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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Birthday parties in reception......

17 replies

warmsummersday · 28/09/2007 19:50

Hi. My LO started reception 3 weeks ago and has already been invited to 2 parties and the whole class was invited (19 kids). My LO will be 5 in november and I don't know if I should invite the whole class plus her 10 other friends. She has said she wants a fairy party and doesn't want to invite most of the boys. What do I do? I don't want to be the odd one out!

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princessmel · 28/09/2007 19:52

Just invite who you want to invite. Its hard being one of the first people to have a party as you dont want to leave anyone out.
Maybe they've invited everyone as they don't have many other friends.

We just asked 5 of ds's friends when he started. If anyone said anything, I just said he has loads of cousins and friends out of school so we cant have everyone. That was the truth. People understand. ds goes to lots of parties but not all of them. None of them do.

brimfull · 28/09/2007 19:53

I would have a fairy party and invite all the girls.

Carbonel · 28/09/2007 20:18

I think inviting just the girls is generally accepted as Ok in a smaller class. At my dc's old school every child ws invited to every party except for a couple of 'all girls' parties.

It depends on what you want / can afford / how many other friends and relations you want to ask / size of the hall etc!

This year ds wants sfot play so we cannot invite the whole class plus all his frinds from old school / old house etc so we are doing the soft play for school and having a 'get together the next day for 'old' frinds etc. Double to effort but hopefully double the fun and a chance for most of our friends to see the new house

SSSandy2 · 28/09/2007 20:19

I don't think you need to invite the whole class if that's not what she wants

lapsedrunner · 28/09/2007 20:20

Just invite who you want. We had 8 (7 boys & 1 girl) to DS 5th party last week.

chankins · 28/09/2007 20:24

Hello - I'd say let her invite who she wants and don't worry about it - loads of other parents will do the same as the year goes on. If you don't mind I'd like to pose a question of my own in this subject ; my dd was 5 two days before she actually started school, so I told her we'd wait a few weeks and see who she wanted to invite and do a party later. We had one at home with my friends kids and her cousins on the day. Now 3 weeks into school, she's getting on fine but hasn't mentioned specific names of kids she has made friends with, and I can't afford to invite more than about 5 or 6. Tempted to leave it and wait til next year as she seems to have forgotten the plan anyway! Is that really mean ?

Kaz33 · 28/09/2007 21:36

Oh give her a birthday party.

My DS1 was 4 in August and we had just moved to the area so knew no one. We waited until christmas and then threw a christmas art party for about 5 or 6 of his new friends. He loved it and like an elephant he hadn't forgotten that we had promised him a birthday party.

Smithagain · 28/09/2007 21:36

DD1 has just gone into year 1. During Reception, DD1 went to half a dozen parties out of a class of about 27. And she is probably middle-of-the-road popular, so I'm guessing that the majority of children went to a similar number of parties.

As far as I know, only one child invited the whole class. But there were several which were all the girls or all the boys.

And there will be plenty of mummies who breathe a sigh of relief if you establish a precedent that it is NOT necessary to invite every darn one of them!!

ChasingSquirrels · 28/09/2007 21:42

we just had ds1's 5th on monday, at home, traditional type party - we invited 7 kids,

2 not at his school but known from post-natal and seen alot since (every week or more)
3 from the class above who he was really friendly with at pre-school the year before and who he was adamant that he was inviting
1 his best friend from pre-school last year who is in his class with him
1 a new friend he made on the first day of school, who he came home on that first day saying "I have made a new friend". There are 21 in his class, he knew 15 of them from pre-school.

The week before a girl in his class had her 5th and had it at a sports centre (bouncy castle etc), there seemed to be all the pre-school kids there (but none of the new ones - though invites were sent out before the holidays) plus others and family.

Personally there is no way I would do a whole class party.

thelittleElf · 28/09/2007 21:49

I have to say they do this at my charges school and i've never understood why . All that happens is you end up with a headache, and the child ends up with a big bag of plastic crap .

What happend to a few friends round for some cake and a few party games ....is is any wonder kids these days expect the earth

Ahhhh thats better

cat64 · 28/09/2007 22:00

This reply has been deleted

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Original poster

warmsummersday · 28/09/2007 22:03

Thanks. Yes I know I quite fancy doing a party myself for her. I did that last year but it was hard work and stressful! and the thought of 30 kids!

I know she has 3 more parties coming up and again they have invited the whole class.

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Mercedes · 28/09/2007 22:15

My dd's birthday was 4 days after she started school and she knew i other girl. We promised that we would hold a party for her later on when she knew more people. In the end we did a party at halloween with lots of bobbing for apples alongside musical chairs and pass the parcel. It worked really well.

hellywobs · 02/10/2007 16:10

I have invited the whole class - partly because I want to meet some mums (am bribing to stay with drinks and nibbles) as I work nearly full time and partly because my son's birthday is near the beginning of the school year so he won't have had time to make loads of friends. I am not intending to do it next year! I also don't think everyone will come and am expecting about 2/3 to say yes.

hellywobs · 02/10/2007 16:11

I am a bit worried about the mountain of plastic crap too - my ds' bedroom is small. I wanted to ask for book tokens instead but decided that would be way too cheeky....

Clary · 03/10/2007 22:45

Oh yes you don't need to invite the whole class.

DS2 went to a pal's b/day party the other week (so very early in yr) and he was the only one (out of about 10 guests plus a couple of older ones) from the b/day boy's class.

That's just fine, no-one's counting. And anyway who wants to do a party for 30 5yos?
(well me, but that's another story )

Hellywobs you might be (unpleasantly?) surprised. IME everyone comes to a b/day party unless struck down by lurgy on the day.

ChasingSquirrels · 03/10/2007 22:49

just to add to this, there have been another 2 birthdays in ds1's class.
boy - not in the feeder pre-school, birthday 1st day of term, no "kids" party that I am aware of (know other friends of his).
boy - was at the feeder pre-school, b'day is the day after my ds. Don't know if he had a party or not, am assuming he did - he had one last year and ds1 wasn't invited. They don't play together at all - so wouldn't expect him to be invited (unless it was whole class I suppose).
So out of 4 kids birthdays so far, only 1 has been a whole class thing.

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