Should I send 4yr old to the toilet?

[2boys1man1dog]

My dad is starting school in reception and if left to his own devices will still wee a little in his clothes before deciding to go to the toilet. If he is busy watching a film or something he will just ignore his wet pants or not even notice because he is so interesting in what he’s doing. I am torn between a) leaving it up to him, hoping it will ‘click’ for him to work out how to get to the toilet before he wees and b) wanting to send him to the toilet before snacks and meals to get a routine going to help him stay dry. What do you think?

I mean ds, not dad! Haven’t worked out if I can correct that as new on here!

Send him to the toilet.

Start sending him on the hour every hour, it sounds like he is distracted. I ask my three year old all the time if she needs the toilet, it is annoying for everyone but less irritating than soiled clothes!

Some gentle reminding will not go amiss. You don't want to have him humiliated if he has an accident, though that is not uncommon!
I probably drove my daughter mad asking if she needed to 'go', she tended to hold on to her wee and many times I dropped her off and she still hadn't been to the toilet. He needs to recognize when he needs to go before he wets himself, and you can help him do that.

Can you find the break times for school? Then send him at the times school are going to promote toilet trips.

Create a regular toilet routine at home. Don’t ask him - tell him it’s toilet time. 20 minutes after each main meal and again before bed.

Tell the teacher your ds won’t go unless being told/reminded and ask what the routine in school is. Ask if the TA can make sure he goes at regular intervals. This may feel like you are asking them to do more, but a quick bit of guidance to get a child using the toilet is far better than having to clean and change children.

An experienced teacher & TA should be happy to accommodate this with 4&5 year olds. It won’t be just your child that has this problem!

Thanks for the advice!

Get him into a routine. Definitely are sure he can change himself if he has an accident at school and has lots if spare clothes.

Make sure, not, are sure!

Send him to the toilet. He won't be able to wet himself at school and must learn to go regularly. Do talk to him about it.