Advice needed - NOT a stealth boast

[Picamyhoney]

This is not some stealth boast, I'm looking for genuine advice!

DC, aged 10, ( year 5) has been 'failing' as school according to teacher, barely keeping to the level required, refusing to do work, never speaks up in class etc.Not disruptive to other kids, just won't engage. No SEN issues.

DC seems bright, but says he's 'bored' and finds it hard to focus when not interested in the subject - which is everything in school.

Now we're homeschooling though it's become apparent that he can work easily to year 6 and year 7 levels - English, maths, science, all of it. He aces every test, quiz given though we or online tutor have to sit with him as he does it or he loses focus. He's also taken up and now playing an instrument to a high level in the last month so his focus is fine when it's something he cares about.

DP wants to get him 'tested' to see if he's 'gifted' in some way to try to understand him. I'l very reluctant. He's bright but no genius.

Not sure what to do - I feel when he goes back to school he'll go back to his quiet, unengaged ways. He's very sociable but doesn't like attention drawn to him ( won't take part in school plays or concerts, never speaks up, won't volunteer for anything etc). He's generally a happy, friendly, chatty boy so long as he's not the focus of the attention.

Any advice? Do we get him tested? If so what would that achieve? Talk to school? I feel like we're failing him by letting him drift along, under achieving in school. He thinks he's 'rubbish' in school, one of the worst pupils.

Anyone experienced this?

I had fairly similar with my eldest DC. He was younger but very disruptive particularly in maths. An Ed Psych review found him to be highly gifted. To be honest a few years down the line he's not particularly gifted in English (he's probably bottom of the top table in a fairly able class so he's doing well but definitely unexceptional) he is very good at maths. He does GCSE questions in Y3. The test also high lighted certain areas of weakness which apparently is common in children with certain skills (e.g. DS is quite immature socially and emotionally). I would say the test was useful but not a golden ticket.

If you're interested in getting him assessed you could go for a private Ed Psych (usually around £500 for a comprehensive assessment). Contact potential plus for more advice about other alternatives.

The losing focus and being gifted when it suits are adhd traits I wouldn’t rule out. Ed psych where we are is about £750 but we’ll worth doing I think.

www.potentialplusuk.org/index.php/families/assessments-for-children/

Seems like there are many kids like this who hate school but are bright as buttons outside, spec at that age.

I also recommend looking into Potential Plus. My daughter isn't a genius or anything but is ahead of her peers at school academically. She's only just 5 but we had major issues at pre-school and some problems in reception (different school - better for her) and I've found Potential Plus useful. I'd love to get her tested but it isn't cheap and whilst I'm somewhat happy with what her school are doing to differentiate for her I'm not going to bother yet. But in your position I would be keener to.

It is totally normal that a child will perform better at home on a 1-2-1 basis than in the classroom for a lot of factors. In your ds' case it may just be having someone sitting next to him saying "next question".

I wouldn't look at testing-not sure what that will help with if he's not engaging at school. Maybe look at how to get him working at school, be it bribery, supporting him at home with supplementary projects or just letting his explore things he's interested in.

I can’t understand why anyone would recommend not testing? We had both our children assessed by an Ed Psych, and it was the best money we ever spent. One had mild, but significant SEN, the other was well into the gifted spectrum. Understanding your child is vital. I would wholeheartedly recommend.

@Mumto2two

I think the only reason not to test is the price. I agree though that of you can afford it it's invaluable.

I'd say beware about paying for testing. You need a clinical psychologist to diagnose ADHD, not an Educational psychologist.
I'd also say take time to step back and see how your DS performs when you're not by his side. Is it just lack of focus, or do you subconsciously give him a great deal of support? I tutor children with SEN on a 1:1 basis, and they perform so much better than in the classroom. I explain to parents that it's not because the teacher is poor, but that the context is different.

Give him a task, don't explain it to him, see if he can figure it out. There's a whole world of difference between working out how to complete a task and being told how to complete it.

@Soontobe60

Good point. I think an Ed Psych test is worth having, if it was free I'd tell everyone to go for it. It's probably useful/interesting for all kids but like you say you may spend £500-700 and not have any indication of anything and certainly won't be able to get a diagnosis.

@HandfulOfDust

It would certainly be more useful to teachers if all children had a cognitive assessment off an EP in Year 2 instead of doing SATs. But as EPs are as rare as hens teeth these days, that would be impossible to carry out!

I had my DS tested by Ed Psych, with somewhat opposite problems to yours. Mine is very disruptive in the class, and even exclusion has been mentioned. All teachers' feedback through reception and Year 1 was that he is developmentally delayed, his EYFS report was quite a sad read. He was referred to the NHS but there is a wait of around 2-3 years at the moment, so I went private (what is bizarre is that you can book the same expert privately and be seen in 2-3 weeks, not years).

The assessment focuses on several areas of ability, such as non verbal reasoning, verbal reasoning, spatial imaging, working memory, numeracy and literacy. My DS scored in the top 1% for all maths related things, and in the bottom 20% for literacy.

He's Y1 and we now are easily and fluently working with Y4 maths curriculum, in four weeks of intermittent home schooling now (the school was constantly marking him as behind, as he struggles to complete assignments in the classroom). I don't know what to do with the reading and literacy, I am not very fluent in English myself and there's no second parent.

Having seen that, I tend more and more towards home schooling. Not sure how I would do that yet or how that would work out financially.

Do you think home schooling could work well for your family?

Sounds like me at school. Back when I went we didn't have terms like ADHD it was naughty kid, disruptive kid. Doesn't listen to teachers kid.

Knowing what I know now about myself defiantly have ADHD and I the same as your describing your child.

I'd deffo go for testing, I wish I had been as it would have helped a lot knowing what was up with me but it hardly even excited back the. 😔

DS2 is extremely bright. Unfortunately this was missed at school to start with, as he’s summer born so was automatically put in the ‘lower’ learning groups for everything. He was extremely disruptive and constantly on that horrible ‘thinking cloud’ thing’. We moved both boys to a much smaller school when DS2 was in Year 1, due to DS1 having autism and many additional extras. As soon as they started at the new school, DS2 was put on the accelerated learning programme and he’s thrived ever since. He also stopped being distuptive as soon as he became engaged and challenged by his learning.

Try some of the 11plus testing as that looks at more innate intelligence. Also try some SATS papers to see if he can tackle those already. The more important factor is where he will go for Senior school.

There's a lot more to being "bright" than being able to perform well in a non-verbal reasoning test etc. Learning behaviours are really important. Things such as: being able to work at something that seems hard at first, organising your ideas, finishing things, practising skills that seem boring, not procrastinating, noticing mistakes and finding out why you've made them... I'm not just talking about effort, but the insight into your own learning that distinguishes someone who is "bright" from someone who actually achieves.
It sounds like your son needs some help with these aspects of learning and I would approach the school with this in mind. You'll get short shrift with the "my son is brilliant and you're not stimulating him" approach, but it does sound like he needs help with confidence and social skills.

What you need to consider is what are you hoping having him tested will achieve?

If he needs more difficult work, then you could mention this to the teacher, or you could supplement his work. If there is a gifted and talented register, then this would make sense, but if the school doesn't have one, then not sure it would make much of a difference?

Seems to me if his self esteem is low, then this definitely should get flagged up.

There's a lot more to being "bright" than being able to perform well in a non-verbal reasoning test etc. Learning behaviours are really important. Things such as: being able to work at something that seems hard at first, organising your ideas, finishing things, practising skills that seem boring, not procrastinating, noticing mistakes and finding out why you've made them... I'm not just talking about effort, but the insight into your own learning that distinguishes someone who is "bright" from someone who actually achieves.

Reversiblesequinsforadults (good name!!) has it spot on. This is exactly what we had to teach dd1, as school was easy for her and she didn’t learn it there. We did it as 11 plus prep, but that’s by no means the only way.