Commonly used phrases in school reports.... what do they really mean?

[dimsumdiddly]

DS aged 9 got his school report yesterday. It was good(ish) but describes him as "strong-willed and determined". What does this mean in "teacher language" do you think and are there any more phrases good or bad that you should look out for?

"She can be a sociable and happy member of the group" aka she isn't at all?

"She can be a sociable and happy member of the group" aka she isn't at all?

Either this needs, "when things are going her way." to complete the sentence, or it implies that she's sometimes moody, but not all the time, and possibly due to factors outside her control.

*A real character.

As a teacher I knew exactly what this meant.

Not a compliment.*

Yep I must admit I'd be quite pleased with this phrase so it could be misleading if you write it when they're a little shit.

"She can be a sociable and happy member of the group" aka she isn't at all?

I'd take that to mean that she was a bit up and down or volatile because if she wasn't sociable and happy at all then why include those words?

'Can be...' , 'Is usually...' or words to that effect mean they are able to behave in a certain way and are occasionally choosing not to rather than are unable to due to immaturity or special needs.

Up and down would describe her quite well. She does have SEN though.

Doesn't listen and doesn't so as he's told

On a more positive note, anything with the word 'asset' in it means that the teacher would like to adopt your child.

Ok jumping on this thread as I’m left a bit puzzled by a sentence in my DS1’s (yr 2) report - I think (hope) its too low level to be bothering to contact the teacher (never contacted them before) to ask but maybe someone here can help assess please!
“X loves to please and sometimes feels, I think, that he needs to keep his friends happy. He has a lot to offer as friend and therefore it would be great if he could expand his friendship group even further next year.”

There’s 6 of them that are very close, they’ve all been split into different classes next year after being together for 3 years, earlier in the report it said “X has a lovely group of friends who never seem to have many problems which is a testimony to how mature they are.“ So initial thought was that they’re a nightmare and silly together but now wonder if she thinks DS is too easily led or being taken advantage of?! Rest of the report was nice to read.

Pawpawpaws
I'd read that as your child is a lovely and friendly child who others would be lucky to call a friend, but unfortunately some of his smaller circle either take advantage of him

@pawpawpaws

It does sound a bit conflicting, based on those two quotes. I wonder if they were trying to put a positive spin on your son being split up from these best friends of his next year - ie. He's a fab kid so he should make more friends in his new class really easily.

Or maybe it is that he has the potential to be easily led or taken advantage of.

Or... The teacher was just not being very careful with their words and meant something totally different (certainly something that happens often!)

To be honest, I wouldn't worry about it, but if you are at all worried, maybe ask the teacher if is possible to do so.

Those two quotes don't seem to fit together do they @pawpawpaws ?

It sounds as if he's bending over backwards to be a good friend and not getting as much out of the friendship as he puts in. They want him to widen his social circle to find friendships that are a bit more equal.

Those two quotes don't seem to fit together do they @pawpawpaws ?

It sounds as if he's bending over backwards to be a good friend and not getting as much out of the friendship as he puts in. They want him to widen his social circle to find friendships that are a bit more equal.

Thanks for the replies that’s really helpful and in a way I’m glad it wasn’t just me who was confused by whatever they were trying to convey! I wanted to check out whether there was some flag in what had been written that meant we should perhaps be working with him to understand friendships and behaviour better. I’m leaning towards thinking the friendships might not be equal but I don’t think I’ll worry about it as DS has never spoken of any concerns, the teacher hasn’t raised it previously and different classes next term.

This is a really interesting thread!

How about this one- dd, current year 4, 9 years old and always has fantastic reports.

“ xxxx is charismatic “

My ds once had X is non conformist on his report. As if I did not already know it.

That's another one which is nice by itself but can be change in meaning depending on what else is said. If the report said something like "x is charismatic and is learning to show kindness in her dealings with others" that'd indicate a Queen Bee/bit of a ringleader. If it's just charismatic then I'd take it that she's generally likeable and popular.

I was told by Head of Sixth form, be totally honest when writing UCAS references but do not include any negative comments. Right then, so good students got glowing references and really bad students got very small, factual references and even picking out good bits from subject references there was very little I could put.

I think xxxx is Charismatic is generally a positive comment indicating a well liked child that others gravitate to. If it's qualified by something (as in pp example or "xx is charismatic but friendships get in the way of work," type comments) it could be a negative but as a stand alone comment it's so merging lovely to write on a report when you have nothing negative to write about them.