How much work should parents do under normal circumstances?

[willowdeandickson]

Homeschool life over the last few months has me wondering how much effort are parents expected to do with children under normal circumstances?
Previously, I always took the approach that children should have plenty of time to play, do fun educational activities (nothing extravagant, but things like learning how things work, talking about animals we see out on a walk, etc) and learn through day to day life.
To that end, whilst I did homework activities and encouraged reading and opportunities to learn about stuff, I didn't over-emphasize phonics, maths, etc.
My son (Reception relatively young for his year) was bumbling along in the bottom half of the class, quite shy but I figured he would catch up eventually and the teacher didn't offer much guidance either for us or on additional support.
Homeschool has worked wonders for him, with the one-to-one enabling him to catch up and in some areas shoot ahead. I am willing and able to continue to work with him, but obviously it isn't easy as I work full-time and this is hard to fit in. It is usually around 90 minutes of actual school work a day, a mix of work set by the teacher and additional worksheets/activities/reading that I source.
I also wonder if this is what is required to keep him up to the appropriate standards of attainment, then will I need to maintain this momentum when school is back full time?
What is the expectation under normal circumstances for the parents to contribute to schoolwork?
The school he attends is 'academic' (we live in an 11+ area), so perhaps that plays a part, but at the same time I am can/will do it, whereas a lot of other parents will not. Should I expect more from the school to support his learning too?

What does your school already have in place to support him?

@lucylastik well they don't... I suppose that's what I'm also wondering? He does 'fine', I don't think he has additional needs (he is very shy, but is doing ok socially, and probably doesn't concentrate in large group learning settings).
When we've been to parent-teacher meetings, the teacher has been a bit dismissive of him, like she isn't bothered as he isn't at the very bottom but not one of the high-fliers either, and I'm certainly not a pushy tiger parent. When I mentioned his shyness, all she said was I had to tell that he has to speak From the work I've done with him (I have some tenuous links to education so understand a bit), he seems capable but a little reluctant and lacking confidence.

I suppose what I'm wondering, is whether it is down to us as parents that we should have been doing more all along, or should I expect more support from the school for average-performing children who don't have specific additional needs?

My son (Reception relatively young for his year) was bumbling along in the bottom half of the class

What exactly do you mean by this? Reception is about play, and the few "academic" things are basic skills that can have some theory of mind situations that make it easier or not easy to acquire, but acquisition of the skills does not mean someone is in the top or bottom of a class.

It's entirely possible that it's not the time you've spent, but the child is simply now old enough to have developed the theory of mind required to understand the skills (for example even basic adding 2+2 needs some abstract concept beyond the concrete of physical blocks), but of course it's impossible to know.

The "fun educational activities", ie not homework but positive involvement from parents, are exactly the mechanism that is provided by parental privilege.

I think schools will always hope that parents will support and supplement learning at home, but they also recognise that a large proportion of parents won’t. Reading makes such a difference (both reading to him and listening to him read) so if you can only do one thing, do that.

@sirfredfredgeorge I agree with you, my initial understanding was that the focus would be on play, which was why I hadn't pushed the academic side of it too much. My son is actually in P1 (NI), but that is basically the same as Reception, however there is a very strong emphasis on reading, phonics, writing and maths with clear streaming/grouping of children according to ability. There is an expectation for homework to be completed 3-4 nights a week as well as reading for this year group.
For example, when I first met with teacher I expected to talk about how he was settling in, social side/play but she made it very clear that the discussion was to focus on academics.
I'm not sure whether this is due to this particular school, or maybe even the teacher, which was why I mentioned their academic slant, or that my expectations of what Reception would focus on were unrealistic - by the sounds of it, I'm not incorrect.
I do have some experience of working with older primary age children teaching them an extracurricular activity in a previous life, but I wouldn't fully understand the national curriculum or how it should be delivered.
I see your point that perhaps he is simply now ready to learn these concepts, which was something I hadn't considered already.

It's hard to articulate, but I think my concern is whether I should push him on the academic side at this stage, whether I should/need to keep it up to the extent we have been going at, whether it is typical of the school to put such an emphasis on this for Reception. I am willing to help him, but it's not sustainable long term, particularly when school is back and we are no longer at home.
@tiredanddangerous I also think that if this school is putting so much onus on the parents, then where does that leave the children at the school, if their parents don't do that and they are not acknowledging that?

The more a child is taught, the greater their ability will be in that subject. A child learns maths, reading or writing by doing maths, reading or writing. The more you can do with your child, the better your child will be at that subject.

However, pushing a child to do something is not teaching them that subject; it is only teaching them to dislike learning. So it is important to keep the learning fun, stop when the child wants to stop and make sure there is a good balance with other activities.

However, education does make a difference to a child's ability. 1to1 is quicker than in a class of 30+. It can also be the odd five minutes here and there. It does not have to be a planned half hour lesson.

You will obviously make quicker progress 1:1. Your ds is also more likely to make the effort to learn 1:1 whereas he may be lazier at school. Some kids learn fine in a group because they attend to the learning better than others. I am currently teaching a bubble with a small group of 8 kids. I can see easily what they are doing and how much they have grasped. I can also see who is attending to the learning; who is daydreaming; who mentally checks out when they see that there is some written or independent work coming up etc etc. I would say that as well as maybe going over what your ds finds difficult; maybe working on his independence will help him. E.g. Go over a maths concept with him. Set him a few questions to work through on his own and then go through it. This way you are also helping him to learn how to learn.

Just seen your ds is in reception. Scrap that. He needs to spend time learning through play and experience primarily.

We are wondering the same thing. DS in reception has also made much better progress at home with reading / maths.

In terms of how unusual your school's approach is, it sounds a lot more academic than ours (ours doesn't do enough), but 3 to 4 homeworks a week would feel too much to me at this age. From the schools round here the most I know of for reception is homework 1-2 times a week.

Our current thinking is that we won't try and do something after school but will try and do 30-60 minutes a day during school holidays to address gaps, trying to make it as much as possible doing the things he has really enjoyed doing at home over this time (e.g. making a little book to practice writing, playing maths games). It never would have occurred to me to do anything like this before lockdown.

@cansu yes independence is a hurdle, we do encourage him to do things himself but he needs some coaxing. Working from home has helped with that, as we will give him schoolwork tasks to do by himself while we are on conference calls, so he can't be so quick to say he doesn't know and ask for help.

@JustRichmal that was my concern, I didn't want to push him, but for the minute he (mostly) sees it as fun or his special time to get my attention.

@duckchick This isn't something I would have considered doing pre-lockdown either (mainly as I thought they would be mostly playing and learning about life in Year R), and once life resumes and we are commuting/in school/etc it will be more difficult to maintain. I am going to try to keep it up in the holidays too, and generally playing more games, which is easier to play now he has grasped the basics better.

Thanks for all your replies, it sounds like I didn't have unrealistic expectations of what Reception would be like, and that the school seems to be more academic than most. Perhaps with a different teacher next year, some of these issues will be addressed and he will hopefully be more confident in his abilities in class.

I didn't want to push him, but for the minute he (mostly) sees it as fun or his special time to get my attention.

It sounds, then, as though whatever you are doing is working well. My dd is now doing A levels and still loves learning, (mostly). Some say not to start too young, but I think this is when a child's mind is developing the fastest and anything you do in education will make a difference in the long run

We ask that parents read daily with their child and discuss the themes of the book and ask questions, so 20 minutes a day normally in Reception class.

Under Covid circumstances we ask 90 minutes a day of work.

On discussion with other primary schools only about 40-50% of parents/children are downloading work from school sites.

I would say if he is enjoying the learning presently then you are on the right track and would maintained your routine if you can.