncomfortable with and wouldn’t agree to?

In case relevant- the school does use a parent-teacher app (Tapestry) that tells you about what they’re up to / report progress, so it’s not like the public Twitter account is the only way to know what goes on in school. (I guess, we haven’t gotten access to it just yet.)

I’m feeling torn over it. Of course I’m interested in what she and new classmates are doing collectively and I have pangs of sadness to not see her face in these pics. However, it really just doesn’t sit right with me to have her photos online, particularly ones that I have no control over... What are people’s thoughts on this? It’s been on my mind - I’m genuinely curious to know if I’m being totally OTT or if it’s a common mindset.

Thank you for reading! ☺️

We opt out of all photos that are published for ours. The school knows id there's one in particular they want to use they can ask but I want to ensure I approve anything first. I don't think it's an unreasonable position.

YANBU at all

It's relatively normal - we have one or two per class usually.

However, I would also say that it's a false sense of security to believe that you have any control over any images you post online. They can be copied and taken just as easily and, for most social media, you lose a significant level of power over the image as soon as you upload it. In many terms and conditions for social media, you agree to give the company ownership of your image once you upload and they can use it for a range of purposes without even notifying you.

We had about 10 different options to chose from... We went for one of the medium level ones (no names). For the few months prior to us returning DDs photos appeared quite a few times in various bits of media, online and in print (in a positive way, it wasn't a negative news story). But we don't like it being 'searchable' by name.

Its not all that unusual but in my experience it usually is just the kids in care who arent allowed to be shown, so no nothing wrong with your decision but that may be what people assume (or that might be specific to my school, I don't know). Also if the photos are shared on the parent app other parents will save them and share them on their social media, so if you feel very strongly about it then I recommend you ask the school to blur their faces on that too

As part of my role in school I oversee all of our social media and photograph permissions.

We have around 25-30% of the total school who decline Facebook and Twitter - more for Facebook than Twitter actually, but we don't differentiate between the two for ease of uploading. I keep a list of those not allowed and check before uploading. I try to avoid ones where I have to blur a child out and crop or take photographs without them instead as looks better.

We also have seesaw - so individual password protected and can only see their own work. We have 2 children out of 270 who can't have their photograph on that, though we need to check one of those as we think it's an error (older sibling can be on)

As part of seesaw we also have a class blog - password protected but whole class have access. 4 out of 270 cannot be on that, though we need to query 3 of these, as think some may be an error (possible language misunderstanding.)

It's not unusual to have 3 or 4 at least in a class not allowed on Facebook/Twitter though, and it has increased amongst some groups of parents in recent years.

Tickly - we have some parents who say to check first but I have to admit, for ease, I just put them in my sheet as not to include. I understand why parents might choose that option but I simply don't have time to check with parents before posting, so I just leave them off.

I don't see why a school needs to post photos of young children on social media so I declined for DD to appear in such posts

My own social media has the tightest restrictions on what content is viewable - ie friends and family only and they cant share the photos I post so why would I agree to a school posting photos of DD that could be accessed by anyone?

We had about 10 different options to chose from... We went for one of the medium level ones (no names).

For safeguarding reasons, schools should not post names or identifying details about children in photos, so this sounds like a wise choice.

No yournot the only one, we have always said no to any online photo publication from school. We said yes for them to use photos in school publication like their brochures or photos on the wall at school. But not on their twitter account.

Some parents might think your DC is in care or under child protection or something. I opted out initially after a nasty divorce with ex.
It’s always one of those when you go to assemblies etc and the teacher says to the parents “we have a child who can’t be on pictures so no photos please” and everyone tuts and gives you a sideways look. There is always one though!

It's entirely up to you and you don't need to justify your reasons, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks although putting a squiggle on certian faces seems an odd way to do it. I don't really see why schools need to put photos on public twitter accounts and definitely not whole class ones with one person crossed out, is that normal?

At my DCs school they post activity type pictures and I assume take the common sense approach of not picking those that have children in who can't be posted

Mine are adopted.
We have a blanket no.
Easier for us than saying yes to something and no to others.

We would permit photos for 'personal use' at concerts etc, but primary school banned them anyway as too many parents abused this and plastered all over SM.

YANBU I don't even post pictures of my children on my own social media, so I absolutely decline any use of pictures by school, clubs, etc. It's just not necessary. My DC tell me about their day, I don't need to see pictures too.

YANBU at all! Very common for parents to opt out of photos of their children on social media as well as any school website/promotional materials. It's probably other parents you have to be more careful of when filming/taking photos of Christmas plays, sports days etc, which may (inadvertently) contain images of your DC and then get plonked on their own social media channels. Many schools ban photos or filming of these events or advise against them being put on social media but some schools don't.

Thank you everyone! This was really insightful and has helped greatly! 😊

YANBU. We decline. We are the only ones in the class. DC is not in case, adopted, we are not divorced - we just don’t share any images of them ourselves online so why would we knowingly allow someone else to? (Yes, we cant control what other parents take or do; but you control what you can.) I felt awkward at first but I also strongly feel that DC should get a chance to decide for themselves what exists online about them - as much as is possible. The schoolTwitter account is completely public (I have no idea why this is necessary: why not make it parents only? Who on earth else actually needs to see these??). It doesn’t benefit DC themselves at all to have their photo on there - they don’t ever look at Twitter - so in my opinion it’s really just for the parents benefit. And honestly...while it’s lovely I’m sure, to see what they’re up to, our parents managed without it. I’ve been asked twice if I would consent to something in particular and said yes: neither time did it actually appear online in the end. Stick to your guns. It doesn’t matter what other people think.

In care!!

For us it was important (job related) for them not to be identifiable so no names and faces together but just pictures we were happy with so that might be a middle ground. You may though need to accept that for the nativity play for example she might be third sheep and on the far side of the stage so easier to crop than Mary.

You may though need to accept that for the nativity play for example she might be third sheep and on the far side of the stage so easier to crop than Mary.

Schools absolutely shouldn't make decisions on who gets drama roles based on photos.
They can tweet a picture of the 3 kings, or take a group shot at the end after removing Mary if needed.

We decline too. I don't put photos of them on social media so why would I let anyone else? Once it's on the Internet it's there forever (in one way or another) and I would have been mortified as a teenager if photos of 7yo me suddenly appeared.

I very much doubt any school would avoid giving a kid a lead role just because their parents declined photos. They will often be popped at the end of group shots so easier to crop off, but never actually excluded from anything unless you've got a pretty shitty school

The schoolTwitter account is completely public

Our school twitter and Facebook are public.

We have other methods for parent only viewing such as the class blogs and the individual seesaw journal als.

We use twitter and Facebook for our public face - new parents can see us, our local community can see us, etc. We need a public face as well as a private one.

@Aragog, yes and I completely accept that. I don’t see why photos which are basically updating parents on what their kids are doing every day need to be on there though. Promotional photos including children. - fine. But not a steady stream of dozens of images every single day. No new/prospective parent needs all that.

Children should not and do not need to be on any form of social media. How much time is wasted updating SM accounts?