a reading issue or something more...

[Supergran58]

For context, my grandson (I parent him) is in reception and is one of the youngest (late July birthday). I myself am a primary teacher in a different school so mostly know what is what when it comes to his education. He has always been ahead of the curve developmentally from being a tiny baby and all childcare providers he has had since being 4 months old plus a myriad of health visitors involved with him when he was on a child protection plan have evidenced this in documentation. said his first word at 8 months. combining words at 13 months and 4 and 5 word sentences by 20 months. During his preschool year he learnt all the letter sounds and was able read simple cvc words by about February time. I thought reception would be a peace of cake for him but how wrong I have been. He has always been self motivated in his learning, fascinated by animals and nature but not so keen on formal learning and unfortunately his teacher is very formal and very big on read, write inc. Anyway whilst his reading hasn't progressed as quickly as I thought it would and despite his relutance at home he started lockdown on yellow band and in the middle set for read write inc (seriously? setting 4 year olds?). During lockdown we started well but it became a daily battle to get him to read and he started regressing - forgetting even simple sounds, refusing to look at the print. I tried everything and then gave up as I felt we were getting into a negative cycle. He returned to school on Friday and tonight his teacher saw me at the gate (2m away of course) and said that he had regressed with his reading, not even recognising simple sounds and she has put him back a level. Now the thing is, I don't believe him. He is an incredibly strong willed child and I think he's deliberately pretending he can't do it to both me and his teacher. Has anybody had experience of this? What would be a way forward to preserve both his teacher and my sanity. I know he's still only 4 and I know in most countries he wouldn't be at school yet but I'm really concerned about where he is going with this and where it might end and I would like some strategies for turning things around?

Just a thought, and I say this with the experience of missing it until age 7, but has he had his eyes tested recently. It was only when we heard that attention was dropping in reading when she had been perfectly capable. Turned out +5 prescription needed....I felt awful I hadn't realised!

yes that has occurred to me. are opticians open yet? I will definitely follow this up as soon as I can

I had an email from boots recently to say they were opening up eye tests soon.

In the meantime don't pressure him but give him a love of books. Read lots of stories, look at non Fiction for information on subjects he loves which is often dinosaurs at that age.
Boys are often busy at that age.Maybe things in the classroom interest him more.I would have his sight and hearing checked. They usually are tested by the school nurse in Reception but who knows whether that will be possible at present.

Thanks. He had his hearing checked last summer and had minor problems with one frequency but not a frequency that would cause any problems. I have booked an appointment with a behavioural optometrist as his mum had/has issues with visual discrimination - she is adopted and I put it down to the in utero methadone addiction she was born with but maybe I was wrong about that. Dad was on the gifted and talented register at school for maths and science but from what he tells me, I suspect he's probably dyslexic. so the behavioural optometrist should be able to see if there are any dyslexic type symptoms however as he is so strong willed and so intrinsically motivated and reading doesn't do it for him at the moment, I think the problem is that he doesn't want to read and nobody is going to make him,,,,but in our education system unfortunately that is just not an option.

When ds1 was little he did have lots of challenges with reading so would refuse to read. I decided to take the pressure away completely. Instead I read lots and lots to him and when we had reading books I would take it in turns to read lines in his books and would model working out words, sometimes I would just quietly read with him.

One of my mothers wonderful sayings is 'if you stop fighting then the fighting stops'. So you may find if he feels no pressure to read he may start reading again.

Ds1 is dyslexic but by being exposed to lots of books being read to him it mitigated some of the disadvantages. His vocabulary, knowledge of stories and story structure, and his knowledge of grammar are all good. His spelling though is shocking!!!

Yes, I do read to him and have done since being very little, he still loves a story and is equally interested in books about his passion which we also read. I have taken the pressure off but his teacher hasn't and with only 6 in the class at the moment I think she sees it as a failing on her part if he doesn't make adequate progress this year (and he hasn't as he had been able to read cvc words for 6 months before entering reception and he's still not much further on than that atm) So yesterday he spent all morning writing one sentence and today 45 minutes reading his book - one sentence a page, 10 or so pages. He doesn't seem stressed in any way, just has a defiant look on his face as if to say 'I'm not reading to you and there is nothing you can do to make me.'

I'd completely back off at home. Read him stories. Keep it fun. Don't let him see that you are remotely bothered by his reluctance to read. Don't let homework become the battleground that all other battles are fought over. It's been a weird old time and it's probably worth cutting him some slack. If he picked reading up easily before, the chances are that when he feels less stressed / defiant / cross, he'll do so again without a problem.

If the pressure is coming from school I would explain the situation and ask for them to take the pressure of too. My eldest DS (and funnily my DH too) react to pressure by pushing back harder and harder rather than giving in. It is really intense teaching a small group in these weird times.

Could you test the theory that he's pretending not to be able to by - I would say getting him to hold the shopping list and say what's next but realise that's not a great option for now but something similar - reading the instructions to a game or something related to whatever he is really interested in. At least that way you will know and then can act accordingly

Also an ex-teacher here. I think you're doing the right thing in backing off at home. The most important thing at this age is that he learns to love reading and associates it with spending time with you. Could you combine learning sounds with something he likes to do? We used to: make sounds out of play doh, spray them with shaving cream, colour in a sound Nd surround it with pictures of words including that sound, make our own illustrations for a blank book, use those foam bath letters, play computer games like "teach your monster to read" or "phonics play"... With the messy play ones you will need to explain to him that it's still learning time and he will be able to play properly with it after he's made x number of words. Sorry for crappy grammar and punctuation. My phone screen is smashed and hard to type on.

There are loads of fun phonics ideas on this site phonicsfamilycom.wordpress.com/activity-glossary/ . I've had a lot of success making reading a game with some of these ideas. We've done a treasure hunt with written clues and prizes at the end - that might be a way of testing if it's a can't or won't read?

Loving the idea of a treasure hunt. I might try it today. A bag of haribos as treasure. Reading for a purpose and (almost) instant gratification. Genius. (though I have a dark fear that he will catch on what I'm up to and sabotage it!)

Oh and a video clip on tapestry for his teacher to see that read, write inc isn't the only way to skin a cat.

Also try the hairy phonics apps. They are carefully structured but fun to do.

It's not quite the same scenario as my DS is autistic, but we were also getting lots of battles at home so I started surrounding him with words that link to his special interests (trains) So he has route maps to look at, station signs to look at and he started asking what the words said so I'd sound them out to him. It was a good way of being able to subtlety reinforce phonics teaching.

My daughter was similar, I got her eyes checked all well and good and then I had a meeting with the teacher and she suggested a coloured film to put over the books to stop the words "dancing on the page", teacher also gave me a pack about Dyslexia so have you thought about that?

Thank you everyone.
iwilltake - yes that's one of the things the behavioural optometrist will look at. Did it make a difference.

BatleyTown - his teacher his hinted a couple of times that she thinks he might be autistic. I don't think so - he was/is too verbally precocious. However he is very interested and knowledgeable about animals and I have been trying to finding books that would support this.

The treasure hunt worked an absolute treat! He did more reading in 10 minutes than he's done in the last 10 weeks. It did reveal to me that he is very rusty from lack of practise but more than able to follow simple one sentence clues - reading for meaning and working out words from context. I'm wondering how many times I can do this before he gets fed up or his teeth rot from the haribos!

I would not discount autism just because of his speech, especially if his speech is quite 'grown up' for his age. It can sometimes show more in their literal use or understanding of speech.

I have thought long and hard about autism but it doesn't stack up - he plays well with other children and has been invited to all the birthday parties this year. He is physically very agile - riding a 2 wheeled bicycle at 3 years and 1 month old, coming first in running last sports day even with a late July birthday. A very abstract thinker 'I don't believe in God - no one is invisible and anyway how could he have created himself?' (I'm pretty sure he's never heard anyone say this). However there are some aspects of social language he finds difficult. Even though I've been teaching him please and thankyou forever, he has only recently mastered it without having to be reminded (his little sister has never needed to be reminded).

have you tried comics ? cbebees ones , number blocks anything that takes the 'chore' out of it, could also be used as bribery

@Supergran58 I'm pleased it worked, you could do a scavenger hunt with written instructions for what to find if you wanted to try a slight variation?

Another one that has worked well with DS is getting him to read words linked to his interests (transport in our case). I've pulled together a selection of toys and written their names on masking tape, then he has to match up the toys and the labels. You could make it clues rather than the names of toys if you wanted him to read sentences rather than just words.

My DD was very similar - very early to talk, sentences by a year etc.

Refused to even contemplate reading in Reception, not much better in Y1, by Y2 everyone had stopped saying not to worry and the dyslexia diagnosis was through shortly after she turned 7.

We haven't put pressure on - house full of books, including loads of children's books at all levels so if she wants to read the options are there, but we found films of good literature (Narnia, 5 Children & It etc) and audio books have been the best way forward. DD may not choose to read for pleasure often, but she has the vocabulary and love of stories that is probably more important.

Also strong-willed - with bows on. I wish you luck!

@Supergran58

I have thought long and hard about autism but it doesn't stack up - he plays well with other children and has been invited to all the birthday parties this year. He is physically very agile - riding a 2 wheeled bicycle at 3 years and 1 month old, coming first in running last sports day even with a late July birthday. A very abstract thinker 'I don't believe in God - no one is invisible and anyway how could he have created himself?' (I'm pretty sure he's never heard anyone say this). However there are some aspects of social language he finds difficult. Even though I've been teaching him please and thankyou forever, he has only recently mastered it without having to be reminded (his little sister has never needed to be reminded).

No disrespect to your professional knowledge, but recognising and acknowledging autism in our own children is entirely different. The spectrum is huge. Many have amazingly developed speech. I would be encouraging you to at least pursue the school's gentle nudging. If you do and the professionals say there's no diagnosis you've only lost the effort. Not doing could mean by the time you are on board - if ever-that your gs has been misunderstood and not supported as best as could have been.

The thing that really helped my dc were Irlens glasses- not cheap but they reduce the movement of words and the glare. Now they are doing well in school. It is possible to have dyslexia - which is more auditory processing and Irlens which is visual processing.