Changing schools for year 4 - experiences please

[parrotonmyshoulder]

Can you talk to me about your children’s experience of changing schools during primary? For a number of reasons we are considering this option, but it is hard to weigh it up. DS is quiet but active, struggling very much with school, very ‘young’. New school is big, old school is small.

Hi, we recently did this at a similar age. I would say that I was surprised how quickly our DC made new friends, but there was a lot of heartache along the way. They adjust quickly to the present but are more aware of missing things, if that makes sense.

They then got pretty settled and covid happened! Which has made me question the decision to a certain extent. Maybe something to consider as further lockdowns etc are possible - maybe best to minimise change for now.
I would say it’s a big thing and only do it if you really need to... but overall I agree with the usual Mumsnet line that primary kids do well with moves

We did it 12 months ago, including an international move.
Lockdown has been hard, as he has only been able to keep in touch with 2 of them.
Otherwise, no problem.

Thank you. We did move DD in year 2 but that was a house move so no decision to be made really. This feels much more of a responsibility. DH quite resistant to change - more a ‘better the devil you know’ perspective.

My dd went in to year four as we had been living abroad, so not quite the same. I actually think she found it quite difficult and I was surprised as she’s confident and sociable. It was a junior school so there had already been some shake up but although she made friends that she was friends with in school, those friends didn’t translate to out of school. The parents were quite closed to newcomers.

I’m a teacher and I like bigger schools more than smaller ones for friendships. The primary school my dc went to before this one was bigger than the high school they are at now. I think it helps them male friends being with lots of people.

It very much depends on the reasons you are moving and where you’re moving too. Some children adapt beautifully, some never really manage to find their place after a move.

In your position I’d write out a list with the pros and cons and go from there. It’s such a personal balance and you’ll always be taking a chance to some degree.

Yes I remember the ‘devil you know’ argument! What are your reasons for moving can I ask?
For one of my DC it has been almost entirely positive in the end as it turned out he was semi-bullied practically every day by two ‘friends’ in his class at his old school

That was also a small school which I agree with PP has two sides - you know everyone which is nice and cosy but friendship options are limited and groups can feel claustrophobic...

We moved my youngest daughter in Yr 4 & Yr 6. Both times, we arranged a party two weeks in for about 6-8 girls, with parents welcome to stay for a cup of tea if they wanted to. It was very low key both times so there was no big deal with anyone who wasn’t invited...it was just like a big play date. We then made sure that she had plenty of play dates in the next few months. It worked really well and as a young adult, she’s retained friendships with people from her previous schools.

I moved one of mine at a similar age and it worked out fine. I'd thought about moving her a year or so earlier but discounted it then as she was happy in school whereas she wasn't by the time she moved - I worked on the theory of not moving a happy child unless you have to. If your DD is happy and settled in school then unless there's a pressing reason, I'd tend to leave her where she is. If she isn't, there's less to lose and more potentially to gain.

Just realised yours is a boy not a girl, sorry!

No he’s not particularly happy and it’s a combination of that and his learning (pre lockdown) that is swaying me. I suppose I’ve now lost faith in the current school. DD is leaving Y6 this year so it could be a clean break.
The issues are unlikely to be addressed as I tried with DD. I know that makes me sound like the problem!

I am wondering what on earth a PP could have broken talk guidelines with on a straightforward thread like this?!