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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Dd1 is "scared of the playground"

22 replies

oliveoil · 19/09/2007 11:24

Apparently it is too busy and people push her

Which I am sure is baloney and they have staff to oversee etc but how do I toughen her up?

She has only been to playgroup, 30 children, school has 60 in reception, 180 children in total school (don't think they are all out at once)

wise words for my fragile flower please

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zubb · 19/09/2007 11:30

What does she do at playtime? can you ask the staff at all?

katierocket · 19/09/2007 11:33

Well it might be baloney but IME children's playgrounds can be like Lord of the Flies. Have a chat with teacher and ask her/him to keep an eye on it for you?

Depends if it's intentional (which I doubt) or just accidental rough and tumble.

Piffle · 19/09/2007 11:33

same here olive - dd is visually impaired and gets knocked and pulled all the time, her knees are black and blue and ripped to bits.
She is very fearful now and will only play on the grass sitting down. she now has a playground buddy a 10 yr old girl who watches out for her, this was at schools suggestion is this a possibility perhaps?

Alambil · 19/09/2007 11:34

Can she find a friend and play calm things - has she got a favourite toy or something she can take for a week or so for "company" ? (ds did this)

DS went through this exact thing when he started (on 5th sept) and is only just getting used to it

He has hearing issues and hates loud noise, so therefore detests the playground but has managed to get used to it slowly

His school have a system (it is called Huff and Puff lol) where the year 6s play out at the same time and they look out for the shy/scared kids and make an effort to play with them - it is this that has helped ds

HuwEdwards · 19/09/2007 11:36

In our school reception kids have playtime at a diff time from the other years and then are gradually introduced. Sounds like that would suit your DD...

Original poster

oliveoil · 19/09/2007 11:37

well I spied the other week (!) when she was on mornings and they have some older children with yellow bibs on in the playground, I think they are Buddies or something

they have a wooden platform and she told me yesterday she sat on there "on her own (?) with X and Y", who are also fragile flowers

she is sensitive to noise and says he makes her head hurt

I think I am obsessing tbh and she just needs to get used to it

OP posts:

katierocket · 19/09/2007 11:40

No don't think you are obessing OO, playground can be an overwhelming place for children especially if they are naturally quiet.

zubb · 19/09/2007 11:46

good that she has X and Y to sit with OO.
Ds1 always used to tell me he didn't play with anyone and just stood by himself - so I spied and there he was in the middle of it all!
In the infants playground at our school after a few weeks everyone finds their feet - some just race round in the middle, while some stay at the edges just talking or playing gentler games. Sometimes the 2 will clash, but it is accidently and the staff are there to keep an eye on it all.

aintnomountainhighenough · 19/09/2007 11:46

oliveoil I don't think you are overstressing either. My DD has just started reception and my biggest worry has been how she has spent lunch time or breaktimes. It is important to me to know that she is safe and secure and of course happy. It sounds like your DD doesn't feel like that and I think you are right to be a little concerned. I would try and find out exactly what she does at lunch time and who she plays with. Maybe find out from the teacher if there is a quieter area, the reception class in my DDs school have a separate play area. Lets face it some of the older children are a lot bigger than our little ones and it must be quite daunting for them.

Piffle · 19/09/2007 11:48

olive obsess with me too
dd is also Auditory defensive and hates loud groups and fast moving things ie: boys
but she is also really sociable and enthusiastic and runs to join in and then gets ko'd
It breaks me in bits to be honest

Vikkin · 19/09/2007 11:52

My dd just started Year 1. We have a fenced off reception only play area. R kids can come OUT if they want, but if they feel overwhelmed they can go back in. Their confidence builds up and they do get used to the hurly burly. Older kids are not allowed into their area, only by invitation. Some Year 5/6 kids are invited in to play.
I confess I did used to hide across the road, just to see how dd was socialising. The day I saw her kick a Year 2 boy, then pull another boy all across the playground in a toybox, while the other girls cheered, I stopped spying.
Does the school have a first-aider who is always on duty in the same place each break. This could be good as a safe place. You could mention it to the member of staff 'oh, so and so is a little nervous about the playground, so I've told her if she plays near you, you'll keep an eye out...'

Original poster

oliveoil · 19/09/2007 11:57

they have a separate exit/entrance for reception and they have a little play area that is apart that they can use after they have had their lunch (I think)

will the teacher think I am an overprotective loon if I speak to her? also I am liable to well up when discussing dd1 and make a fool of myself!

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FluffyMummy123 · 19/09/2007 11:58

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Original poster

oliveoil · 19/09/2007 11:59

does it settle down after a few weeks? she has only been there for full time this week

am off out to Primark now , will be back after

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FluffyMummy123 · 19/09/2007 12:00

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FluffyMummy123 · 19/09/2007 12:00

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Vikkin · 19/09/2007 12:02

Olive, tell the teacher you are liable to well up. I am a bit like that as well, now I warn teachers/doctors at the beginning of the conv. 'I'm sorry, I do sometimes get a bit emotional when I talk about this. Just ignore me if I get silly'. Then go for it. You are not saying they are doing anything wrong, you just want to get things right for dd. You want her to be happy.
Do they have a dedicated classroom asst who also does play/dinner duty? Or does each class have a dedicated lunchtime supervisor. Make sure this person knows your dd and you, even if it means walking past the school and waving at the right time.

FluffyMummy123 · 19/09/2007 12:03

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FluffyMummy123 · 19/09/2007 12:06

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Original poster

oliveoil · 19/09/2007 13:05

lol at weirdy, I quite agree, I cry v easily when discussing my girls (or anything really), no idea why

school phoned when I was in M&S, dd1 has been sick, MIL sent to collect, bug going round

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreat

I will speak to the teacher when I am next there on Friday and see if she can get a buddy for her

OP posts:

FluffyMummy123 · 20/09/2007 18:20

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SparklePrincess · 20/09/2007 18:40

Im not sure what the answer is here. My 8 year old dd still has trouble going into the playground. She would prefer to help the teacher or sit inside & draw. I might suggest a quiet area for those who dont want to be involved in rough play.

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