Need advice please!

[amum23]

Hi. This is my first ever post on mumsnet. My DS who is quite hardworking but in his school report he has been given 2s as effort grade in most of his subject, which I think is unfair. All his friends said that all of them have got 1s in everything, even they were shocked that how he has been given 2s as everyone knows he is very hard working. How should I ask the teacher that why only its him who got most 2s?

Why would you even bother. These scores mean nothing - perhaps he messes around occasionally or is talkative. Its too much of a coincidence for them all to be 2's so maybe it is his behaviour. At our school 2's are 'mostly works well' which sounds fine. You after all said he was 'quite' hardworking, not 'very' hardworking.

People generally are poor judges of effort in other people, studies even show achievement influences effort (ie the kids who always achieve well are judged to have worked harder even if they completely "phoned it in")

Of course this also implies you are less likely to have judged the hard working well yourself, maybe he isn't working hard.

Either way, it's almost certainly irrelevant, but it absolutely does not hurt to ask the teacher, they have to provide the opportunity to discuss the report, so go for it, do it.

I would arrange a meeting to discuss his progress. Always good to establish that parents are active and will support at home.

Always good to establish that parents are active and will support at home.

Which would suggest that the opener for the meeting should be, How can we help X demonstrate to your satisfaction that he is putting more effort into his work?, rather than, YABU grading him as a 2 for effort, when all his friends got 1s, though.

Was there no 'free text' to the report? Does the teacher think that he is capable of doing (even?) better, attainment-wise, but isn't doing enough to fulfil this?

I really wouldn’t worry about it! I wouldn’t say it’s unfair as you presumably don’t see him in school as part of a group of 30? Different to home. I would only worry if there were actual concerns about his effort.

Also, it’s highly unlikely that it’s only him that got mostly twos!

DD would get twos because she doesn’t try hard because she doesn’t need to.

She’s capable without trying.

I wouldn’t give a crap about school reports

Say something like ‘I’m concerned about ds’s effort grades. what does he need to do to improve? How can we help him at home’?

Did they say anything about how they’ve graded them? I’m a teacher in a primary school and we made it clear that the reports were focused on Sept-Feb - we’ve not commented or graded any work that was done at home. I just wondered if your school has included the effort they’ve put in at home, or if it’s just up until they had to close.

It’s unlikely that he’s the only child in the class to have mostly 2s. And I do agree that it’s hard to judge other people’s effort.

But if you are going to talk to the teacher about it, then MarchingFrogs advice is the way to go.

My advice is to stop comparing your child's report to other children's reports, and not to swap grades and teacher's comments with other parents. As you have found out to your cost it doesn't always go in your favour. There is no need for other parents, let alone their children ,to know what is in your child's report, or for you to know what is in theirs.

Don't be secret squirrel about it, just keep discussions very vague, pick out a couple of positive comments and share them " very pleased he is using a wider vocabulary in his story writing, all those bedtime stories are bearing fruit, he was so delighted Miss X commented on the school choir, he really has enjoyed it this year."

If you have issues with the accuracy of the report that is between you and the teacher.