Im really worried about ds2 at school. Any advice/opinions- am I over-reacting or not?

[tiredemma]

This may be a bit long(ish).

Right DS2 ( age 4yrs and 1mth) started Reception last week. He had been to private nursery since 14 weeks old-, I have never been concerned with his social interactions or confidence- he appears to be a very confident boy.

At Nursery ( and at home when we sit together reading etc) he has no interest in reading, writing- well not so much no interest- more so he does not understand what is going on- does not even recognise letters in his own name etc. This has never bothered him before as I was aware that compared to DS1- (who is a spetember baby and so was already 5 when he started reception)- his age would obviously limit his abilities compared to DS1.

However since starting school he has recognised that he cannot do many of the things that his peers can ( ie write his own name- someone has to sit with him and show him what letters to write)- yesterday he cried all the way to school and told me that he cant write, which upset me as it has never bothered him before.

This makes me feel awful, thinking of him at school all day feeling like this.

Is it normal for a boy of his age to not be able to read/write (without being prompted what to write?)

this is new to me- DS1 is the total opposite and I feel bad for

1. comparing his ability in reception
2. sometimes not recognising that DS2 is a whole year younger than DS1 was when he started reception.

I dont want to mention it to the teacher in case she things im overreacting and neurotic.

thnaks for listening.

Dd is a 4.1 baby in Reception and alongside some much older children including one who has received mad, unabashed hothousing since all he could do was mewl and puke . So lots of them are already starting to read, and can write their names.
But, the school are being very good at encouraging everyone to progress at their own level. There is no way dd can write anything other than the letters of her name in an unreliable order and it's obvious to me she is a very normally bright and inquisitive small child. I'd mention it to the teacher so they can focus on praising your ds' achievements and encourage him to feel positive about Reception.

I remember when ds1 started, his teacher said that their starting levels don't really bear much resemblance to how they do later anyway - as marina said, some children will have been totally hot-housed, and others will have been to full time nursery, some will never have been left by their parents - the first term is about them settling in, making a few friends, learning how school works.

It is normal for a boy. My DS was 4 last week so only a bit younger than your DS and he can't even be persuaded to hold a pencil properly let alone do anything but scribble with it. Most boys don't like to sit down and sit still. Simple as that. I am lucky that DS2 will be one of the oldest in the class when he starts next year so he will be able to get some more help from his nursery before he starts school and we don't have to worry about it yet.

The problem is I suppose that it is upsetting for your ds. I would have a word with the teacher as she might be able to make him see that he isn't alone in his inability to write and that it doesn't matter yet. I can't believe there is another boy in the class who can't write his name. DS1 couldn't and he was 4 and 7 weeks when he started school and he certainly wasn't alone. The teacher needs to know so that she can reassure him.

olive - just do the first letter. I only do it with DD because she insists. "want to do writing" when I am half way through making the white sauce.