Dyslexia.. if my son is diagnosed will he be taken out of mainstream school? How will he be diagnosed what is the process of getting a diagnosis? HELP

[Lunalady21]

Just what the title says really.
My six year old boy is struggling really badly. He can't even memorise one word! We've been doing the same 8 words for a week and he still can't read write or spell any of them out (four letter words). He can't recite the alphabet, he can't say the days of the week, months of the year. He can't recognise simple words and just say them without having to sound them using phonics. I've spoken to the headmistress this morning and she said he's being put on a list to be 'tested'.
What is the process and what will happen pending the outcome? Will he be sent to a different school if they can't facilitate the help he needs? He's at the point where he's so frustrated he refuses to do it now. We tried all through lockdown to do simple easy words and books and it still just hasn't stuck to his brain. Any advice would be very much appreciated. I brought this up to the school last term and they said he would catch up every child is different but I think there is something wrong and he needs extra help.

I’m no expert but have a DD (9) with reading issues.
Dyslexia literally just means “difficulty reading”. In my opinion it’s not a diagnosis - more a symptom of an underlying cause. Sometimes the underlying cause is found, sometimes not. If not, the label dyslexia is used.
Examples of causes (excluding global intellectual delay):
Visual problems, auditory problems, autism, ADHD, dyspraxia, language disorder.
This list is not exhaustive.
A complete assessment would include a specialist visual assessment, specialist auditory assessment, speech therapist, occupational therapist, educational psychologist.
You may have to go privately for some of these. I’d prioritise the visual and auditory testing in case there’s a hearing or sight issue that can be medically corrected.
You may be able to zone in on some of these yourself eg
How is his speech? Hesitant? Does he understand everything you say or frequently ask you to repeat yourself?
Is he clumsy? Good/bad at sports?
Is he fidgety? Does he have sensory issues?
Is he well behaved/emotionally stable?
Does he find it easy/hard to make friends?
How is his focus/attention for things he enjoys?

In the meantime, how to help him?
Again I’m no expert but here’s how I tried to help DD:

1. Acknowledge to him that he has trouble reading. He’s not stupid - just the reading part of his brain is slower and unfortunately that has a knock-on effect with everything else at school. Assure him you’re on it and you’ll find a way to help him in time. Tell him constantly how amazing he is.
2. Read, read, read to him. Every single day. Stories he loves. This will help to advance his vocabulary and he won’t feel left out when his friends discuss things they’ve read. He will associate books with pleasure, not pain. In time you could try “paired reading” where you and he take turns reading a sentence. If he gets a word wrong or struggles with it, simply say the word and allow him to quickly move on. The aim is to keep the story flowing. Poor readers lose all track of a story because it takes them so long to struggle through each word that they forget what’s happened in the previous sentence. No wonder they lose all pleasure in it.
3. Don’t let him fall behind in maths because he can’t read the questions or has trouble following verbal explanations (if it’s a language or attention issue). Insist that the teachers use visual and practical prompts to teach him maths eg counting beads, putting things in boxes, drawing pictures etc and do this yourself with him at home.
4. Get the assessments done - could take a couple of years to get through them all. The school will be obliged to offer him resource teaching if the assessments agree with your concerns. In time, if he has a dyslexic issue confirmed, he may get exemptions such as extra exam time, allowed to use spell-check etc (more important in secondary school).
5. I did Toe by Toe with DD when she was 8 and found it very helpful. By that time she had built up so many gaps in her literacy that her dyslexia was being doubly compounded. Toe by Toe helped to reset that part of the problem. It doesn’t suit everyone but there are other teaching/therapy books and computer aids out there that may suit you and your DS. Once you go searching you’ll find yourself being bombarded with ads for expensive online programmes costing hundreds of pounds so beware! Toe by Toe cost me £15. Call me old fashioned but I don’t think you can beat some one-on-one with an adult who has been taught how to teach the child (as Toe by Toe and other similar books do).
6. Find something he IS good at and enjoys. Sport? Art? Music? Puzzles? Self-defence? Push him a little bit at whatever it is so that he has a “thing” he can do to a higher level than some of his friends.

I know you need money for some of the above - fortunately we do, but I feel so much sympathy for people who don’t. One thing your DS does have is a mum who has (a) spotted there’s a problem and (b) loves him and will push to help him. So he’s lucky there 🙂 Best of luck!

OP Google Executive Function and Processing Speed, they may shed a little light on the 'why' of some of the things your son struggles with.

School can't assess anything, they are not qualified to. All they can do is carry out a simple screening test which is not a medical diagnosis and depending on how good they are, they may be able to help him a little.

I agree with @Coronawireless, a comprehensive multidisciplinary assessment would be good, you'd know exactly why he was struggling and what with and have recommendations and strategies to help him.

Wow I'm overwhelmed with all the great advice!
A bit of info about my boy. He is well behaved, he's a very kind and loving boy and is great at making friends. He's very confident even with strangers (as in children he knows stranger danger) and introduces himself like he's an old man lol he's so bloody sweet. He can strike up a conversation with anybody although he struggles pronouncing long words. Even when we say it slowly and make him copy he can't say the full word he makes one up instead! He just loves to be outdoors. He loves fishing, bike riding, scooting and generally running around! He's so full of energy but I think he finds school so mentally draining he walks into school like he's walking into Game of Thrones I hate sending him. I raided the issue last year as I found the homework beyond ridiculous even then so they sent him cutting out and sticking homework just once a month I will definitely read to him more and audiobooks sound great I enjoy reading myself we could snuggle up in bed and listen! I really appreciate everyone's advice I will be taking it all on board and hopefully get my boy the help he needs 💖

Also I'm so happy to see so many people who are successful in life after struggling as a child. As parents we wish the best for our children.

Glad you are feeling a bit more positive.

A PP mentioned having specialist sight and hearing. Don't know about the hearing, but DS saw a consultant Optometrist, who specialised in Children's learning. As he was 17 he was too old for an NHS appointment but it was worth the money. She is dyslexic herself and really helped him understand the visual aspect of his processing difficulties.

School can refer him to audiology to test his hearing - well we can where I am!

From what you say - good on his feet, good socially and behaviourally, but poor at pronunciation - I’m guessing his underlying issue may be a language or auditory processing disorder (same as my DD). A speech therapist with an interest in dyslexia would do a formal assessment there.
There’s no cure but there are ways to help him to learn differently (visually and practically as opposed to verbal/written instructions) and there will be ways they can be accommodated at school, esp secondary school. In my (inexpert) opinion, once they’ve been assessed, telling the child what is wrong is good for their self esteem because they‘ll know they’re not stupid and with help they’ll figure out what they need to do to work around their issues.

Dyslexic adult here. Apologies for any spelling or grammar errors in my post.

Be patient with your child.

I wasn't diagnosed until 18 and half way through a levels. I just thought I was stupid and slow.

Try different coloured paper and font. I can't read red or purple but any other colour font is fine. I like yellow paper to read off.

Don't discount television for learning words and numbers. Loads of BBC programs available.

If your child has slow progressing then repetition is your friend.

Don't get frustrated. I remember my parents frustration and it still bothers me.

Use props and objects.

Use an abacus or tokens for counting to help your child visually.

Show your child what the word is for example the earth show him the earth watch space programs. Give context.

Make it fun. If it's fun it's easier and you and your child want to participate.

Use your child's interest. If your child likes flamingos then use flamingos.

Get creative.

Reward reward reward. It's hard for you both.

Education is better for dyslexic kids and the work place is better for dyslexic employees.

Everyone has a place. It's just a case of finding that place.

Find something your child is good at. Do that thing a lot so they feel successful it will boost confidence.

PM me if you would like to talk.

Best of luck

No matter what the cause he will need help with reading specific to dyslexic children (contact your local dyslexic association for advice) either at school (Resource teaching), at home (using specialist aids) or with a tutor - whichever seems to fit him best.
My DD refused to do the school resource teaching as she didn’t want the other children to see her doing it. So I told her she’d have to do extra work at home instead, 15-20 mins per day, which she accepted. I took advice from the school SEN as to what they would have done if she had gone to them.
Boosting of self -esteem so important.
Try to make school a happier place for him (teachers must be pushed on this!). You may need to do some teaching at home for a while (Teachers need to help you with this) to help him keep up so that he doesn’t feel so pressurised at school and can relax more and just be with his friends in the classroom. That’s not to say he can go on the doss, but if he’s prepared to do some of the work at home he can ease up at school. Otherwise it will become a place he hates and he may start to refuse to go.
Girls turn these problems inwards (anxiety, depression), boys turn them outwards (disruptive, school refusal). So try to break that cycle early and firmly if you can.
He sounds like a lovely child - as is my DD.
Again, best of luck!

Some great posts here it's a shame they can't be kept in special dyslexia topic.

Agree with everything except, be prepared for the school offering little help ours is useless and our school not interested at all...

I've got my dd up from ort level 6 in lock down to level 8 teetering level 9.

I've worked 20 a day with her.. Our break through was a magnetic spelling board like a rainbow pattern behind, the dc put the alphabet on it, and pull down the letters.
As pp said, everything needs context...
. They need to see, touch things. I've also been doing as pp said re showing them the earth, getting the globe out to look for Africa... The Pacific ocean.. Luckily we are near London so I could show her the London musuem great fire of London exhibition, I could get her on the earth quake simulation at nhm.

This repeat and back up and showing has helped.
. Flash cards. Going back to basic books with two words a page... Then building up again helped.
To read a whole book gave her such a boost (only about 20 words!!)...

In maths she needs visual aids...
Everything needs to have context and mean something.
Once we were given the spelling rainbow tip... Her confidence grew enormously. Also we use a small white board and different colour pens to practise spelling or I use it as visual aid all the time when teaching or explaining. We also started reading eggs, an on line reading program and the best thing eer...

Reading chest which had all schools books scheme so we can order our own school books, then send them back via post, then they send us more.

I came on to day what @Coronawireless has said, that I’d want a broader SN screen (dyslexia often co-morbid with other things) - what jumps out at me is that you aren’t sure he learns well outside of getting 1:1 attention (my dd is the same), and that could become a significant learning difficulty - there could be various reasons for that over and dyslexia.

It’s very often the children that are well behaved, sweet, not disruptive that struggle for years without a dx because they’re no trouble. I’m not a fan of wait and see for kids that are discouraged and struggling.

7 is the gateway age at which most professionals seem to feel more comfortable diagnosing.

Have you taken him to a second opinion optician, an optometrist that specialises in compelled issues such as how the eyes work together? If not I recommend booking that straight away.

Agree with everything except, be prepared for the school offering little help ours is useless and our school not interested at all

It makes me furious that some schools fail dyslexic kids. Universities are usually extremely good at providing support but sadly many kids leave or fail to progress in education to get there.

Dyslexic kids need to learn through multiple formats such as film or audio aids and this is something lots of non-dyslexics can benefit from too.

Agree that many schools will offer little support especially if dyslexia is not severe. We had a DC with severe dyslexia and one primary still didn’t offer much support! We moved schools and the next school was a lot better. Same area, just much better Senco. Think it can vary a lot.

This sounds just like my DS. I'm finding it so tough as my DD is just fine, never had any issues and I don't feel like the school is listening. They send home these lists of sight words and he cannot remember any of them 5 minutes later. He literally guesses! I'm so confused because (maybe to me!) he seems so bright. He can tell me facts about dinosaurs but can't remember the word "what" from one day to the next?

I think I am going to ask the school about testing him to get a proper diagnosis.

Lots of really good advice on here OP. Your son won’t be able to concentrate for long, his working memory won’t be able to hold the information and if he’s classically dyslexic (suspect he is) then getting that info processed into his long term memory takes time too.

To give you an idea, I have stealth dyslexia so only my working memory is very poor and I can only read for 4-5 mins (or two pages) of an academic book before I need to stop and let it process in. I do cleaning or housework for 10mins before going back to read the next 2 pages and it feels like I’m learning continuously.

Another way is to link learning with another sense eg bouncing on the trampoline while spelling out those four letter words. I found this highly effective with my DS who was tested at 3% to 4% processing ability in year 4.

Travel time in the car was a good one for spelling too or singing the alphabet.

Little and often. His brain needs time to take in that bit of information, and remember that while one day you both think it’s gone in the next day you may find you’re back to square one. He’ll get frustrated but that’s how it is for him so encourage his resilience and celebrate each small step. He’ll get there!

Hi @Lunalady21

My DD is dyslexic and we were supported by an EP throughout this process. It is worrying, but in the end if far far better to find out and work out what your son needs to support him access the curriculum.

My advice would be support the school to undertake the test and then make a decision based on what he needs. There are plenty of 'dyslexia friendly' mainstream and independent schools out there....special schools are not the only choice and aren't right for many dyslexic children.

Good luck!